网络— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 文法の誤りが多く、意味が伝わりにくいです。より自然な英語表現を使い、文を簡潔にまとめることが必要です。例えば、過去形の正しい使用や冠詞の使い方に注意しましょう。

示例: I started using the internet when I was in elementary school. We had a computer class where we learned how to find information online.

建议: 内容は良いですが、繰り返しや冗長な表現が見られます。文を整理し、接続詞を使って論理的に繋げる練習をしましょう。

示例: I go online every day. For example, I check the weather, buy clothes, and study online.

建议: 文法と語順の誤りが多く、意味が不明瞭です。過去形の正しい使い方や、簡潔で明確な表現を心がけましょう。

示例: Yes, I remember. When I was in elementary school, my parents did not allow me to use the internet because they wanted me to study hard.

建议: 文法の誤りと不自然な表現があります。時間の表現や目的語の使い方に注意し、より自然な言い回しを練習しましょう。

示例: Yes, I think I spend too much time online. I usually use my smartphone for 5 to 6 hours a day, and I want to reduce this and do other activities.

建议: 意味が伝わりにくく、文法的な誤りが多いです。文を短くし、明確に伝えたい内容を整理しましょう。

示例: Without the internet, I would read books, play video games, and study English. I think it is important to spend time offline sometimes.

× I think I have started use it in when I was in an elementary school, there was an A lesson to use computer and catch information using Internet.

✓ I think I started using it when I was in elementary school; there was a lesson to use computers and find information using the Internet.

The verb 'start' should be followed by the '-ing' form 'using' instead of the base form 'use'. Also, 'in when' is incorrect; 'when' alone is sufficient. 'A lesson to use computer' should be 'a lesson to use computers' for plural and article correctness. 'Catch information' is better expressed as 'find information'. 'Using Internet' should be 'using the Internet' with the definite article.

× I think I have started use it in when I was in an elementary school, there was an A lesson to use computer and catch information using Internet.

✓ I think I started using it when I was in elementary school; there was a lesson to use computers and find information using the Internet.

The definite article 'the' is needed before 'Internet' because it is a unique entity. Also, 'an elementary school' can be simplified to 'elementary school' when referring to the general time period.

× I use online resources every day. For example I search the weather online every day and I I buy the my clothes online and also the things I need I can get in online. And also studying online.

✓ I use online resources every day. For example, I search the weather online every day, I buy my clothes online, and I can get the things I need online. I also study online.

The phrase 'And also studying online' is a fragment and should be a complete sentence 'I also study online.' The phrase 'I I buy the my clothes' has redundant articles; 'the' should be removed. 'I can get in online' is incorrect; 'get online' is sufficient.

× I use online resources every day. For example I search the weather online every day and I I buy the my clothes online and also the things I need I can get in online. And also studying online.

✓ I use online resources every day. For example, I search the weather online every day, I buy my clothes online, and I can get the things I need online. I also study online.

The preposition 'in' before 'online' is unnecessary and incorrect. 'Get in online' should be 'get online'.

× Yes, I remember it clearly. When I was in elementary school my parents had me not to use Internet because I have had to study hard. So they they they had have thought that it were this.

✓ Yes, I remember it clearly. When I was in elementary school, my parents told me not to use the Internet because I had to study hard. So they thought that was necessary.

The phrase 'had me not to use' is incorrect; 'told me not to use' is correct. 'I have had to study' should be 'I had to study' to match past tense. 'They had have thought that it were this' is ungrammatical; 'they thought that was necessary' is clearer and correct.

× Yes, I remember it clearly. When I was in elementary school my parents had me not to use Internet because I have had to study hard. So they they they had have thought that it were this.

✓ Yes, I remember it clearly. When I was in elementary school, my parents told me not to use the Internet because I had to study hard. So they thought that was necessary.

The past perfect 'had have thought' is incorrect; simple past 'thought' is appropriate here. 'I have had to study' should be simple past 'I had to study' to maintain tense consistency.

× Yes I think so. I usually spend 5 to 6 hours a day on using smartphones so I think it is many time and I want to reduce this time and use to another thing.

✓ Yes, I think so. I usually spend 5 to 6 hours a day using smartphones, so I think it is too much time and I want to reduce this time and use it for other things.

The phrase 'spend 5 to 6 hours a day on using smartphones' is incorrect; 'spend time using smartphones' is correct. 'It is many time' should be 'it is too much time'. 'Use to another thing' should be 'use it for other things'.

× Yes I think so. I usually spend 5 to 6 hours a day on using smartphones so I think it is many time and I want to reduce this time and use to another thing.

✓ Yes, I think so. I usually spend 5 to 6 hours a day using smartphones, so I think it is too much time and I want to reduce this time and use it for other things.

The preposition 'on' before 'using smartphones' is unnecessary and incorrect. Also, 'use to another thing' should be 'use it for other things'.

× I always read book and also I do I play online, I play video games that I have and also I spend my time to study English. So it is I think it is important not to use on.

✓ I always read books, and I also play online. I play video games that I have, and I also spend my time studying English. So, I think it is important not to use it too much.

'Read book' should be plural 'read books'. 'I do I play online' is incorrect and should be 'I also play online'. 'Spend my time to study English' should be 'spend my time studying English'. The last sentence is unclear; 'not to use on' is corrected to 'not to use it too much' for clarity.