网络— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Try to use correct tense and grammar, and avoid redundancy. For example, use 'I have been using the Internet since I was young because we had a computer at home with Internet access. I often played on that computer and have used the Internet ever since.'

示例: I have been using the Internet since I was young because we had a computer at home with Internet access. I often played on that computer and have used the Internet ever since.

建议: Improve grammar and clarity by using correct verb forms and linking words. For example, say 'I am online almost all the time nowadays because whenever someone writes me a message, I get a notification and can reply immediately. Therefore, I am online very often.'

示例: I am online almost all the time nowadays because whenever someone writes me a message, I get a notification and can reply immediately. Therefore, I am online very often.

建议: Use past tense correctly and avoid vague expressions. Also, connect ideas smoothly. For example, 'Yes, when I was a child, I wanted to stay up late to use the Internet, but my parents were furious and told me I had to go to bed.'

示例: Yes, when I was a child, I wanted to stay up late to use the Internet, but my parents were furious and told me I had to go to bed.

建议: Avoid sentence fragments and improve coherence by using linking words. For example, 'Yes, I think I spend too much time online because everything is on social media. To stay up to date and in trend, I have to check social media frequently.'

示例: Yes, I think I spend too much time online because everything is on social media. To stay up to date and in trend, I have to check social media frequently.

建议: Use correct verb forms and add linking words for clarity. For example, 'Without the Internet, I would probably sleep more or go out with my friends or girlfriend because I wouldn't know what else to do.'

示例: Without the Internet, I would probably sleep more or go out with my friends or girlfriend because I wouldn't know what else to do.

× I started using the Internet since I was young because in our house we have the computer with access to the Internet.

✓ I have been using the Internet since I was young because in our house we have a computer with access to the Internet.

The phrase 'started using the Internet since' is incorrect because 'since' requires the present perfect tense to indicate an action that began in the past and continues to the present. Therefore, 'have been using' is appropriate here.

× So I always play that computer and using the Internet since then.

✓ So I have always played on that computer and used the Internet since then.

The verb 'play' should be followed by the preposition 'on' when referring to using a computer. Also, 'using' should be in past tense to match the time frame, and 'have always played' fits the ongoing action from past to present.

× if someone write the message to me it will give me the notification so I can reply them back.

✓ if someone writes a message to me, it will give me a notification so I can reply to them.

The verb 'write' must agree with the singular subject 'someone', so it should be 'writes'. Also, 'reply' is followed by 'to' when referring to a person, and 'them back' is redundant; 'reply to them' is sufficient.

× So it mean I will be online every time.

✓ So it means I will be online all the time.

The verb 'mean' should be in third person singular form 'means' to agree with the subject 'it'. Also, 'every time' is better expressed as 'all the time' in this context.

× Yes, only when I was a kid and I always want to stay up late to play the Internet and my parents would be furious at me.

✓ Yes, only when I was a kid and I always wanted to stay up late to use the Internet, and my parents would be furious at me.

The verb 'want' should be in past tense 'wanted' to match the past time frame. Also, 'play the Internet' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'use the Internet'.

× And he said to me that I have to go to bed now.

✓ And they told me that I had to go to bed then.

The pronoun 'he' is unclear; 'they' is more appropriate if referring to parents. Also, 'have to' should be in past tense 'had to' to match the past narrative, and 'now' should be 'then' to reflect past time.

× Now that everything is in the social media.

✓ Now that everything is on social media.

The correct preposition with 'social media' is 'on', not 'in'.

× So if you want to stay up to date and in trend, you have to always check this social media.

✓ So if you want to stay up to date and in trend, you have to always check social media.

'This social media' is incorrect because 'social media' is uncountable and general here; no article or demonstrative is needed.

× Without the Internet probably I will sleep a lot or going out with my friend or my girlfriend because if there is no Internet I don't know what else to do.

✓ Without the Internet, I would probably sleep a lot or go out with my friends or my girlfriend because if there were no Internet, I wouldn't know what else to do.

The verb forms should be consistent: 'go out' instead of 'going out'. Also, 'friend' should be plural 'friends' if referring generally. The conditional sentence requires 'would' and 'were' for hypothetical situations.