网络— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 回答は質問に直接答えていますが、文法の誤りや不自然な表現が見られます。例えば、「Since then I don't have my smartphone」は時制が合っていません。また、内容が少し冗長で、より簡潔に表現することが望ましいです。具体的な時期や理由を明確に述べ、文をつなぐ接続詞を使うと良いでしょう。

示例: I started using the internet when I was in junior high school because I didn't have a smartphone in elementary school. All my friends had smartphones, so I wanted one too.

建议: 回答は質問に答えていますが、文法の誤り（"more than once a hour"は"more than once an hour"が正しい）や不自然な表現があります。また、内容がやや単調なので、接続詞を使って文をつなげ、具体的な例を加えると良いでしょう。

示例: I go online more than once an hour because I need to check messages from my friends and family. Also, I use the internet to take courses by watching presentations.

建议: 回答は質問に答えていますが、文法の誤りや意味が伝わりにくい部分があります。例えば、「I can't use my phone in my room」は過去の話なので「couldn't」が適切です。また、内容が不明瞭なので、具体的にどのように制限されていたかを明確に述べると良いでしょう。

示例: Yes, when I was in junior high school, I wasn't allowed to use my phone in my room. I could only use headphones on the first floor, which helped me sleep better.

建议: 回答は質問に答えていますが、文法の誤りや不自然な表現が多く、意味が伝わりにくいです。例えば、「I addict the Internet」は「I am addicted to the Internet」が正しいです。また、内容が混乱しているので、理由を明確にし、簡潔に述べることが重要です。

示例: Yes, I think I spend too much time online because I am addicted to the internet. I use my smartphone to keep in touch with friends and play games.

建议: 回答は質問に答えていますが、文法の誤りや繰り返しが見られます。例えば、「I had played football for 12 years but nowadays I retired」は時制が混在しています。内容を整理し、接続詞を使って論理的に述べると良いでしょう。

示例: If I didn't have the internet, I would exercise more because I like football. I played football for 12 years but recently retired. Now, I enjoy working out at the gym, running, and playing football with my friends.

× I started using Internet when I was a junior high school student.

✓ I started using the Internet when I was a junior high school student.

'Internet' is a unique noun and requires the definite article 'the' before it.

× Since then I don't have my smartphone so that I couldn't use Internet when I was elementary school student.

✓ Since then I didn't have my smartphone so I couldn't use the Internet when I was an elementary school student.

The sentence mixes present tense 'don't have' with past context; it should be past tense 'didn't have'. Also, 'so that' is incorrect here; 'so' is appropriate. 'Internet' needs 'the'. 'Elementary school student' requires an article 'an'.

× All of my friends have their smartphone, so I want the smartphone as.

✓ All of my friends have their smartphones, so I want a smartphone too.

'Smartphone' should be plural 'smartphones' when referring to multiple friends. 'I want the smartphone as' is incorrect; 'I want a smartphone too' is clearer and grammatically correct.

× I go online more than once a hour because I have to check text message from my friends or my families.

✓ I go online more than once an hour because I have to check text messages from my friends or my family.

'Once a hour' should be 'once an hour' because 'hour' starts with a vowel sound. 'Text message' should be plural 'text messages' as multiple messages are implied. 'Families' should be singular 'family' when referring to one's own family.

× Also I'm using the Internet to take course like watching some presentations.

✓ Also, I'm using the Internet to take courses like watching some presentations.

'Course' should be plural 'courses' to match the context. The sentence structure is acceptable but adding a comma after 'Also' improves clarity.

× Yes, I remember when I was a junior high school student, I can't use my phone in my room, so I can use my headphone only in first floor.

✓ Yes, I remember when I was a junior high school student, I couldn't use my phone in my room, so I could use my headphones only on the first floor.

The modal verbs 'can't' and 'can' should be in past tense 'couldn't' and 'could' to match the past context. 'Headphone' should be plural 'headphones'. 'In first floor' should be 'on the first floor'.

× That's why the sleeping time might be reduced by using smartphone.

✓ That's why sleeping time might be reduced by using a smartphone.

'Sleeping time' does not need 'the'. 'Using smartphone' requires an article 'a smartphone'.

× Yes, either. Absolutely.

✓ Yes, me too. Absolutely.

'Either' is used in negative contexts; 'me too' is appropriate for affirmative agreement.

× I spent too much time online because I addict the Internet.

✓ I spend too much time online because I am addicted to the Internet.

'Spent' is past tense but the context suggests present tense 'spend'. 'Addict' is a noun; the verb form is 'am addicted to'.

× Without my smartphone I can't make a living because I have to get in touch with my friends and enjoy game of my smartphone.

✓ Without my smartphone, I can't live because I have to get in touch with my friends and enjoy games on my smartphone.

'Make a living' is usually used for earning money; 'can't live' fits better here. 'Enjoy game of my smartphone' should be 'enjoy games on my smartphone'.

× I had played football for 12 years but nowadays I retired.

✓ I played football for 12 years but nowadays I have retired.

'Had played' is past perfect and unnecessary here; simple past 'played' is correct. 'Nowadays' suggests present perfect 'have retired'.

× Also I retired.

✓ Also, I have retired.

Adding a comma after 'Also' improves clarity. 'I retired' should be 'I have retired' to match 'nowadays' context.