购物— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct basic grammar (e.g., "depends," "clothes," "books") and remove filler sounds like "uh." Aim for 2–4 sentences and use precise vocabulary (e.g., "relaxing," "discovering").

示例: Yes, I enjoy shopping because it helps me relax and discover new things. For example, I love browsing clothes and books, and I also like looking at new technology gadgets. Overall, shopping is both practical and enjoyable for me.

建议: Give a direct topic sentence then support with concise reasons and a specific example. Correct grammar (e.g., "it depends," "I plan to use for a long time," "helps me") and use linking words like "because" or "therefore." Keep it within 2–3 sentences to sound natural.

示例: Yes, I usually compare prices because I want to get good value for money. For instance, when I buy a laptop that I will use for years, I compare features and prices online to avoid making a poor choice.

建议: Start with a clear statement and give specific reasons and a brief example. Eliminate filler words and fix grammar (e.g., "I'm the kind of person who always struggles with choosing"). Use linking words like "so" or "therefore" to connect ideas and keep to 2–3 sentences.

示例: Yes, I find it difficult because I often worry about making the wrong choice, especially with clothes. Therefore, I usually go shopping with my mother or friends who give honest opinions and help me decide quickly.

建议: Avoid absolute statements and hedging repetition. Start with a balanced opinion (e.g., "not always") and give a clear reason plus a brief example. Correct grammar (e.g., "expensive products are not always better," "cheaper products can be of lower quality"). Use linking words like "however" or "sometimes."

示例: I don't think expensive products are always better. Sometimes higher price means better materials or durability, but other times cheaper brands offer similar quality; for example, I once bought a relatively inexpensive phone case that was just as durable as a costly one.

× Yes, I do enjoy shopping. Yes, I do enjoy shopping.

✓ Yes, I do enjoy shopping.

Redundant repetition: this is not a grammar category from the list except Present tense issue (6) because the verb form is present; remove duplicate to be clear and concise. Suggestion: say the sentence once: 'Yes, I do enjoy shopping.'

× Uh, all those it's really depends on what I'm shopping for.

✓ It really depends on what I'm shopping for.

Unnecessary words and wrong structure: 'all those' is irrelevant and 'it's really depends' incorrectly combines 'it is' and 'depends'. The correct structure is simple present 'it depends'. Suggestion: use 'It depends on what I'm shopping for.'

× For me, shopping isn't only, uh, only practical activity is all, but it's also really way off at a way of relaxing and explore new kind of things, especially when it comes to closest books and technologies.

✓ For me, shopping isn't only a practical activity; it's also a way of relaxing and exploring new kinds of things, especially when it comes to clothes, books, and technology.

Multiple errors: missing article before 'practical activity' (Article errors 22), awkward phrasing 'really way off at a way' and wrong verb form 'explore' (should be gerund after 'way of' -> exploring, relates to Verb + -ing form 8), wrong plural forms 'closest' and 'technologies' (Singular and plural issue 1). Suggestions: add 'a' before 'practical activity', use 'a way of relaxing', change 'explore' to 'exploring', use 'kinds' and correct nouns 'clothes, books, and technology.'

× Uh, and I quite, I sometimes I find it quite exciting.

✓ And sometimes I find it quite exciting.

Redundant fragments and incorrect placement: remove extra 'I' and filler words for clarity. Present simple 'I find' is correct for habitual feeling. Suggestion: 'And sometimes I find it quite exciting.'

× Yes, I usually yes. I usually compare prices before buying something, especially if it's expensive or that I plan to use from that for the long time comparing.

✓ Yes, I usually compare prices before buying something, especially if it's expensive or if I plan to use it for a long time.

Redundancy 'Yes, I usually yes' and awkward clause 'that I plan to use from that for the long time comparing' (sentence structure error 26 and tense/wording 6). Use 'if I plan to use it for a long time.' Suggestion: keep it simple and use 'if' to introduce the reason.

× I believe comparing prices is really important which can helps me to make more financial decisions and avoid wasting money on something bad or product.

✓ I believe comparing prices is really important; it can help me make better financial decisions and avoid wasting money on poor-quality products.

Errors: 'which can helps' wrong relative clause and verb form (subject-verb agreement 27 and third person singular issue 2). 'Helps' should be 'help' after modal/auxiliary 'can' (Modal verb usage 4). 'More financial decisions' and 'something bad or product' are awkward; use 'better financial decisions' and 'poor-quality products.' Suggestion: use 'it can help me make better financial decisions.'

× Of course, it's really difficult to make choices when I buy something, uh, because I'm kind of person who, uh, all, who always struggled with, uh, choosing something.

✓ Of course, it's really difficult to make choices when I buy something because I'm the kind of person who always struggles with choosing.

Missing article 'the' before 'kind of person' (Article errors 22) and inconsistent tense 'always struggled' (Past tense issue 5) while referring to a habitual present state. Use present simple 'struggles' and remove filler words. Suggestion: 'I'm the kind of person who always struggles with choosing.'

× And that's why I prefer to go shopping with my mom or with my, some friends, which, uh, who helps me to, uh, choose something really well on me.

✓ That's why I prefer to go shopping with my mom or with some friends, who help me choose things that suit me well.

Pronoun and relative clause errors: 'which, uh, who' is incorrect; use 'who' for people. Subject-verb agreement: 'helps' should be 'help' (27). 'Choose something really well on me' is ungrammatical; use 'choose things that suit me well.' Suggestion: 'with some friends, who help me choose things that suit me well.'

× Oh, actually, uh, I personally believe that expensive products are often better than a cheaper ones because the quality of that expensive products will be more, uh, will be more, uh, comfortable and better than the cheaper ones.

✓ Oh, actually, I personally believe that expensive products are often better than cheaper ones because the quality of expensive products is usually higher and they are more comfortable than cheaper ones.

Article and agreement errors: 'a cheaper ones' mixes singular article with plural noun (Article errors 22, Singular and plural issue 1). 'That expensive products' wrong demonstrative (should be 'expensive products'). Verb tense/modal repetition 'will be more' awkward; use 'is usually higher.' Suggestion: 'expensive products are often better than cheaper ones because their quality is usually higher.'

× And because cheaper products can be really bad and uh, with the low quality.

✓ Cheaper products can be of low quality and perform poorly.

Awkward phrasing and article misuse 'with the low quality' (Sentence structure errors 26 and Article errors 22). Better to say 'of low quality' or 'have low quality' and specify consequence 'perform poorly.' Suggestion: 'Cheaper products can be of low quality and perform poorly.'