广告— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more direct and clear: start with a topic sentence that answers the question, then give 1–2 specific details and one reason why it impressed you. Avoid filler words (umm, really) and awkward phrases. Use linking words such as "because" or "which" to connect ideas. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

示例: I remember one advertisement from my childhood that made an impression on me. It was an Indian commercial for a washing machine that showed a family dancing while the machine cleaned clothes in one day, which felt very creative and joyful. I liked it because the music and storytelling made the product memorable and friendly.

建议: Start with a clear topic sentence and add a specific example or frequency detail. Remove repetition and improve coherence with a linking phrase such as "for example" or "for instance." Keep it concise (1–3 sentences).

示例: Yes, I see a lot of advertising on public transport when I go to work. For example, I often notice posters on bus stops and full-body ads on buses and trains during my commute.

建议: Begin with a direct opinion sentence, then give a clear reason and a concrete example. Avoid vague phrases and improve grammar (e.g., "advertisements" plural; "we can learn more about new products"). Use a linking word such as "because" or "so" to connect your reason.

示例: Yes, I like advertisements because they show new products and give me ideas about what is available. For example, ads helped me discover a new kitchen gadget that saved me time when cooking.

建议: Give a clear topic sentence naming 2–3 types you prefer, then briefly explain why you like each type with one specific detail. Avoid repetition and incorrect word order (say "technical advertisements" or "ads about new technology").

示例: I prefer fashion advertisements and ads about new technology. Fashion ads inspire me with styling ideas, while technology ads help me learn about useful gadgets and innovations.

建议: Answer directly, then give a specific example of where or how often you see ads. Mention personalization (targeted ads) with clear phrasing and avoid repeating "yes." Use linking words like "because" or "for example."

示例: Yes, I often see advertisements when I use social media and browse the web. For example, after I search for running shoes online, I start seeing sponsored posts and banner ads for shoe brands on my phone.

× I really don't remember about the advertisement during my childhood, but really I remember one of the advertisement from India on umm on a washer flute.

✓ I really don't remember advertisements from my childhood, but I do remember one advertisement from India about a washer flute.

Incorrect use of the definite/indefinite article and count nouns: 'the advertisement' and 'one of the advertisement' are incorrect. Use the plural 'advertisements' for general reference and 'one advertisement' for a single item. Also replace 'remember about' with 'remember' and simplify filler words.

× There was really in a day made that advertisement in a really different way.

✓ That advertisement was made in a very different way.

Awkward word order and unnecessary words: the original sentence has incorrect structure and misplaced time phrase 'in a day'. Reorder to passive 'was made' and use 'in a very different way' to express manner.

× So I love that.

✓ So I loved it.

Tense mismatch: the speaker refers to a past advertisement, so use past tense 'loved' instead of present 'love'. Also change 'that' to pronoun 'it' for natural reference.

× Yes, whenever I'm going to my work, I do see a lot of advertisement on the bus stops as well on the buses, public buses and trains.

✓ Yes, whenever I'm going to work, I see a lot of advertisements at bus stops and on public buses and trains.

Count noun/plural errors and preposition choice: use plural 'advertisements' for multiple items; 'going to work' is the idiomatic phrase; use 'at bus stops' and 'on buses and trains' for correct prepositions; remove redundant 'public'.

× I do like advertisement because with advertisement more of the variety comes through the market and we can learn on more about the things, the new things that came to us.

✓ I do like advertisements because they bring more variety to the market and we can learn more about new products that come out.

Article and count noun misuse: use plural 'advertisements' and a pronoun 'they' for clarity. 'More of the variety comes through the market' is unnatural; use 'bring more variety to the market'. Remove incorrect preposition 'learn on' and use 'learn more about'.

× I like all kind of advertisements such as the fashion advertisement and the technical and new innovation technical advertisements.

✓ I like all kinds of advertisements, such as fashion advertisements and technical or innovative product advertisements.

Number agreement and repetitive phrasing: 'all kind' should be 'all kinds'. Use plural forms 'advertisements'. Avoid repeating 'technical' and clarify 'innovative product advertisements'.

× Yes, whenever I'm using my social media, I often see advertisement about the things that I try to search on Internet.

✓ Yes, whenever I'm using social media, I often see advertisements about things I try to search for on the Internet.

Plural and article errors: use plural 'advertisements'. Omit 'my' for the idiomatic 'using social media'. Add preposition 'for' after 'search' and include the article 'the' before 'Internet'.