网络— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be direct and clear: start with a concise topic sentence stating when you began using the internet, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Reduce hesitation words and correct grammar (past tense consistency).

示例: I started using the internet right after I finished secondary school. My parents bought me my first smartphone, so I began accessing the internet mainly for learning and keeping in touch with friends.

建议: Answer directly with a clear frequency phrase, then give specific reasons using linking words (for example, because / also). Avoid repetition and improve grammar (subject-verb agreement, clearer nouns).

示例: I go online several times a day. For example, I use it to keep in touch with friends, attend online meetings and study for my final exams through online courses.

建议: Start with a clear topic sentence saying whether you were restricted, then give a specific example and explain why you persuaded them using linking words (because / so). Use correct verb forms and reduce filler words.

示例: Yes, when I was younger my parents limited my internet use. However, I convinced them to allow more access because I needed it for schoolwork and online courses, which helped improve my study skills.

建议: Give a direct opinion and quantify it clearly if possible, then explain with specific habits or measures you take. Avoid unclear numbers and hesitation. Use linking words to structure the reply.

示例: Yes, I probably spend too much time online — almost all day on some days. To manage this, I try not to check my phone in the morning and set specific study periods without internet.

建议: Begin with a clear hypothetical statement about life without the internet, then give two concrete activities or effects using linking words (for example, I would… / therefore…). Avoid trailing off and complete your sentences. Use specific alternatives to online activities.

示例: If I had no internet, I would spend more time studying with books and meeting friends in person. Therefore, I would join local study groups and develop hobbies like reading or exercising to replace online activities.

× Well, actually I started using Internet years ago when I was done in secondary school, uh, my, uh, parents, uh, purchased mobile phone, uh, for me.

✓ Well, actually I started using the internet years ago when I finished secondary school; my parents purchased a mobile phone for me.

The sentence uses 'was done in secondary school' which is incorrect; use past simple 'finished' to indicate completion. Also 'Internet' should be lowercase 'internet' and 'purchased mobile phone' needs an article 'a mobile phone'. Use past simple consistently for completed actions in the past.

× So that's why I start using Internet very, umm, hardly.

✓ So that's why I started using the internet very rarely.

The speaker mixes present 'start' with past context; use past 'started'. 'Hardly' is used incorrectly here; 'rarely' or 'seldom' is the correct adverb for infrequent use. Also 'Internet' should be lowercase.

× And, uh, it was so useful, uh, items for me.

✓ And it was a very useful tool for me.

'Useful' should modify a singular noun; 'items' is inappropriate. Use 'tool' or 'resource' and include an article 'a'. 'So useful' is colloquial; 'very useful' is clearer.

× Uh, I would say very frequently because I have all my friends on online meeting online jobs, so that's why I go, umm, frequently online.

✓ I would say very frequently because I have all my friends on online platforms and I have online meetings and online jobs, so I go online often.

Prepositions and word choices are incorrect: 'on online meeting' should be 'have online meetings' or 'on online platforms'. Repeating 'online' should be organized; 'go online often' is natural. Ensure plural nouns with 'meetings' and correct articles.

× Uh, also I have online courses now because I'm in the final school student, so I am preparing for my all.

✓ Also, I have online courses now because I'm a final-year student, so I am preparing for my exams.

'In the final school student' is ungrammatical; use 'a final-year student'. 'Preparing for my all' is unclear; likely 'preparing for my exams'. Maintain present continuous 'am preparing' for current actions.

× I can't recall exactly, but I remember one thing that my parents, uh, didn't allow me use Internet very frequently, but I persuaded them to.

✓ I can't recall exactly, but I remember that my parents didn't allow me to use the internet very frequently, but I persuaded them to let me.

Missing 'to' after 'allow me' is incorrect; use 'allow me to use'. Also 'let me' clarifies persuasion. 'Internet' should be lowercase.

× I have to work, I have to study. It's, uh, helps me with my educational and uh, develop my enthusiasm, my studying skills.

✓ I have to work, I have to study. It helps me with my education and develops my enthusiasm and study skills.

'It's helps' is wrong; use 'It helps'. 'Educational' should be noun 'education'. 'Develop my enthusiasm, my studying skills' should be 'develops my enthusiasm and study skills' with subject-verb agreement.

× Yes, I do probably I spend much time online like 20-4 and seven uh, I in the morning I try to not uh, umm. Not use my mobile phone in the morning.

✓ Yes, I do. I probably spend a lot of time online, like 24/7. In the morning I try not to use my mobile phone.

'Spend much time' is unidiomatic; use 'spend a lot of time'. '20-4 and seven' should be '24/7'. Remove redundant fragments and correct infinitive placement: 'try not to use'.

× Umm, that's interesting, but I couldn't imagine my life without social media or active Internet because of even though my parents uh, didn't allow me, I still carry on use Internet.

✓ That's interesting, but I can't imagine my life without social media or the internet because even though my parents didn't allow me, I still continued to use the internet.

Mix of tenses: 'couldn't imagine' implies past; context suggests present so use 'can't imagine'. 'Carry on use Internet' is incorrect; use 'continued to use the internet'. Add 'the' before 'internet' and fix word order.

× Uh, but if I umm, hadn't any chance to use Internet, I would.

✓ But if I didn't have any chance to use the internet, I would be very unhappy.

'Hadn't any chance' is nonstandard; use 'didn't have any chance'. The sentence is incomplete 'I would' needs a result clause. Add a realistic result ('be very unhappy'). Use 'the internet'.