广告— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be clearer and more coherent: start with a direct topic sentence, correct grammar (tense and pronouns), organize details with linking words, and be specific about why it impressed you. Keep to at most 4–5 sentences.

示例: When I was a child, a jelly commercial impressed me. It showed a girl imagining she became an astronaut and traveling to outer space, which was very creative. My favourite scene was when her grandmother encouraged her to explore, because it made the ad feel warm and inspirational. That combination of fantasy and family is why I remember it so clearly.

建议: Make your answer more concise and use precise vocabulary. Use linking words to group examples and avoid repetition (e.g., don’t repeat 'medical' twice). Provide 2–3 specific categories and one brief comment on placement or effect.

示例: Yes, I see many advertisements on trains and subways. They often promote food, healthcare products, and entertainment like blind-box toys. Overall, transport advertising is common because it reaches many commuters during their journeys.

建议: Soften absolute language and organize ideas: give a brief topic sentence stating your general view, then contrast with an example using a linking word (e.g., 'however'). Correct small grammar issues and avoid repeating 'advertisement'.

示例: I don't like most advertisements because they often feel intrusive. However, I appreciate creative campaigns, such as recent iPhone ads, which have strong design and storytelling. In contrast, many ads simply list benefits and ignore drawbacks, which makes them less convincing.

建议: Respond directly with a clear topic sentence and give specific characteristics you like (e.g., creativity, storytelling, high production value). Use linking words and correct grammar (singular/plural, articles).

示例: I prefer creative, high-quality advertisements that tell a story. For example, luxury brand ads or iPhone commercials often use strong visuals and music to create an emotional impact. Because of that production quality and storytelling, those ads feel enjoyable rather than annoying.

建议: Be more precise and natural: start with a topic sentence, use a clear example with linking words, and correct grammar (e.g., 'makes me angry' not 'let me angry'). Mention frequency and effect briefly.

示例: Yes, I often see ads on my phone and computer. For instance, when I watch a TV drama without a subscription, ads frequently pop up and interrupt the most exciting scenes, which makes me really angry. Because of these interruptions, I sometimes choose to pay for membership to avoid them.

× Yes, when I was a child, a Jelly advertisement really left me a deep impression.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, a jelly advertisement really left a deep impression on me.

Pronoun/object placement and article use: 'left me a deep impression' is a less natural order in English; the common phrasing is 'left a deep impression on me'. Also 'Jelly' as a common noun should be lowercase unless it is a brand name. Suggestion: use 'left a deep impression on me' for natural phrasing.

× It talked about that a child went to the outer space and she became a astronaut and her grandma gave me the journey to praise her, which was very funny.

✓ It showed a child going into outer space; she became an astronaut and her grandmother praised her for the journey, which was very funny.

Multiple pronoun and word-choice problems: 'talked about that' is awkward; 'showed' or 'was about' is better. 'the outer space' should be 'outer space' (no definite article). 'a astronaut' needs 'an astronaut' (vowel sound). 'her grandma gave me the journey to praise her' is confusing and uses incorrect pronouns and verbs; likely intended meaning is 'her grandmother praised her for the journey.' Suggestion: rewrite sentences to clarify subject and pronouns and use correct articles.

× Yes, in trains, bars or subway there are a lot of advertisements including different contents like the medical, medical care or the blind box or some other thing like the food and so on.

✓ Yes, on trains, in bars or in the subway there are a lot of advertisements covering different things like medicine, medical care, blind boxes or food.

Preposition use: use 'on trains' and 'in the subway'/'in bars'. Word choice: 'contents' is unnatural here—use 'things' or 'categories'. 'the medical' is incorrect; use 'medicine' or 'medical services'. 'blind box' plural 'blind boxes'. Suggestion: choose correct prepositions ('on' for trains, 'in' for bars/subway) and use clearer nouns.

× Yes, in trains, bars or subway there are a lot of advertisements including different contents like the medical, medical care or the blind box or some other thing like the food and so on.

✓ Yes, on trains, in bars or in the subway there are a lot of advertisements covering different things like medicine, medical care, blind boxes or food.

Quantifier and list issues: 'a lot of advertisements including different contents like...' is wordy and repetitive. Use 'covering different things like...' or 'including medicine, medical care, blind boxes and food.' Suggestion: simplify lists and use plural forms where appropriate.

× Not at all. I really enjoy some creative advertisement like the advertisement of iPhone.

✓ Not at all. I really enjoy some creative advertisements, like the iPhone advertisements.

Number agreement and natural expression: 'some creative advertisement' is incorrect because 'some' requires plural noun 'advertisements'. Also 'the advertisement of iPhone' is awkward; use 'iPhone advertisements' or 'the iPhone advertisement.' Suggestion: use plural with 'some' and a natural noun phrase.

× The design of it was very brilliant.

✓ Its design was brilliant.

Word order and redundancy: 'The design of it was very brilliant' is wordy. 'Very brilliant' is also redundant; 'brilliant' alone is sufficient. Suggestion: use possessive 'its' and avoid unnecessary intensifiers.

× But for most of the advertisements I find it intrusive because it only says the advantages of the products but neglect the disadvantage.

✓ But for most advertisements I find them intrusive because they only mention the advantages of the products and neglect the disadvantages.

Pronoun and number agreement: 'for most of the advertisements I find it intrusive' uses 'it' which does not agree with plural 'advertisements'; use 'them'. Also 'neglect the disadvantage' should be plural 'disadvantages' to match 'advantages'. Suggestion: ensure pronouns agree in number with their antecedents and match plural/singular forms.

× Actually, they are not a very specific type of advertisement that really let me enjoy.

✓ Actually, there is not a very specific type of advertisement that really makes me enjoy them.

Pronoun/reference and verb choice: 'they are not a very specific type' mixes plural 'they' with 'type' (singular). Better: 'there is not a specific type of advertisement that really I enjoy' or 'I don't have a specific type of advertisement that I really enjoy.' Also 'let me enjoy' is unnatural; use 'make me enjoy' or 'that I enjoy.' Suggestion: keep subject and verb number consistent and use natural verbs for liking/enjoying.

× I like watching some creative advertisements like advertisement of iPhone or some luxuries which is very high quality.

✓ I like watching creative advertisements, like iPhone ads or ads for luxury products, which are very high quality.

Number agreement and noun forms: 'advertisement of iPhone' should be 'iPhone ads' or 'the iPhone advertisement.' 'Some luxuries which is very high quality' mixes plural 'luxuries' with singular 'is'; use 'which are very high quality.' Suggestion: match number between subject and verb and use natural noun phrases.

× Yes. For example, when I watch a TV drama, if I don't have the membership, sometimes the advertisement will suddenly pop out.

✓ Yes. For example, when I watch a TV drama, if I don't have a membership, sometimes advertisements suddenly pop up.

Article and verb choice: 'the membership' is unnatural; use 'a membership' or 'a subscription.' 'the advertisement will suddenly pop out' is awkward; use 'advertisements suddenly pop up.' Suggestion: use 'a membership/subscription' and the common phrasal verb 'pop up' for online ads.

× It really let me angry because maybe I watch the most thrilling part of the TV drama.

✓ It really makes me angry because maybe I am watching the most thrilling part of the TV drama.

Verb and pronoun usage: 'let me angry' is incorrect; use 'makes me angry.' Tense/aspect: 'maybe I watch' should be progressive 'maybe I am watching' to indicate an action in progress interrupted by an ad. Suggestion: use 'make' for causing emotions and the present continuous for ongoing actions.