广告— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 문장 구조와 문법 오류를 줄이고, 질문에 더 직접적으로 답하면서 구체적 세부사항(광고의 내용, 왜 인상적이었는지, 결과)을 포함하세요. 접속사와 시제 일치를 신경쓰고 문장 길이는 3~4문장으로 자연스럽게 유지하세요. 예: 도입 문장(직접 답변) → 광고 설명 → 이유 → 결과 순.

示例: Yes. When I was a child I vividly remember a snack commercial I saw on TV about ten years ago. The ad showed a family happily sharing colorful, crunchy chips, which made the snack look irresistible. Because of the cheerful music and bright visuals, I felt I had to try it, so I asked my parents to buy it at the market.

建议: 반복되는 표현과 어색한 표현을 피하고 명확한 이유와 예시를 제시하세요. '때때로', '주로', '특히' 같은 연결어를 사용해 문장을 자연스럽게 연결하고, 중복된 단어를 제거하세요.

示例: Yes, I often notice many advertisements on the subway, especially for smartphones and smartwatches. These ads are eye-catching with large images and short slogans, so they sometimes make me consider buying new devices. For example, a recent poster showing a phone's camera features made me research that model later.

建议: 답변이 모호하고 문법적으로 불완전합니다. 명확한 의견(좋아하는지/싫어하는지)을 먼저 제시하고, 이유와 구체적 예를 덧붙이세요. 불필요한 말(uh, you can make)을 제거하고 간결하게 표현하세요.

示例: Yes, I do, but only sometimes. Advertisements help me compare products and learn about new features, so they are useful when I want to buy a phone. For instance, a video ad showing a smartphone's battery life convinced me to choose that model.

建议: 문장을 더 논리적으로 구성하고, 구체적인 종류(예: 스토리텔링 광고, 감성 광고)를 명시하세요. 비교나 이유를 제시할 때 연결어를 사용해 흐름을 매끄럽게 하세요.

示例: I prefer film-style advertisements because they tell a short story and are more memorable. The narrative and emotions they evoke make the product stand out, and their colorful visuals keep my attention. For example, a two-minute ad that showed how a product improved someone's life stayed with me for weeks.

建议: 더 자연스럽게 말하려면 플랫폼 이름과 광고 형식을 구체적으로 말하고, 빈도와 영향(예: 방해되는 정도, 유용성)을 덧붙이세요. 문법적 오류(enter→open, sell about→ads about)를 고치세요.

示例: Yes, I see a lot of ads when I use apps like Facebook and Instagram. Many of them promote smartphones, apps, or services, and they appear as short videos or sponsored posts. Sometimes they are useful for discovering new apps, but often they interrupt what I'm doing.

× Of course, about 10 years ago, I could watch a TV advertisements.

✓ Of course, about 10 years ago, I could watch TV advertisements.

The article 'a' is incorrect before the plural noun 'advertisements'. Remove 'a' to match plural form. Use 'TV advertisements' without 'a'.

× There's stories like the snacks advertisements such as.

✓ There were stories in snacks advertisements, for example.

Tense and structure: 'There's' (there is) is singular and present, but context refers to the past, so 'there were' is correct. The phrase 'advertisements such as' is incomplete; rephrase to 'in snacks advertisements, for example' to be clear and grammatical.

× So it's very impressive to me because it looks like very delicious.

✓ So it was very impressive to me because it looked very delicious.

Tense should be past ('was' and 'looked') to match 'about 10 years ago'. Also 'looked' describes appearance; do not use 'like' before 'very delicious'. Use adverb 'very' before adjective 'delicious'.

× So I went to a market and I bought it.

✓ So I went to the market and bought it.

Use definite article 'the' because a specific product and place are implied. Also combine clauses and omit repeated subject 'I' for natural phrasing.

× Of course, sometimes I can watch many advertisements such as smartphone advertisements and smartwatch when I take in a subway.

✓ Of course, sometimes I see many advertisements, such as for smartphones and smartwatches, when I take the subway.

Use past/simple present 'see' (ability 'can watch' is unnatural here). 'There be' not used; correct structure: 'I see many advertisements, such as for smartphones and smartwatches, when I take the subway.' Use plural forms and articles: 'the subway'.

× So sometimes it can it can impressive to me because it's really open mind to buy some new devices.

✓ So sometimes they can be impressive to me because they really open my mind to buy new devices.

Pronoun reference and verb forms: 'it' should be 'they' referring to advertisements (plural). Use 'can be impressive' and 'open my mind' with possessive pronoun 'my'. Remove duplicate 'it can'.

× It's very impressive.

✓ They are very impressive.

Ensure subject-pronoun agreement: if referring to advertisements (plural), use 'they are' not 'it is'.

× Uh, yes, sometimes because it's more helpful to decision decides this is to something such as when I want to buy new devices, the advertisement can help me to buy some new smartphones such as iPhone so you can make.

✓ Yes. Sometimes advertisements are helpful when I decide to buy new devices; they can help me choose new smartphones, such as an iPhone.

Original sentence is ungrammatical and confusing. Simplify into clear clauses: 'Sometimes advertisements are helpful when I decide to buy new devices; they can help me choose new smartphones, such as an iPhone.' Use 'decide' (verb) instead of 'decision decides', and 'help me choose' instead of 'help me to buy ... so you can make'.

× I love to watch films like advertisement because it's one of the most noticeable to many people, so it can't very impressive in my mind, so I love to see the other side.

✓ I love to watch film-like advertisements because they are very noticeable to many people, so they leave a strong impression on me and I enjoy seeing different styles.

Agreement and word choice: 'films like advertisement' should be 'film-like advertisements'. Use plural pronouns 'they' and correct idiom 'leave a strong impression'. 'Can't very impressive' is ungrammatical; replace with 'leave a strong impression'.

× Sometimes it can more wonderful and very colorful, so I love it.

✓ Sometimes they can be more wonderful and very colorful, so I love them.

Pronoun and verb agreement: refer to advertisements (plural) with 'they' and 'them'. Use 'can be more wonderful' with 'be'.

× Of course, when I enter my application such as Facebook or Instagram, I can see many other advertisements such as sell about smartphone or smart application.

✓ Of course, when I open apps like Facebook or Instagram, I can see many advertisements selling smartphones or smart apps.

Use 'open apps' rather than 'enter my application'. Use gerund 'selling' to describe purpose of advertisements and correct noun forms 'smartphones' and 'smart apps'.

× So I can see many applications advertisements in there.

✓ So I can see many app advertisements there.

'Applications advertisements' is awkward; use 'app advertisements'. 'In there' is unnecessary; place adverb 'there' after object. Use concise phrasing.