电脑— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Try to make your answer more natural and concise. Avoid repeating phrases like 'all of this research' twice. Also, clarify your subject to avoid confusion, for example, say 'my major is political science' instead of 'my measure is political science'. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

示例: I use a computer mainly for my research because my major is political science, which requires extensive study. Therefore, I often use Microsoft Word to write and organize my research papers.

建议: Focus on grammatical accuracy and clarity. Avoid fragmented sentences and unclear words like 'fasten'. Use linking words to connect your ideas and be specific about your experience.

示例: I first used a computer when I was a child to play games. I still enjoy gaming because I find computer games very fascinating and entertaining.

建议: Try to avoid repetition and improve sentence structure. Use linking words to make your answer coherent. Be more specific about how your life would change without a computer.

示例: Without a computer, my life would be quite boring because I rely on it for many activities. However, I would depend more on my mobile phone since I love technology and it can perform many similar functions.

建议: Improve fluency by avoiding hesitations and repeated words. Use linking words to connect your ideas clearly. Also, be more specific about the conditions that would make computer use difficult.

示例: It would be difficult for me to use a computer if I had eye problems or discomfort. Otherwise, I have found using computers easy since I was young.

× a political science requires a lot of research

✓ political science requires a lot of research

The article 'a' is incorrectly used before 'political science' which is an uncountable noun here. We should say 'political science requires' without 'a'.

× When I was younger, I have used to play games on my computer.

✓ When I was younger, I used to play games on my computer.

The phrase 'have used to' is incorrect. The correct past tense expression is 'used to' to indicate a habitual action in the past.

× I still love to do this until now.

✓ I still love to do this even now.

The preposition 'until' is not appropriate here. 'Even now' better expresses the ongoing action up to the present.

× Becauses a I'm a gamer and.

✓ Because I'm a gamer,

The sentence is incomplete and contains a typo 'Becauses a'. It should be corrected to 'Because I'm a gamer,' to form a proper clause.

× I find the games on computers fasten are fascinating.

✓ I find the games on computers fast and fascinating.

The word 'fasten' is incorrect here; it should be 'fast'. Also, adjectives should be properly ordered and connected with 'and'.

× as I mentioned the I love computers so much

✓ as I mentioned, I love computers so much

The definite article 'the' is incorrectly placed before 'I'. It should be removed for correct grammar.

× but I will depend a lot on my mobile phone.

✓ but I will depend a lot on my mobile phone.

No correction needed here; sentence is correct.

× In general, I love the I love technology,

✓ In general, I love technology,

The phrase 'I love the I love technology' is incorrect and redundant. Removing the extra 'the I love' corrects the sentence.

× so I think mobile phone would be the second choice if computers disappeared.

✓ so I think the mobile phone would be the second choice if computers disappeared.

The singular noun 'mobile phone' needs the definite article 'the' to specify it as a particular choice.

× I haven't faced any problems with. Using a computer since I was younger

✓ I haven't faced any problems with using a computer since I was younger

The period after 'with' is incorrect and breaks the sentence. It should be removed to connect the phrase properly.