网站— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 回答は意味が通じますが、表現がやや冗長で文法と語順の誤りが見られます。話し出しで主題文を簡潔に述べ、続けて具体例と理由をつなげる接続表現（for example, because, so）を明確に使う練習をしてください。また「news about newspapers」は不自然なので“online news”や“news websites”など自然な語を使いましょう。

示例: I often visit online news websites such as Yahoo News because they help me gather current information quickly. For example, I check headlines and feature articles there to stay informed about national and international events.

建议: 内容は伝わりますが、文法や語順の誤り、語の選択ミス（“on the being positive”など）があります。まず主題文で理由を一つ示し、その後で具体例や効果を2文以内で補足する練習をしてください。自然なフレーズ（“it makes me feel positive”や“see my friends' posts”）を使いましょう。

示例: My favorite website is Instagram because it lets me connect with many people and makes me feel more positive. For example, I often see my friends' posts and follow influencers who share useful tips and inspiring stories.

建议: 答えは要点を述べていますが、文法（主語と動詞の一致）、語の選び方（“organizing company of Instagrams”は不自然）、冗長な繰り返しがあります。まず一文で変更点を明確に述べ、次に具体的な変更内容を説明してください。また“movies”より“videos”の方が自然です。

示例: Yes. Instagram has changed recently because the company has improved its functions and interface. For example, they updated the app to allow users to post longer videos.

建议: 主旨は明確ですが、文のつながりが悪く断片的です（“functions for. Usual uses.”など）。具体例は良いですが、文法的に正しい形で繋げる練習をしてください。課金機能について話す場合は“paid features”など自然な表現を使いましょう。

示例: In Japan, social media websites are the most popular because people can easily create accounts and post content freely. For example, X is widely used and offers many free features for everyday use as well as optional paid features for extra services.

建议: 比較は明確ですが“correct”の使い方が不自然で、語順と単語選択（“quick information”）に改善の余地があります。対比表現（On the other hand, However）を自然に使い、正確さを表すときは“verify accurate information”や“find reliable information”を使いましょう。

示例: It depends on the situation. If I need very accurate or verified information, I consult books; however, if I need information quickly, I use websites because they are more convenient.

建议: 意図は理解できますが、話が断片化しており不自然な表現（“Be it this website”や“make up our website”）や人称の混乱があります。まず希望を簡潔に述べ、その後目的（自己紹介、就職活動）を明確に説明してください。自然な表現は“create a website to introduce myself”や“to share information with potential employers”です。

示例: Yes, I would like to have my own website because I could introduce myself and showcase my skills. For example, I plan to create a personal site to share my resume and portfolio with potential employers when I look for a new job after studying abroad.

建议: 内容は良いが語彙の誤用（“for my good health”, “ingrained dents”）や文の断片化が多いです。まず主題文で学んだことを述べ、次に具体例を短く明確に説明してください。適切な語は“healthy eating”や“nutritional information”です。

示例: I have learned about healthy eating from websites, such as which foods are good or bad for my health. For example, I read web pages that show the nutritional information of vegetables and meats, which helps me plan balanced meals.

× I often visit websites about Internet news such as Yahoo News or news about newspapers because I would like to collect the information effectively using such news website.

✓ I often visit websites about Internet news, such as Yahoo News or newspaper websites, because I would like to collect information effectively using such news websites.

『about Internet news such as Yahoo News or news about newspapers』の部分は冗長で不自然な前置詞の使い方があるため修正しました。また 'the information' は一般的な情報を指すので冠詞を除き 'information' とし、'such news website' は複数のウェブサイトを指すので 'such news websites' にしました。改善のため、前置詞 'about' を繰り返さないようにし、名詞の単複一致に注意してください。

× My favorite website is Instagram because I can connect with many people via the Instagram and social media makes me more energetic on the being positive.

✓ My favorite website is Instagram because I can connect with many people via Instagram, and social media makes me feel more positive.

'via the Instagram' の 'the' は不要で固有名詞の前では通常省略します。'more energetic on the being positive' は不自然な表現なので 'feel more positive' に置き換えました。感情を表す際は 'be energetic' より 'feel positive' のような動詞を使うと自然になります。

× For example, when I use Instagram, I can see many friends post.

✓ For example, when I use Instagram, I can see many friends' posts.

'many friends post' は動詞 'post' と名詞 'posts' の混同があるため所有格を用いて 'friends' posts' にするか 'many friends posting' のように動名詞にします。ここでは名詞形 'posts' が適切です。

× In addition, I can see many influencers.

✓ In addition, I can see many influencers.

この文自体は文法的に正しいため変更は不要です。ただし前後の文とつながりを良くするため 'also' や 'as well' を使うと自然です。

× Yes. There are changes in Instagram because the company try to improve their functions and the UI for example.

✓ Yes. There have been changes in Instagram because the company tries to improve its functions and the UI, for example.

'There are changes' は現在の変化を言う場合は 'have been changes' や 'there have been changes' が自然です。また主語 'the company' は単数なので動詞は 'tries' にします。所有格も 'their' ではなく単数の 'its' を用います。

× Their organizing company of Instagrams changed and added a function about movies.

✓ The company that organizes Instagram changed and added a feature for videos.

'Their organizing company of Instagrams' は不自然な語順と代名詞の誤用です。'Instagram' は単数扱いで 'the company that organizes Instagram' のように表現し、'function about movies' は英語では 'feature for videos' とするのが自然です。

× They, uh, they can. They enabled us to post longer movies.

✓ They enabled us to post longer videos.

'They, uh, they can.' は意味があいまいで不要です。また 'movies' は通常長編の映画を指すため、SNSでの投稿は 'videos' が適切です。冗長な語を省き、明確な動詞 'enabled' をそのまま用います。

× In Japan, social media websites are most popular websites because people can easily create an account and they can post freely.

✓ In Japan, social media websites are the most popular websites because people can easily create an account and post freely.

'most popular websites' は 'the most popular websites' のように定冠詞が必要です。また 'they can post freely' の 'they' を省略して動詞だけで十分です。

× For example, X, which is one of the most popular social media in Japan, has many functions for. Usual uses.

✓ For example, X, which is one of the most popular social media platforms in Japan, has many functions for usual use.

'most popular social media' は集合名詞なので 'platforms' を加えると明確です。'has many functions for. Usual uses.' は文の区切りが不適切なので一文にまとめて 'for usual use' としました。

× In addition they have many functions which they pay some extra money, so it's very useful.

✓ In addition, they have many functions for which you can pay extra money, so it's very useful.

'which they pay some extra money' は代名詞と主語が不明確です。'you can pay extra money' のように受益者を明確にすると自然です。

× It depends on the situation, but if I would like to correct accurate information, I refer to books.

✓ It depends on the situation, but if I want to find accurate information, I refer to books.

'would like to correct accurate information' は意味が通りません。正確な情報を 'find' または 'verify' したい場合はその動詞を使います。条件節には通常 'would' ではなく 'want' を用います。

× On the other hand, if I quickly correct the information, I use the Internet because it's more convenient and it's more useful if I need to quick information.

✓ On the other hand, if I need information quickly, I use the Internet because it's more convenient and useful.

'quickly correct the information' は意味が不明瞭で語順が不適切です。'need information quickly' が自然です。また 'need to quick information' は誤った形容詞の使用で 'need information quickly' に直します。

× If I had a chance, I'd have uh, my own website because I can introduce myself.

✓ If I had a chance, I'd have my own website because I could introduce myself.

仮定法過去の文脈では主節に 'would' を使い、その結果の可能性を表すため 'could' の方が適切です。また 'uh' のような間投詞は削除します。

× Be it this website, uh, for sharing the information to the job agents.

✓ For example, this website could be for sharing information with job agents.

元の文は主語と動詞が欠けており不完全です。'sharing the information to the job agents' は前置詞の誤用があるため 'sharing information with job agents' に直し、文全体を完結させました。

× Personally, I'm considering changing my job after coming back to studying abroad.

✓ Personally, I'm considering changing my job after coming back from studying abroad.

'coming back to studying abroad' は不自然な前置詞の使い方です。'come back from studying abroad' のように 'from' を使って戻る場所を表現します。

× Or to prepare this job change, I will make up our website for myself.

✓ To prepare for this job change, I will make my own website.

'make up our website for myself' は代名詞の混乱があります。自分のサイトを作る場合は 'make my own website' または 'create a website for myself' が適切です。

× I have learned the information about health, such as what I should eat for my good health or what I should not eat for my good health.

✓ I have learned information about health, such as what I should eat for good health or what I should not eat for good health.

'the information' は特定の情報ではないので冠詞を除き 'information' とします。'for my good health' より一般的な 'for good health' が自然です。

× For example, when I watched our website which shows data about the foods.

✓ For example, when I visited a website that shows data about foods,

'watched our website' は不自然で 'visit' や 'looked at' が適切です。'our website' は文脈上不明なので 'a website' にし、関係代名詞を自然な語順にしました。なおこの句は文の一部なので続きが必要です。

× I refer to that web page to collect the information about the ingrained dents of the vegetables and meats.

✓ I referred to that web page to collect information about the ingredients of vegetables and meats.

'refer to' の時制は前後と一致させる必要があります（過去の文脈なら 'referred'）。'ingrained dents' はおそらく 'ingredients' の誤りです。また 'the information about the ingredients' は冗長なので 'information about ingredients' が自然です。