网络— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Your answer is clear and relevant, but you can improve by using more natural phrasing and avoiding redundancy. For example, instead of repeating 'people' and 'online', try to vary your vocabulary and sentence structure. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

示例: I began using the internet in 2020 when the COVID-19 pandemic forced everyone to stay at home. As a result, many switched to online platforms for work and study. During this period, I learned to attend virtual classes and keep in touch with family and friends through Google Meet.

建议: Your answer addresses the question but is a bit long and slightly repetitive. Try to make your response more concise and use linking words to improve coherence. Also, avoid generalisations like 'the teenagers nowadays' without specifying.

示例: I usually go online twice a week because my parents limit my screen time. They want me to concentrate on my studies since the internet can be quite distracting for teenagers these days.

建议: Your answer is well-structured and informative. To improve, try to combine sentences using linking words to make your response more fluent and natural.

示例: Yes, I remember two years ago when I wasn't allowed to use the internet because I was preparing for my 10th exam, which was very important for my future. Therefore, my parents took away my phone, iPad, and laptop to help me avoid distractions.

建议: Your answer is relevant but can be improved by using more varied vocabulary and linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Also, avoid short, choppy sentences by combining related ideas.

示例: Two years ago, I used to spend about 5 to 6 hours online daily, which was excessive. To help me reduce this, my parents set a time limit on my phone, which now restricts my screen time to one or two hours a day.

建议: Your answer is good and detailed. To enhance it, try to use linking words like 'for example' or 'in addition' to connect your ideas more naturally and avoid repeating similar phrases like 'activities'.

示例: If there were no internet, I would probably spend more time doing physical activities, for example, playing badminton or trying water sports. In addition, these outdoor activities would help me stay fit and healthy. I would also start cooking more often using recipe books.

× I started using Internet in 2020 when COVID pandemic had forced everyone to stay home.

✓ I started using the Internet in 2020 when the COVID pandemic had forced everyone to stay home.

The word 'Internet' is a proper noun that requires the definite article 'the' before it. Similarly, 'COVID pandemic' needs 'the' because it refers to a specific pandemic. Omitting 'the' in these cases is incorrect in English grammar.

× This deadly virus had caused people to switch to online option, making people work from home using online platforms.

✓ This deadly virus caused people to switch to online options, making people work from home using online platforms.

The past perfect tense 'had caused' is unnecessary here because the sentence is narrating past events in sequence. Simple past 'caused' is appropriate. Also, 'online option' should be plural 'online options' to match the context of multiple choices.

× making people work from home using online platforms.

✓ making people work from home using online platforms.

No correction needed in this sentence.

× I go online maybe twice a week because my parents have limited my screen time as they want me to focus on my studies and score well because online has become a major distraction in the teenagers nowadays.

✓ I go online maybe twice a week because my parents have limited my screen time as they want me to focus on my studies and score well because the online world has become a major distraction for teenagers nowadays.

The phrase 'online' is vague here; it should be 'the online world' or 'online activities' with the definite article 'the'. Also, 'in the teenagers' is incorrect; it should be 'for teenagers' to indicate who is distracted.

× Yes, I remember a time when I wasn't allowed to use the Internet.

✓ Yes, I remember a time when I wasn't allowed to use the Internet.

No correction needed in this sentence.

× It is a very important exam that was going to decide my future.

✓ It was a very important exam that was going to decide my future.

The sentence refers to a past event, so 'is' should be changed to past tense 'was' to maintain tense consistency.

× My parents had taken away my phone and my iPad and my laptop to avoid any distractions.

✓ My parents had taken away my phone, my iPad, and my laptop to avoid any distractions.

No major grammatical error, but adding commas improves clarity in listing items.

× I think 2 years back I used to spend a lot of time online.

✓ I think two years ago I used to spend a lot of time online.

The phrase '2 years back' is informal and incorrect in standard English; 'two years ago' is the correct expression for referring to a time in the past.

× My screen time used to be approximately 5 to 6 hours a day.

✓ My screen time used to be approximately five to six hours a day.

Numbers from one to ten are generally written in words in formal writing. Also, no article error here but number formatting is improved.

× So my parents came up with a technique.

✓ So my parents came up with a technique.

No correction needed.

× They had set a time limit on my phone and this helped me restrict my hours to one hour a day or two hours a day.

✓ They set a time limit on my phone and this helped me restrict my hours to one or two hours a day.

Past perfect 'had set' is unnecessary here; simple past 'set' is appropriate. Also, 'one hour a day or two hours a day' is better expressed as 'one or two hours a day' for conciseness.

× If there were no Internet, I would probably spend more time engaging in physical activities, for instance, playing badminton or trying water sports activities.

✓ If there were no Internet, I would probably spend more time engaging in physical activities, for instance, playing badminton or trying water sports.

The phrase 'water sports activities' is redundant; 'water sports' suffices. Also, 'If there were no Internet' is correct subjunctive mood usage.

× I think that these outdoor activities would have kept me fit and healthy.

✓ I think that these outdoor activities would have kept me fit and healthy.

No correction needed.

× Also, I would start cooking a lot more using recipe books.

✓ Also, I would start cooking a lot more using recipe books.

No correction needed.