工作— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Your answer should be more natural and directly address the question. Start with a clear topic sentence stating your current status, then add a brief supporting detail. Avoid awkward phrasing like "Noticed I'm working" and be concise.

範例: I am currently working full-time as a crew member at Tim Hortons, and I really enjoy my job because it allows me to meet many people.

建議: Try to make your answer more coherent and grammatically correct. Use linking words to connect ideas and be specific about your work environment. Avoid redundancy and unclear phrases like "Very can easily meet the people."

範例: I work full-time at Tim Hortons, where I easily meet and interact with customers, which helps me learn more about different people every day.

建議: Your answer should be clearer and more structured. Start with a direct response, then add specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid grammatical errors and unclear sentences.

範例: Yes, it is a great place to work because I have good relationships with my coworkers and manager. Also, many regular customers enjoy talking with me, and sometimes they even invite me to their family events.

建議: Your answer is unclear and contains many grammatical errors. Focus on giving a clear, concise response with supporting details connected logically. Avoid incomplete sentences and unclear phrases like "Felben feelings."

範例: Yes, I like my workplace because it is clean and organized. My team members are helpful and efficient, and we always serve customers with a positive attitude and a smile.

建議: Your answer should be more fluent and structured. Start with a clear statement of your plans, then explain your reasons using linking words. Avoid fragmented sentences and unclear expressions like "serving blinds."

範例: In the short term, I plan to contribute more to the community by taking a course to become a continuing care assistant. I believe this job has good opportunities and allows me to help people in need.

× Noticed I'm working in the full time crew member in a Tim Horton and I love my job.

✓ I am working as a full-time crew member at Tim Hortons and I love my job.

The original sentence lacks a subject and has incorrect prepositions and article usage. 'Noticed' is not appropriate here; the sentence needs a subject 'I am'. 'Full time' should be hyphenated as 'full-time' when used as an adjective. 'In a Tim Horton' should be 'at Tim Hortons' to indicate place of work. Correct sentence structure improves clarity.

× I work as a full time employee in the Tim Horton and I love my job a lot.

✓ I work as a full-time employee at Tim Hortons and I love my job a lot.

The article 'the' before 'Tim Horton' is incorrect because 'Tim Hortons' is a proper noun for a company name and does not require 'the'. Also, 'full time' should be hyphenated as 'full-time' when used as an adjective. 'In' should be replaced with 'at' to indicate place of work.

× Very can easily meet the people and I can interact them and get more and more knowledge in our daily life.

✓ I can easily meet people, interact with them, and gain more and more knowledge in daily life.

The original sentence is fragmented and lacks a subject. 'Very can easily meet the people' is incorrect; it should be 'I can easily meet people'. 'Interact them' is incorrect; the verb 'interact' requires the preposition 'with'. 'Get more and more knowledge in our daily life' is better expressed as 'gain more and more knowledge in daily life' for natural phrasing.

× I love my coworker, I love my manage are they also love me?

✓ I love my coworkers, I love my manager, and they also love me.

'Coworker' should be plural 'coworkers' to match the context. 'Manage' is incorrect; it should be 'manager'. The sentence is a run-on and should be separated properly with conjunctions. The question mark is inappropriate here; it should be a statement.

× Even I know a lot of customer who comes on daily basis and they love to talk to me and they want to interact with me ever single person.

✓ I even know a lot of customers who come on a daily basis, and they love to talk to me and want to interact with me, every single person.

'Customer' should be plural 'customers' to agree with 'a lot of'. 'Who comes' should be 'who come' to agree with plural subject. 'Ever single person' should be 'every single person'. The sentence is long and needs commas for clarity.

× Sometimes they call me and invite me on there. Family functions.

✓ Sometimes they call me and invite me to their family functions.

The preposition 'on' is incorrect here; it should be 'to' when referring to invitations. 'There' should be 'their' to indicate possession. The sentence was fragmented and is corrected to a single coherent sentence.

× Yes, I like it when my my work place is very neat and clean.

✓ Yes, I like it when my workplace is very neat and clean.

The phrase 'my my' is a repetition error and should be corrected to 'my'. 'Work place' is better written as one word 'workplace'. The sentence structure is otherwise correct.

× Everyone is very helpful my.

✓ Everyone is very helpful to me.

The original sentence ends abruptly with 'my' which is incorrect. It should be 'helpful to me' to express the intended meaning.

× We are serving customers. With the whole very very hard Felben feelings.

✓ We are serving customers with very hard feelings.

The original sentences are fragmented and unclear. 'Felben' is likely a mishearing or misspelling; assuming 'feelings' is intended. The phrase 'whole very very hard' is awkward; simplified to 'very hard feelings' for clarity. The two sentences are combined for coherence.

× Link with them keep a smile on my face which is.

✓ I keep a smile on my face when interacting with them.

The original sentence is incomplete and unclear. 'Link with them' is better expressed as 'interacting with them'. The phrase 'which is' is unnecessary and removed. The sentence is restructured for clarity.

× Short term plan to do. Sort of more and more to the community.

✓ My short-term plan is to do more and more for the community.

The original sentences are fragmented and unclear. 'Short term plan to do' lacks a subject and verb. 'Sort of more and more to the community' is awkward; corrected to 'do more and more for the community' to express intention clearly.

× So now I'm thinking to take up course as a continuing care assistance.

✓ So now I'm thinking of taking up a course as a continuing care assistant.

The phrase 'thinking to take up course' is incorrect; it should be 'thinking of taking up a course'. 'Assistance' is a noun meaning help; the correct term for the job is 'assistant'. Article 'a' is needed before 'course' and 'continuing care assistant'.

× I recognize that there's more scope. Of serving. Blinds over there so I would prefer that job now.

✓ I recognize that there's more scope for serving the blind over there, so I would prefer that job now.

The original sentences are fragmented and unclear. 'Scope. Of serving. Blinds' should be combined into 'scope for serving the blind'. 'Blinds' should be 'the blind' to refer to visually impaired people. The sentences are combined for clarity and flow.