网络— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 回答中存在语法错误和表达不自然的问题，例如“gain new knowledge”应为“gaining new knowledge”，且句子较长且结构混乱。建议简化句子结构，使用更自然的表达方式。

示例: I started using the internet when I was in senior high school because many of my classmates were chatting online and learning new things. To keep up with them, my parents bought me a new phone.

建议: 回答中存在语法错误，如“make a online call”应为“make an online call”，且表达不够连贯。建议使用连接词使句子更流畅，并注意冠词使用。

示例: I usually go online only when I need to send messages or make an online call with my parents and friends. So, overall, I use the internet only in necessary situations.

建议: 回答中有语法错误和表达不清晰的问题，如“to March”不合适，且重复使用“and”。建议简化句子，避免重复，并清楚表达意思。

示例: Yes, I remember when I was preparing for the college entrance exam, I was not allowed to use the internet for a long time, especially to watch entertainment videos.

建议: 句子结构不清晰，表达含糊，如“I don't think I know the dangers”应为“I know the dangers”。建议调整句子结构，使表达更准确自然。

示例: No, I don't think I spend too much time online because I know the dangers of being addicted to social media. Therefore, I make a schedule to control how much time I use my phone each day.

建议: 回答中存在语法错误，如“to strength”应为“to strengthen”，且句子连接不够自然。建议使用连接词并注意动词形式。

示例: Without the internet, I would spend more time reading books that interest me or writing my own novels. If I have new ideas, I would also play games with my friends to strengthen our friendship.

× When I was a Senior High School student at that time, most of my classmates were chatting on the Internet and gain new knowledge, so I want to keep up with them and my parents bought me a new phone.

✓ When I was a Senior High School student at that time, most of my classmates were chatting on the Internet and gaining new knowledge, so I wanted to keep up with them and my parents bought me a new phone.

句中 'gain' 应使用过去进行时的动名词形式 'gaining'，因为前面用了过去进行时 'were chatting'，动作同时发生。'want' 应改为过去式 'wanted'，因为整个句子描述的是过去的情况。

× I only use Internet when I want to send messages or make a online call with my parents and friends and sometimes so.

✓ I only use the Internet when I want to send messages or make an online call with my parents and friends, and sometimes so.

'Internet' 前应加定冠词 'the'，因为特指互联网。'a online call' 中 'online' 以元音音素开头，冠词应为 'an'。

× So All in all, I only use it in some necessary situation.

✓ So all in all, I only use it in some necessary situations.

'situation' 应使用复数形式 'situations'，因为前面用了 'some'，表示多个情况。

× Uh, maybe when I was preparing for the college entrance exam and, and that year I, I'm not allowed to use the Internet to, to March, especially for the entertainment videos for a long time.

✓ Uh, maybe when I was preparing for the college entrance exam, that year I wasn't allowed to use the Internet to watch, especially entertainment videos for a long time.

'I'm not allowed' 应改为过去时 'I wasn't allowed'，因为描述的是过去的情况。'March' 应为 'watch'，是拼写错误。

× No, I don't think I know the dangers of being addicting on the social media, so I will make a schedule to control my times of using mobile phone a day.

✓ No, I don't think I am addicted to the dangers of social media, so I will make a schedule to control my time of using my mobile phone a day.

'being addicting' 用法错误，应改为 'am addicted'，表示状态。'on the social media' 应为 'to social media'。'times' 应为不可数名词 'time'。

× If I have some new ideas and playing games with my friends to strength our friendship.

✓ If I have some new ideas, I will play games with my friends to strengthen our friendship.

句子缺少主谓结构，'playing' 应改为 'I will play'。'strength' 应为动词 'strengthen'。