网络— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Try to make your answer more natural and grammatically correct. Avoid redundancy and keep sentences concise. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. For example, instead of 'it was really excited', say 'I was really excited'. Also, correct tense usage is important, e.g., 'I was fascinated by how quickly I could find answers.'

示例: I started using the Internet a few years ago when my family bought a new phone. At that time, the Internet was quite new, and I was really excited because it offered a completely different way to access information and communicate. I was fascinated by how quickly I could find answers online.

建议: Focus on grammatical accuracy and clarity. Use correct verb forms and avoid unnecessary phrases like 'so I think' at the end. Also, try to add linking words to make your answer coherent.

示例: I usually go online for about 2 to 3 hours a day after work. Mostly, I prefer using my phone to browse social media once I return home.

建议: Your answer is clear but can be improved by using smoother linking words and correcting grammar. For example, say 'I was not allowed to use the Internet at home or on my mobile because it distracted me, and I couldn't focus on my studies.' Also, avoid repeating 'Internet' unnecessarily.

示例: Yes, when I was in 12th standard during my exams, I was not allowed to use the Internet at home or on my mobile because it distracted me and I couldn't focus on my studies. Therefore, my parents advised me to avoid using it during that time.

建议: Try to express your ideas more clearly and use correct sentence structures. For example, say 'I usually don't spend much time online because since childhood, I have not been someone who sticks to the phone all day. Instead, I prefer to focus on the world around me.'

示例: No, I don't think I spend too much time online. Since my childhood, I have not been the type to stay on my phone all day. I prefer to concentrate on the world around me.

建议: Improve sentence structure and avoid redundancy. Use linking words like 'however' to contrast ideas. For example, 'Although it is quite difficult to live without the Internet because we are all addicted to it, if I had the chance, I would prefer to spend my time cooking, doing household chores, developing my skills, and participating in various activities.'

示例: Although it is quite difficult to live without the Internet since we are all addicted to it, if I had the chance, I would prefer to spend my time cooking, doing household chores, developing my skills, and participating in different activities.

× At that time the Internet was new and it was really excited because it was offering a completely different experience to access to information and communicate.

✓ At that time the Internet was new and it was really exciting because it was offering a completely different experience to access information and communicate.

The adjective 'excited' describes a feeling experienced by a person, but here the Internet is the subject and should be described as 'exciting' to indicate it causes excitement. Also, 'to access to information' is incorrect; 'to' should be removed after 'access'.

× I was very fascinated now and how quickly I could find answers.

✓ I was very fascinated by how quickly I could find answers.

The phrase 'now' is inconsistent with the past tense 'was'. Also, 'fascinated' requires a preposition 'by' to indicate what caused the fascination. The sentence is corrected to maintain past tense and proper preposition use.

× I usually be online around 2 to 3 hours a day after my work.

✓ I am usually online around 2 to 3 hours a day after my work.

The verb 'be' is incorrectly used here. In present simple tense with 'I', the correct form is 'am'. 'Usually' indicates habitual action, so present simple tense is appropriate.

× I mostly prefer using phone and social media after returning to home from my work so I think.

✓ I mostly prefer using my phone and social media after returning home from my work, I think.

The phrase 'returning to home' is incorrect; it should be 'returning home' without 'to'. Also, 'using phone' should be 'using my phone' to specify possession. A comma before 'I think' improves sentence clarity.

× Yes, when I was in my 12 standard senior secondary, around my exams I was not allowed to use Internet at my home or my mobile as I was getting distracted by it and I was not able to focus on my study.

✓ Yes, when I was in my 12th standard senior secondary, around my exams I was not allowed to use the Internet at my home or on my mobile as I was getting distracted by it and was not able to focus on my studies.

'12 standard' should be '12th standard' to indicate ordinal number. 'Use Internet' requires the definite article 'the'. 'My mobile' should be preceded by 'on' to indicate device usage. 'Focus on my study' should be plural 'studies' to refer to academic work.

× So my parents suggested me to not to use Internet.

✓ So my parents suggested that I should not use the Internet.

The verb 'suggest' is not followed by an object pronoun 'me' but by a clause. Also, 'to not to use' is incorrect; it should be 'should not use'. The definite article 'the' is needed before 'Internet'.

× No, I usually don't spend much time online as from my childhood and I'm not a person who will stick to my phone a whole day, so I prefer not to use it and concentrate on around the world which is around me.

✓ No, I usually haven't spent much time online since my childhood and I'm not a person who will stick to my phone all day, so I prefer not to use it and concentrate on the world around me.

'As from my childhood' is incorrect; 'since my childhood' is appropriate to indicate time from past to present. 'A whole day' should be 'all day'. 'Concentrate on around the world which is around me' is awkward; corrected to 'concentrate on the world around me' for clarity.

× Yeah, it is a quite difficult to go around without Internet as we all are addicted to it now.

✓ Yeah, it is quite difficult to go around without the Internet as we all are addicted to it now.

'A quite difficult' is incorrect; 'quite difficult' is correct without 'a'. The definite article 'the' is needed before 'Internet'.

× But if I get a chance to be without it, then I will prefer to spend my time in cooking and doing household chores around along with developing my skills and participating in different activities.

✓ But if I get a chance to be without it, then I will prefer to spend my time cooking and doing household chores around, along with developing my skills and participating in different activities.

The phrase 'spend my time in cooking' is incorrect; 'spend my time cooking' is correct. A comma is added after 'around' for clarity.