网络— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 回答は意味が伝わりますが、文法の誤りや不自然な表現が見られます。例えば、「at the first time」ではなく「for the first time」が正しいです。また、文を簡潔にし、接続詞を使って論理的に繋げるとより自然になります。

示例: I started using the Internet when I was 10 years old because my parents bought me a Windows 95 computer. Since then, I have enjoyed browsing websites and playing online games.

建议: 回答は内容が伝わりますが、文法ミスや不自然な表現が多いです。例えば、「go to a online」ではなく「go online」、「under search for information」ではなく「search for information」が正しいです。接続詞を使い、文を整理して簡潔に答えることを意識しましょう。

示例: I go online almost every day because I need to search for information as a journalist. Studying social problems is essential for my work, so going online is inevitable for me.

建议: 内容は理解できますが、表現が不自然で文法的な誤りが多いです。「2 words with cases」は意味が不明瞭で、「music halls」も文脈に合いません。より具体的で正確な表現を使い、文を簡潔にまとめましょう。

示例: Yes, I remember two occasions when I wasn't allowed to use the Internet. For example, in music halls, using smartphones is prohibited because it can be distracting.

建议: 回答は主旨が伝わりますが、文法や語順の誤りが多く、意味が分かりにくい部分があります。「spend excessively time as on the Internet」や「for how many people especially for youngest」は不自然です。簡潔で正確な表現を心がけましょう。

示例: Yes, I think many people spend too much time online every day because social media platforms like Instagram and X are very addictive, especially for young people.

建议: 回答は内容が伝わりますが、時制の誤りや不自然な表現があります。「spent」ではなく「spend」、「called it as a detox in」ではなく「call it a detox」などが正しいです。文を整理し、自然な表現を使いましょう。

示例: Without the Internet, I would spend time relaxing by going to the mountains or the ocean to recharge and unwind. Many people call this a digital detox, which is important in modern life.

× I used the Internet when I was 10 years old at the first time umm because of my parents bought me a Windows 95 and I enjoyed browsing and Internet gaming.

✓ I started using the Internet when I was 10 years old because my parents bought me a Windows 95, and I enjoyed browsing and Internet gaming.

The phrase 'at the first time' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'for the first time' or better to say 'I started using the Internet when...'. Also, 'because of my parents bought me' is incorrect; it should be 'because my parents bought me'. The sentence needs past tense consistency and proper phrasing.

× I go to a online almost everyday because I have to get a lot of knowledge under search for information because I am a journalist and I have to study a lot about the social problems.

✓ I go online almost every day because I have to gain a lot of knowledge and search for information since I am a journalist and have to study a lot about social problems.

The phrase 'go to a online' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'go online' without 'to' or 'a'. Also, 'under search for information' is incorrect; it should be 'and search for information'. 'Everyday' should be two words 'every day' when used as an adverb.

× I sometimes spent relaxing time without Internet.

✓ I sometimes spend relaxing time without the Internet.

The verb 'spent' is past tense, but the adverb 'sometimes' suggests habitual action, so present tense 'spend' is appropriate. Also, 'without Internet' should be 'without the Internet' because 'Internet' is a unique entity requiring the definite article.

× I sometimes spent relaxing time without Internet.

✓ I sometimes spend relaxing time without the Internet.

The noun 'Internet' is a unique entity and requires the definite article 'the' when referred to in this context.

× Some people called it as a detox in.

✓ Some people call it a detox.

The phrase 'called it as a detox in' is incorrect. The verb 'call' does not require 'as' in this context, and 'detox in' is incorrect. The correct phrase is 'call it a detox'.

× Yes, it seems that there are many people spend excessively time as on the Internet almost everyday, because there are a lot of information especially on social media such as Instagram or X and it's very addictive for how many people especially for youngest.

✓ Yes, it seems that many people spend excessive time on the Internet almost every day because there is a lot of information, especially on social media such as Instagram or X, and it's very addictive for many people, especially the youngest.

'There are many people spend' is incorrect; it should be 'many people spend'. 'Excessively time' should be 'excessive time'. 'There are a lot of information' is incorrect because 'information' is uncountable; it should be 'there is a lot of information'. 'For how many people' should be 'for many people'. 'For youngest' should be 'the youngest'.