老师— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 話の構成を明確にし、自然な表現と文法を使うことが必要です。まず主題文（誰が好きか）をはっきり述べ、その後で理由や具体例を1～2文で補足しましょう。冗長な語や不自然な語順（例："he told me"の多用、"By having a extra lesson after school"など）を避け、時制と冠詞、前置詞の使い方を確認してください。接続詞（because, so, for example）を使って論理的に展開すると良いです。

示例: My favourite teacher was my junior high school Japanese history teacher. He taught me for three years and helped me understand topics I found difficult by giving extra lessons after school. Because he explained events clearly and used many examples, I gradually became more interested in history.

建议: 文法と語順の改善が必要です。質問には現在の状況を簡潔に答え、その後で過去の経緯と理由を1～2文で説明しましょう。不自然な単語（"Intensity"）や冗長表現を避け、適切な前置詞（"in touch with"）や時制（過去形と現在形の混同を避ける）を使ってください。感情を示す表現（I regret...）は有効ですが、理由を明確に述べると説得力が上がります。

示例: No, I'm not. I was in touch with some of my primary school teachers until I graduated from junior high, but after I moved back to my parents' house and started university I gradually lost contact. I regret this because they were important mentors when I was younger.

建议: より自然で論理的な説明が必要です。まず主題文でどう助けてくれたかを述べ、その後具体的な方法と結果を述べましょう。文法ミス（"helped me hard extra lessons"や"could not understand free the subjects"）を直し、原因と結果を示す接続語（because, so, as a result）を使ってください。具体例は良いので、もっと明確に結果（どれくらい成績が上がったか）を示すと良いです。

示例: He helped me by giving extra lessons after school because I couldn't understand some topics during regular classes. For example, he gave me practice questions and explained the answers in detail, so I was able to improve my grades significantly.

建议: 理由を簡潔に述べ、過去の経験を明確に説明することで説得力を高めましょう。文法の誤り（"couldn't gave" → "couldn't give"、"a good results" → "good results"）や不自然な語句（"crime school"はおそらく"cram school"）を訂正してください。結論は一文でまとめ、将来の可能性を完全に否定する代わりに条件や改善点を示すとより自然です。

示例: No, I don't think I want to be a teacher. During university I worked at a cram school for junior high students, but I struggled to teach effectively and the students did not improve much, which made me lose confidence. For now, I prefer a different career, although I might reconsider if I receive proper training.

× He told me for three years and especially he is our Japanese history teacher.

✓ He taught me for three years, and especially he was our Japanese history teacher.

'told' is incorrect here because describing a teacher's role and ongoing instruction uses 'teach' not 'tell'. The correct past form is 'taught'. Also tense consistency requires past tense 'was' for his role during that period. Suggestion: Use 'teach' for instructing and match past tense when referring to past periods.'

× By having a extra lesson after school.

✓ He gave extra lessons after school.

Sentence fragment and article misuse: 'a extra lesson' should be 'an extra lesson' but the phrase is a fragment starting with 'By' making it incomplete. It's clearer to make a full sentence 'He gave extra lessons after school.' Suggestion: Avoid sentence fragments; ensure complete subject and verb and use 'an' before vowel sounds.'

× Are you still in touch with your primary school teacher?

✓ Were you still in touch with your primary school teachers?

Context refers to past relationship after graduating junior high, so past tense 'were' fits better than present 'are'. Also student later refers to 'some primary school teachers' (plural), so make question plural for consistency. Suggestion: Match tense and number to context; use 'were' for past situations.'

× No, actually by the time I graduated junior high school I kept in touch with some primary school teachers, but after that I lost connections between my teachers and me because I moved to my parents house and I started university studies.

✓ No. Actually, until I graduated from junior high school I kept in touch with some primary school teachers, but after that I lost contact with them because I moved to my parents' house and started university.

Several issues: 'by the time' is awkward here; 'until' or 'up to' better fits. Use 'graduated from' for school. 'Lost connections between my teachers and me' is unnatural; 'lost contact with them' is idiomatic. Possessive 'parents house' needs apostrophe: 'parents' house'. 'I started university studies' is wordy; 'started university' is natural. Suggestion: Use idiomatic phrases for contact and correct possessive forms.'

× I regret losing the opportunities to contact with the primary school teachers.

✓ I regret losing the opportunities to contact the primary school teachers.

Do not use 'contact with' after 'opportunities to contact'; the verb 'contact' takes a direct object here. Alternatively say 'to be in contact with'. Suggestion: Use 'contact' + object or 'be in contact with'.'

× My favorite teacher helped me hard extra lessons after school because I could not understand free the subjects during lessons.

✓ My favorite teacher helped me by giving extra lessons after school because I could not understand the subjects during class.

Unnatural word order and wrong words: 'helped me hard extra lessons' is incorrect; use 'helped me by giving extra lessons'. 'Understand free the subjects' contains 'free' incorrectly; should be 'understand the subjects' and 'during lessons' -> 'during class'. Suggestion: Use 'helped me by + -ing' to explain how someone helped and keep noun order natural.'

× For example, my teacher gave me some questions about the lessons after school and then I could get. Higher grades after these lessons.

✓ For example, my teacher gave me some exercises after school and then I could get higher grades after these lessons.

Split sentence and punctuation error: period after 'get' breaks sentence. 'Questions about the lessons' is okay but 'exercises' is more natural. Keep 'get higher grades' together. Suggestion: Avoid unnecessary sentence breaks and choose more natural nouns like 'exercises' or 'problems'.'

× Well, personally, I do not like to be a teacher in the future because I'm not confident of teaching children.

✓ Well, personally, I do not want to be a teacher in the future because I'm not confident about teaching children.

'Like to be' is understandable but 'want to be' is more natural for future intention. 'Confident of teaching' should be 'confident about teaching' or 'confident in teaching'. Suggestion: Use 'want to' for future desires and 'confident about/in' for confidence expressions.'

× For example, when I was a university student, I worked in a crime school for junior high school students.

✓ For example, when I was a university student, I worked in a cram school for junior high school students.

Likely typo: 'crime school' should be 'cram school' (a tutoring school). Keep past tense 'worked' is correct. Suggestion: Check for incorrect words that change meaning entirely; use 'cram school' if referring to extra tutoring.'

× However, I couldn't gave good lessons to the children and the students could not get a good results.

✓ However, I couldn't give good lessons to the children and the students could not get good results.

Modal + base verb: after 'couldn't' use base form 'give' not past 'gave'. 'A good results' mixes singular article with plural noun; use 'good results' without 'a'. Suggestion: After modal verbs (can/could/must) use base verb; match articles to noun number.'

× So I lost my confidence and I believe that I cannot be a good teacher.

✓ So I lost my confidence and I believe that I cannot be a good teacher.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable but tense consistency note: 'lost' is past and 'believe' is present—this is okay because belief is current. No correction needed. Suggestion: None; maintain present belief about current ability.'