历史— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and correct verb forms and articles (e.g. 'a history' → 'history', 'I choose' → 'I chose'). Keep to 2–3 sentences and add a brief specific detail about what you studied or enjoyed.

示例: Yes. I studied history from junior high through high school. In junior high it was compulsory once a week, and in high school I chose history alongside my art major and had classes three times a week, focusing mainly on modern European history.

建议: Use clearer vocabulary and structure. Start with a direct statement of methods, use linking words (for example, 'also' or 'in addition'), correct word choice ('play through' → 'learn through' or 'revise with'), and avoid fillers ('uh'). Give one specific example of a documentary or book to add concreteness.

示例: I learn history mainly from classes and independent study. For example, my engaging high school teacher made lessons memorable, and in addition I watch documentaries online (such as The World at War) and read books like 'A People's History' to deepen my understanding.

建议: Clarify your main idea and use correct wording and sentence structure. Begin with a clear topic sentence ('The main benefit is...'), use linking words ('for example', 'so'), and replace incorrect words ('arrows' → 'lessons', 'compulsory people' → 'people') and awkward verbs ('clasp' → 'collapse'). Provide a specific example of a lesson learned from history.

示例: The main benefit of studying history is learning lessons from the past so people and governments can avoid repeating mistakes. For example, by studying economic crises such as the 1929 Great Depression, policymakers learned to implement safety nets and better financial regulation.

建议: Give a concise, confidently phrased opinion and support it with a specific reason or example. Fix grammar ('learning history make' → 'learning history makes', 'acquire a experience' → 'acquire experience', 'avoid to make' → 'avoid making'). Remove hedging ('maybe') and fillers ('uh').

示例: Yes, I believe history is very important because it helps people make wiser decisions. For instance, understanding past diplomatic failures can guide leaders to pursue diplomacy instead of repeating costly conflicts.

× Of course, when I was in junior high school, it's compulsory for our students to learn a history and we have history classes once a week.

✓ Of course, when I was in junior high school, it was compulsory for students to study history and we had history classes once a week.

The original mixes present and past tenses ('it's compulsory' with 'when I was') causing tense inconsistency and uses the article 'a' with 'history' incorrectly. Change to past tense 'was compulsory' and remove the indefinite article before an uncountable noun 'history'. Use 'students' instead of 'our students' for natural phrasing in reported past context.

× And since I entered the high school, I majored in art.

✓ And after I entered high school, I majored in art.

The phrase 'since I entered the high school' is awkward and 'since' with a past simple can be used but here 'after' is more natural. Also, 'high school' does not usually need 'the'. Keep past tense 'majored' to match the time frame.

× So I choose history as my major and I have I had history classes 3 * a week at that time.

✓ So I chose history as my major and I had history classes three times a week at that time.

The sentence mixes present ('choose') and past ('had') tenses; use simple past 'chose' to match 'at that time'. Also use 'three times a week' for natural expression instead of '3 * a week'.

× I like to play through a historical classes, of course, because my history teacher is really interesting and whenever he taught me the classes I I feel fascinated in.

✓ I liked to go through history classes, of course, because my history teacher was really interesting and whenever he taught I felt fascinated.

Article and noun number errors: 'a historical classes' is incorrect; use 'history classes' (no article, plural). Tense should be past to match earlier context: 'liked', 'was', 'taught', 'felt'. Remove extraneous preposition 'in' after 'fascinated' because 'fascinated' is adjective that does not require 'in' here.

× And also I learned history through watching, uh, videos like documentaries online and also, uh, reading some historical books to enhance my ability.

✓ I also learned history by watching videos like documentaries online and by reading some history books to improve my knowledge.

Use 'by' to indicate means (not 'through watching') and avoid redundant 'also'. 'Historical books' is acceptable but 'history books' is more natural. 'Enhance my ability' is vague; 'improve my knowledge' fits context. Keep past tense 'learned'.

× I think the biggest benefits of learning history is learn the arrows from the past so the compulsory people can avoid to call them again like in the past.

✓ I think the biggest benefit of learning history is learning the lessons from the past so people can avoid repeating them.

Multiple problems: subject-verb agreement and number ('benefits' vs 'is'), incorrect verb forms ('is learn'), wrong word choice 'arrows' likely meant 'errors' or 'lessons', and awkward phrase 'the compulsory people can avoid to call them again'. Correct to singular 'benefit', use gerund 'learning', replace 'arrows' with 'lessons', and use 'avoid repeating them' for correct structure.

× If the rulers don't run the countries wisely then the country or the civilization will clasp.

✓ If rulers do not run their countries wisely, then the country or the civilization will collapse.

Negative present tense should be 'do not' for general condition; 'don't' is acceptable but 'do not' is clearer. 'Run the countries' is better as 'run their countries'. The verb 'clasp' is incorrect word choice; the correct verb is 'collapse' meaning fall apart. Maintain conditional structure: 'If... , then ... will ...'.

× Like an old Chinese saying goes, learning history make people wise.

✓ As an old Chinese saying goes, learning history makes people wise.

Use 'as' rather than 'like' when introducing a saying. Subject-verb agreement: 'learning history' (singular) requires 'makes' not 'make'.

× Like I mentioned before, learning history or acquire a experience from the past can help people avoid to make the same mistake again.

✓ As I mentioned before, learning history or acquiring experience from the past can help people avoid making the same mistakes again.

Use 'as' to reference previous remark. Parallel structure requires gerund 'acquiring' to match 'learning'. 'a experience' incorrect article; use 'experience' (uncountable) or 'an experience' if countable. After 'avoid' use gerund 'making', and plural 'mistakes' generally fits. Maintain present tense for general truth.

× So uh, I think learning history is important and maybe help people be more intelligent.

✓ So, I think learning history is important and may help people become more knowledgeable.

Modal verb agreement: 'maybe help' is incorrect; use 'may help' or 'might help'. 'Be more intelligent' is better expressed as 'become more knowledgeable' or 'more informed' in this context. Use present tense for general statements.