网络— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 回答时动词时态错误较多，且表达不够自然。建议注意时态一致性，简洁明了地表达时间点，并避免重复。

示例: I started using the Internet when I entered primary school. We used a QQ app to communicate with my teacher and classmates, so the Internet was essential for our communication.

建议: 回答中语法错误较多，表达不够连贯。建议使用连词连接句子，注意动词形式，并具体说明上网频率和用途。

示例: I go online every day because in this digital age, the Internet affects all aspects of our lives, such as shopping, communication, and work.

建议: 回答不完整且语法混乱，缺少清晰的主题句和细节。建议完整表达禁止使用互联网的时间和原因，注意句子结构。

示例: Yes, in senior high school, there was a strict rule that we were not allowed to use the Internet or bring cell phones to school or class to avoid distractions.

建议: 回答中有许多犹豫词和语法错误，表达不清晰。建议简洁明了地说明上网时间和原因，避免重复和口头语。

示例: Yes, I spend about half of my day online, mostly on my phone. Although it takes a lot of time, I think it's unavoidable because the Internet affects many parts of life.

建议: 回答较好，但可以更具体地说明阅读书籍的好处，并使用连接词使表达更流畅。

示例: If I didn't have the Internet, I would prefer to read books because they help me relax and feel at ease when I feel restless.

× I start using the Internet when I enter the primary school.

✓ I started using the Internet when I entered primary school.

这里描述的是过去发生的动作，应该使用过去时态。动词start和enter应改为过去式started和entered。

× We use a QQ communication app to connect with each other with my teacher and classmates.

✓ We use a QQ communication app to connect with my teacher and classmates.

“connect with each other with my teacher and classmates”中“with each other”多余且用法不当，应去掉。

× So we have to use Internet to communicate each other.

✓ So we have to use the Internet to communicate with each other.

“communicate each other”缺少介词“with”，且“Internet”前应加定冠词“the”。

× I go online every day in this electronic era, we use the Internet to shopping, communicating and as well as the working.

✓ I go online every day. In this electronic era, we use the Internet for shopping, communicating, and working.

句子中“to shopping, communicating and as well as the working”结构错误，动词应用动名词形式，且“as well as”用法不当，应改为并列结构。

× So it is it contains affect all all aspects of our life.

✓ So it affects all aspects of our life.

句子结构混乱，重复使用“it is it contains affect all all”，应简化为“it affects all aspects”。

× That must In the Senior High School, there is a strict rule of using the Internet and phone so we can bring the our cell phone to the school and of course the class.

✓ That must be in Senior High School. There is a strict rule about using the Internet and phones, so we cannot bring our cell phones to school or class.

“That must In the Senior High School”缺少动词“be”；“rule of using”应为“rule about using”；“so we can bring”与上下文矛盾，应为“cannot bring”；“the our cell phone”冠词使用错误。

× So.

单独的“So.”不构成完整句子，应与前句合并或补充内容。

× Yes, I just think I spend a lot of time on the Internet, umm, approximately half of the half of the day, umm, when I awake, when I, when I'm awake, I using with my phone, Umm, but I think it's uh, unavoidable because it have uh, affected all.

✓ Yes, I think I spend a lot of time on the Internet, approximately half of the day. When I'm awake, I use my phone. But I think it's unavoidable because it has affected everything.

“I just think”中“just”位置不当；“when I awake”应为“when I'm awake”；“I using with my phone”动词形式错误，应为“I use my phone”；“it have affected”主谓不一致，应为“it has affected”；句子过于冗长且结构混乱。

× I prefer to read books because I usually feel restless without the Internet, but reading books can bring me the relaxation and make me at ease.

✓ I prefer to read books because I usually feel restless without the Internet, but reading books can bring me relaxation and make me feel at ease.

“bring me the relaxation”中“the”多余，应去掉；“make me at ease”缺少动词“feel”。