老师— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 你的回答中有一些信息不准确，比如老师不可能只有13岁，且表达有些重复和不自然。建议你直接回答问题，避免冗余，并且用更准确和自然的表达。

示例: Yes, I have a favourite teacher. She was my Chinese teacher in my final year of high school. She is very kind and patient, and she always encouraged me to do my best.

建议: 回答中有语法错误和表达不自然的地方，比如“it's so pity”应为“it's a pity”，建议使用更准确的表达，并且用连接词使句子更连贯。

示例: No, unfortunately, I am not still in touch with my primary school teacher. After the university entrance examination, we lost contact, but we exchanged a final message last month.

建议: 回答中有语法错误和表达不清楚的问题，建议使用正确的句型和连接词，使表达更自然和连贯。

示例: When I get high marks, my teacher advises me not to be too proud. On the other hand, if I get low marks, she encourages me not to be discouraged.

建议: 回答表达了情感，但有些重复和不自然的地方。建议用更正式和连贯的语言表达你的愿望和原因。

示例: Yes, I want to be a teacher in the future because I admire my own teacher. I hope to share her kindness and passion with my students and inspire them to learn and grow.

× She is so kind, peaceful and heartwarming.

✓ She is so kind, peaceful, and heartwarming.

In English, when listing three or more adjectives, commas should be used to separate them, including a comma before the conjunction 'and' (Oxford comma) to improve clarity.

× Each time I get a high, high point.

✓ Each time I get a high score.

The phrase 'high, high point' is awkward and incorrect. 'High score' is a more natural and grammatically correct expression to indicate good marks or points.

× No, it's so pity.

✓ No, it's such a pity.

The phrase 'so pity' is incorrect. The correct expression is 'such a pity' to express regret or sadness.

× After the university entrance examination, we just stop our connection.

✓ After the university entrance examination, we just stopped our connection.

The action happened in the past, so the past tense 'stopped' should be used instead of the present tense 'stop'.

× But last month we sent the final message to each other.

✓ But last month we sent final messages to each other.

The plural 'messages' is more appropriate here because 'each other' implies reciprocal communication, usually involving multiple messages.

× If I get high points she will tell me don't to be don't to be too proud,

✓ If I get high points, she will tell me not to be too proud,

The phrase 'don't to be don't to be' is incorrect. The correct form is 'not to be' after 'tell me' to express advice or instruction.

× and if I get low points she will tell me never to discourage.

✓ and if I get low points, she will tell me never to get discouraged.

The verb 'discourage' is transitive and needs an object. The correct expression is 'get discouraged' to mean feeling disheartened.

× Yeah, I wanna be a teacher in the future 'cause I want to be the one like my teacher.

✓ Yeah, I wanna be a teacher in the future because I want to be someone like my teacher.

The phrase 'the one like my teacher' is awkward. 'Someone like my teacher' is more natural and grammatically correct.

× I want to share her love to everybody, just my my students.

✓ I want to share her love with everybody, especially my students.

The verb 'share' is followed by 'with' to indicate the recipient. Also, 'just my my students' is repetitive and unclear; 'especially my students' is better.

× I want to teach each other and deliver this piece of heart to each one.

✓ I want to teach others and deliver this piece of my heart to each one.

'Teach each other' implies mutual teaching, which is not intended here. 'Teach others' is correct. Also, 'this piece of heart' should be 'this piece of my heart' to indicate possession.