网络— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Jawaban Anda sudah cukup jelas, tetapi penggunaan kata-kata seperti 'absolutely, uh' dan struktur kalimat yang agak berbelit membuat jawaban terdengar kurang natural. Cobalah untuk membuat kalimat yang lebih sederhana dan langsung ke poin utama tanpa pengulangan kata yang tidak perlu.

示例: I started using the internet in 2009 when I was in elementary school. At that time, I used an application called Friendster to connect with my friends.

建议: Jawaban Anda kurang lengkap dan ada pengulangan kata yang membuatnya kurang efektif dan kurang natural. Cobalah untuk memberikan jawaban yang langsung dan lengkap dengan kalimat yang jelas dan terstruktur.

示例: I go online every day because nowadays, the internet is essential for work and communication. I often use WhatsApp and email to stay in touch with my colleagues.

建议: Jawaban Anda sudah cukup baik dengan memberikan alasan yang jelas. Namun, ada pengulangan kata dan beberapa kesalahan tata bahasa. Cobalah untuk menggunakan kalimat yang lebih singkat dan jelas serta hindari pengulangan.

示例: When I was in elementary school, my parents restricted my internet use on weekdays because I needed to focus on studying and doing homework.

建议: Jawaban Anda mengandung ide yang baik, tetapi kalimatnya agak berbelit dan ada pengulangan. Cobalah untuk menyampaikan pendapat Anda dengan kalimat yang lebih ringkas dan jelas, serta gunakan kosa kata yang tepat.

示例: Yes, I think I spend too much time online because nowadays, the internet is necessary for communication and work, so it's hard to avoid using it a lot.

建议: Jawaban Anda kurang jelas dan ada beberapa kalimat yang tidak lengkap atau kurang tepat. Cobalah untuk memberikan jawaban yang lebih terstruktur dan jelas dengan kalimat yang lengkap dan mudah dipahami.

示例: If I didn't have the internet, I would spend my holidays enjoying nature, like visiting beaches, mountains, and appreciating the sky without distractions.

× I absolutely, uh, remember the most when I'm using the Internet for the first time.

✓ I absolutely, uh, remember the most when I used the Internet for the first time.

The sentence refers to a past event, so the verb should be in the past tense, not the present participle form. Using 'used' correctly indicates a completed action in the past.

× I used the application called Friendsters to connect with my friends with.

✓ I used the application called Friendsters to connect with my friends.

The preposition 'with' at the end is redundant because 'connect with' already includes the preposition. Removing the extra 'with' makes the sentence grammatically correct.

× I believe in nowadays era everyone almost using the Internet most of their times because when we on on the work we have to connect with other colleagues with Internet via WhatsApp or e-mail and when we.

✓ I believe in nowadays era everyone almost uses the Internet most of their time because when we are at work we have to connect with other colleagues via the Internet using WhatsApp or e-mail.

The verb 'using' should be 'uses' to agree with the singular subject 'everyone' (third person singular). Also, 'most of their times' should be 'most of their time' as 'time' is uncountable here. The phrase 'when we on on the work' is incorrect; it should be 'when we are at work'. The preposition 'with' after 'colleagues' is unnecessary and removed.

× When, when I was in my elementary school uh, era, my parents restrict me to use the Internet during the weekdays, because in weekdays I have to learn, I have to do my homework, I have to study for the next exam.

✓ When I was in my elementary school era, my parents restricted me from using the Internet during the weekdays, because on weekdays I had to learn, do my homework, and study for the next exam.

The verb 'restrict' should be in past tense 'restricted' to match the past time frame. Also, 'restrict me to use' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'restricted me from using'. 'In weekdays' should be 'on weekdays' as 'on' is the correct preposition for days.

× So my parents strictly restricted me, uh.

✓ So my parents strictly restricted me, uh.

No modal verb error here; sentence is correct.

× Actually, yes. However, we have to connect to Internet all of the time.

✓ Actually, yes. However, we have to connect to the Internet all of the time.

The noun 'Internet' requires the definite article 'the' when referring to the global network. Omitting 'the' is incorrect.

× It's kind of common in nowadays era for the people to use Internet a lot, because if we want to connect with others, we have to also connect with the Internet.

✓ It's kind of common in the nowadays era for people to use the Internet a lot, because if we want to connect with others, we also have to connect to the Internet.

The phrase 'in nowadays era' should be 'in the nowadays era' to include the definite article. 'Use Internet' should be 'use the Internet'. Also, 'connect with the Internet' is better expressed as 'connect to the Internet'.

× OK, when I'm in holiday, sometime I'm trying to reconnect from the Internet.

✓ OK, when I'm on holiday, sometimes I try to disconnect from the Internet.

The phrase 'in holiday' should be 'on holiday' as the correct preposition for holidays is 'on'. 'Sometime' should be 'sometimes' to indicate frequency. 'Trying to reconnect from the Internet' is incorrect; likely the intended meaning is to disconnect or take a break from the Internet.

× Just seeing the view of the beaches and in the mountains and the sky.

✓ Just seeing the view of the beaches, the mountains, and the sky.

The preposition 'in' before 'the mountains' is unnecessary and incorrect here. The sentence lists views, so commas are appropriate without prepositions.

× Sometime it's not kind of boring things, it's rather it is.

✓ Sometimes it's not kind of boring; rather, it is enjoyable.

The word 'Sometime' should be 'Sometimes' to indicate frequency. The phrase 'not kind of boring things' is awkward; it should be 'not kind of boring'. The sentence is incomplete and unclear; adding 'rather, it is enjoyable' clarifies the intended meaning.