网络— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Your answer is a bit long and slightly unclear. Try to make your response more natural and concise by directly answering the question first, then adding a supporting detail with proper linking words. Avoid redundancy and grammatical errors.

示例: I started using the internet about 10 years ago when my computer teacher introduced it during school. At first, it felt time-consuming, but now I am quite comfortable using it.

建议: Your answer contains some grammatical mistakes and is a bit repetitive. Try to use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly and be more specific about your usage. Also, avoid unnecessary phrases and focus on clarity.

示例: I go online very frequently, almost every hour, mainly to use social media apps like Instagram, Facebook, and WhatsApp. This helps me stay connected with my family and find information easily.

建议: Your answer is relevant but could be improved by using clearer sentence structures and linking words. Try to avoid repeating similar ideas and focus on making your response more natural and concise.

示例: Yes, a couple of months ago during my exams, my teacher and parents asked me not to use the internet so I could focus on studying. Therefore, I prioritized my studies over using my phone at that time.

建议: Your answer has some unclear phrases and grammatical errors. Try to organise your ideas logically using linking words and be more specific about your habits. Also, avoid redundancy and improve sentence clarity.

示例: To be honest, I do spend too much time online, especially during my free time, which I know is not good for my health. Therefore, I try to exercise sometimes, but when I feel tired or bored, I use my phone to relax.

建议: Your answer is somewhat repetitive and unclear. Try to directly answer the question first, then add supporting details with linking words. Use clear and concise sentences to express your ideas naturally.

示例: Without the internet, I would focus more on my health during my leisure time because I have faced health issues due to a sedentary lifestyle. Also, I would find other ways to entertain myself when I feel bored.

× Well, if my memory serves me at it, it's a matter of 10 years ago when it's my first time when I used Internet, uh, actually in my school curriculum, my computer teacher told me like how to operate technological gadgets and how to use Internet it in.

✓ Well, if my memory serves me right, it was about 10 years ago when I first used the Internet. Actually, in my school curriculum, my computer teacher taught me how to operate technological gadgets and how to use the Internet.

The phrase 'serves me at it' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'serves me right'. Also, 'used Internet' needs the article 'the' before 'Internet'. The preposition 'in' at the end is misplaced and unnecessary. The sentence is restructured for clarity and correct preposition use.

× Well, as nowadays technology is increased at an unprecedented rate, so I always use my Internet on my regular basis like in to be honest, in every hour I use my Internet application such as Instagram platform and Facebook, WhatsApp and many more.

✓ Well, nowadays technology is increasing at an unprecedented rate, so I always use the Internet regularly. To be honest, I use Internet applications such as Instagram, Facebook, WhatsApp, and many more every hour.

The phrase 'technology is increased at' is incorrect; it should be 'technology is increasing at'. 'Use my Internet on my regular basis' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'use the Internet regularly'. Also, 'in every hour' is incorrect; 'every hour' suffices without 'in'. Prepositions are corrected for natural English usage.

× At that time my teacher did not allow me to use the Internet as well as my parents also taught me like please stay on your books and focus on more on your study instead of you just wasting your time on the Internet applications.

✓ At that time, my teacher did not allow me to use the Internet, and my parents also told me to please stay with your books and focus more on your studies instead of wasting your time on Internet applications.

The phrase 'taught me like please stay on your books' is incorrect; 'told me to please stay with your books' is correct. 'Focus on more on your study' is redundant; 'focus more on your studies' is correct. The sentence is corrected for proper past tense and preposition use.

× To be honest, yes, as nowadays when I have a laser time I give more time to the using Internet applications, which is I think so not good for my health.

✓ To be honest, yes, nowadays when I have leisure time, I spend more time using Internet applications, which I think is not good for my health.

'Laser time' is a mispronunciation; the correct term is 'leisure time'. 'Give more time to the using Internet applications' is incorrect; it should be 'spend more time using Internet applications'. Prepositions and verb forms are corrected for clarity.

× So sometimes I always prefer to do exercise another thing.

✓ So sometimes I prefer to do exercise or other activities.

The phrase 'another thing' is vague and incorrect here; 'other activities' is more appropriate. Also, 'prefer to do exercise' is correct but needs a conjunction to connect the ideas properly.

× But when I ever I feel tired and bored at that time I give my time to my mobile phones.

✓ But whenever I feel tired and bored, I spend my time on my mobile phone.

'When I ever' should be 'whenever'. 'Give my time to my mobile phones' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'spend my time on my mobile phone'. Prepositions and word choice are corrected.

× So whenever I have leisure time, at that time I always give to my health because I think so health is very important.

✓ So whenever I have leisure time, I always devote it to my health because I think health is very important.

'Give to my health' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'devote it to my health'. The sentence is corrected for proper verb and preposition use.

× Nowadays due to my sedentary lifestyle couple of months ago I face a lot of difficulties.

✓ A couple of months ago, due to my sedentary lifestyle, I faced a lot of difficulties.

The sentence mixes present and past tenses incorrectly. 'Nowadays' conflicts with 'couple of months ago'. The correct past tense 'faced' is used, and the sentence is reordered for clarity.

× But whenever I felt bored at that time I give my little bit time to the Internet.

✓ But whenever I feel bored, I give a little bit of time to the Internet.

The sentence mixes past tense 'felt' with present tense 'give'. For habitual actions, present tense should be used consistently. Also, 'my little bit time' is corrected to 'a little bit of time'. Prepositions and articles are corrected.