网络— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 回答は質問に直接答えていますが、文法の誤りや不自然な表現が見られます。例えば、「At that time on Windows 98 has appeared in the market」は不自然で、「Windows 98 had just been released at that time」のように過去完了形を使うと自然です。また、冗長な表現を避け、簡潔に答えることが重要です。

示例: I started using the Internet when I was 10 years old. At that time, Windows 98 had just been released and it was very popular among children. I enjoyed browsing websites using that system.

建议: 多くの「uh」や「umm」が含まれており、流暢さが損なわれています。また、文法的な誤り（"a chatting apps"は不適切）や単数・複数の不一致があります。回答は簡潔で明確にし、流暢さを高めるために不要な間投詞を減らしましょう。

示例: I go online every day because I need to do many tasks through the Internet. Especially, I communicate with my colleagues at work using chat applications.

建议: 回答が不明瞭で意味が伝わりにくいです。文法や語彙の誤りも多く、内容が混乱しています。質問に対して直接的かつ明確に答え、具体的な状況や理由を述べることが必要です。

示例: When I was in junior high school, my parents told me I couldn't use the Internet often because I needed to focus on studying and sports. I think that was a good rule for me.

建议: 多くの文法的誤りと不自然な表現があります（"storing at their smartphone screen"は誤り）。意味が伝わりにくいため、簡潔で正確な表現を心がけ、理由や感情を明確に述べましょう。

示例: Yes, I think I spend too much time online. Every day, I spend a lot of time looking at my smartphone screen in bed. I know it's bad for my sleep, but I can't stop, and it's a big problem for me.

建议: 回答が不明瞭で文法的な誤りが多いです（"I couldn't deliver without the Internet"の意味が不明瞭）。質問に対して明確に答え、具体的な理由や影響を述べることが重要です。

示例: It's hard to imagine life without the Internet. Without it, I wouldn't be able to communicate or work efficiently, so the Internet is very important in my daily life.

× At that time on Windows 98 has appeared in the market and it was very popular among young children and I enjoyed a lot by using that browser.

✓ At that time, Windows 98 had appeared in the market and it was very popular among young children, and I enjoyed using that browser a lot.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'has appeared' which is present perfect tense, but the context is past time ('At that time'). The correct past perfect 'had appeared' fits better. Also, 'on Windows 98' is incorrect preposition usage; it should be 'Windows 98 had appeared'. Additionally, 'enjoyed a lot by using' is awkward; 'enjoyed using that browser a lot' is correct.

× At that time on Windows 98 has appeared in the market and it was very popular among young children and I enjoyed a lot by using that browser.

✓ At that time, Windows 98 had appeared in the market and it was very popular among young children, and I enjoyed using that browser a lot.

The preposition 'on' before 'Windows 98' is incorrect. The correct phrase is 'Windows 98 had appeared' without 'on'.

× I enjoyed a lot by using that browser.

✓ I enjoyed using that browser a lot.

The phrase 'enjoyed a lot by using' is incorrect. 'A lot' should come after the verb phrase, so 'enjoyed using that browser a lot' is correct.

× especially I have to communicate with the colleague in my workplace and by using a chatting apps.

✓ especially I have to communicate with colleagues in my workplace by using chatting apps.

'The colleague' is singular but context suggests plural 'colleagues'. Also, 'a chatting apps' mixes singular article 'a' with plural noun 'apps'. It should be 'chatting apps' without 'a'.

× especially I have to communicate with the colleague in my workplace and by using a chatting apps.

✓ especially I have to communicate with colleagues in my workplace by using chatting apps.

The phrase 'and by using a chatting apps' is incorrect. The preposition 'by' is unnecessary here; 'using chatting apps' is sufficient.

× You saw winning words in a junior high school student and my parents told me that I I couldn't use the Internet so often because I had to focus on studying and doing sports.

✓ When I was a junior high school student, my parents told me that I couldn't use the Internet so often because I had to focus on studying and doing sports.

The original sentence is confusing and lacks proper structure. 'You saw winning words in a junior high school student' is unclear and likely incorrect. The corrected sentence clarifies the meaning and corrects the structure.

× You saw winning words in a junior high school student and my parents told me that I I couldn't use the Internet so often because I had to focus on studying and doing sports.

✓ When I was a junior high school student, my parents told me that I couldn't use the Internet so often because I had to focus on studying and doing sports.

The pronoun 'You' is incorrectly used; the speaker should refer to themselves with 'I'. Also, 'I I' is a repetition error.

× Every day I spend a lot of time storing at their smartphone screen in my bed.

✓ Every day I spend a lot of time staring at my smartphone screen in my bed.

'Storing' is incorrect; the correct verb is 'staring'. Also, 'their smartphone screen' should be 'my smartphone screen' to match the subject.

× Every day I spend a lot of time storing at their smartphone screen in my bed.

✓ Every day I spend a lot of time staring at my smartphone screen in my bed.

The pronoun 'their' is incorrect here because the speaker is referring to their own smartphone, so 'my' is appropriate.

× I understand in personal that it's barrier, but for my sleeping, but I can't stop it, it's very big problem.

✓ I understand personally that it's a barrier to my sleeping, but I can't stop it; it's a very big problem.

'In personal' is incorrect; the correct adverb is 'personally'. 'It's barrier' lacks an article; it should be 'it's a barrier'. 'For my sleeping' should be 'to my sleeping' to indicate what is affected.

× it's very big problem.

✓ it's a very big problem.

The phrase lacks the indefinite article 'a' before 'very big problem'.

× It's a very difficult question because I can't imagine the life without the Internet, but I think I couldn't deliver without the Internet, so that tour is a very important for my daily life.

✓ It's a very difficult question because I can't imagine life without the Internet, but I think I couldn't live without the Internet, so the Internet is very important for my daily life.

'The life' should be 'life' without 'the' in this context. 'Deliver' is incorrect; the intended verb is likely 'live'. 'That tour' is incorrect and unclear; it should be 'the Internet'. Also, 'a very important' should be 'very important' without 'a'.