科学— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 문법과 시제 사용을 바로잡고 문장을 더 자연스럽게 연결하세요. 예를 들어 과거 경험과 현재 관심을 구분해 주어야 합니다. 불필요한 반복(예: 'I have an interest... when I was high school and until these days')을 줄이고, 주어-동사 일치를 확인하세요. 또한 ‘cell reactions between our’처럼 의미가 불명확한 표현을 구체적으로 다듬으세요.

示例: Yes, I do. I became interested in science in high school, and I still enjoy it today because I’m especially keen on biology. I find it fascinating to learn how cells interact and respond to different environments.

建议: 문장 구조와 어순을 정리하고 불필요한 중복을 제거하세요. 관사(a/the) 사용과 복수형, 시제 등을 점검하세요. 'after reading, after reading' 같은 반복을 피하고 구체적인 예를 하나 들어 말하면 더 설득력 있습니다.

示例: I started learning about science in elementary school. When I was young, I read lots of popular science books, and after reading them I wanted to try simple experiments, like making a homemade volcano or growing crystals.

建议: 의사 전달을 명확히 하기 위해 문장을 간결하게 만드세요. 'know between the medicine and our body cells work'처럼 어색한 표현은 'how medicines interact with body cells'로 바꾸세요. 반복되는 'I, I, I'를 제거하고 시제를 현재완료 또는 현재진행으로 통일하세요.

示例: I’m interested in biology because I want to become a pharmacist. It’s important to understand how medicines interact with body cells, so I’ve been studying topics like pharmacology and cell biology recently.

建议: 문장을 간결하고 명확하게 구성하세요. 시제 일관성(과거 활동은 과거형)과 단어 선택(예: 'bagel ordeal'는 의미 불명확)을 확인하세요. 구체적으로 어떤 식물을 키웠고 무엇을 배웠는지 설명하면 좋습니다.

示例: As I mentioned, I was really interested in biology, so I grew my own plants as a hobby. For example, I grew bean sprouts and a small potted herb, which helped me understand plant structure and growth cycles.

建议: 중복된 단어('which which')와 불필요한 반복('I'm, I'm')을 제거하세요. 'show'의 수일치와 'various scientific knowledge and wild animals' 같은 표현을 더 자연스럽게 연결하세요. 또한 흥미를 구체적으로 설명하면 좋습니다 (예: 왜 북극곰에 관심 있는지).

示例: Yes, I do. One of my favorite programs is National Geographic because it presents a wide range of scientific topics and wildlife. Lately I’ve been particularly interested in polar bears and their adaptation to climate change.

建议: 일반화하는 표현을 피하고 문법(복수/단수, 관사)과 어휘('informations'→information) 사용을 바로잡으세요. 근거 없이 집단 전체를 일반화하기보다는 자신의 관찰이나 경험을 바탕으로 말하는 것이 안전합니다. 문장을 끝까지 완성하세요.

示例: Yes, many people in China visit science museums. In my experience, science museums are popular among families and students because they offer interactive exhibits that help people learn about technology and nature.

× I have an interest in science when I was high school and until these days because I especially keen on learning biology and I can understand the cell reactions between our.

✓ I have been interested in science since high school and still am nowadays because I am especially keen on learning biology and I can understand cell reactions in our bodies.

문장에는 시제 혼동과 주어-동사 호응 오류가 있습니다. 'have an interest in'을 지속적인 상태로 표현하려면 현재완료 진행 또는 현재완료형 'have been interested'를 사용해야 하고, 'when I was high school'은 시제와 관사 사용이 잘못되어 'since high school'으로 바꿔야 합니다. 'I especially keen'은 동사가 빠져 있으므로 'I am especially keen'으로 수정했고, 'the cell reactions between our'은 불완전한 표현이므로 'cell reactions in our bodies'로 명확히 했습니다.

× I started to learn about science when I was elementary school.

✓ I started to learn about science when I was in elementary school.

'when I was elementary school'에는 전치사와 관사가 빠져 있습니다. 영어에서는 'in elementary school' 혹은 'when I was in elementary school' 형태가 자연스럽습니다.

× Uh, when I was younger, I read interesting book about science.

✓ Uh, when I was younger, I read interesting books about science.

단수형 'book' 대신 일반적인 경험을 말할 때 복수형 'books'를 사용해야 하고, 'interesting book about science'보다는 복수로 범위를 넓히는 것이 자연스럽습니다.

× And so I would after reading, after reading those books, I wanted to try to make various things use science.

✓ After reading those books, I wanted to try making various things using science.

중복된 표현('after reading, after reading')과 어순 문제가 있습니다. 'try to make various things use science'는 어색하므로 동명사와 전치사 구조 'try making various things using science'로 고쳐 의미가 명확해집니다.

× I'm interested in biology, especially because I want to be a pharmacist in the future.

✓ I'm interested in biology, especially because I want to be a pharmacist in the future.

이 문장은 문법적으로 올바르므로 변경할 필요가 없습니다. 단, 반복되는 'I, I, I studied those subject quite a lot these days.'와 이어지는 문장 수정 필요 (아래 항목).

× So I, I, I studied those subject quite a lot these days.

✓ So I have been studying those subjects quite a lot these days.

시제와 수 일치 오류가 있습니다. 'these days'를 쓰려면 현재완료 진행형 'have been studying'이 자연스럽고, 'subject'는 복수형 'subjects'로 맞춰야 합니다.

× As I mentioned before, I will I was really interested in biology and I grew my own plant based on biology subjects.

✓ As I mentioned before, I was really interested in biology and I grew my own plants based on what I learned in biology.

문장에 불필요한 'I will'이 들어가 있고 'plant'는 여러 번 기른 경험이라면 복수형 'plants'가 자연스럽습니다. 'based on biology subjects'는 어색하므로 'based on what I learned in biology'로 명확히 했습니다.

× So when I was younger I grew my own plant such as bagel ordeal and it is easy to understand the structure of plants through.

✓ So when I was younger I grew my own plants such as bagels and seedlings, and it was easy to understand the structure of plants through them.

문장이 매우 어색하고 단어 선택('bagel ordeal')이 잘못되었습니다. 의미에 따라 'bagels and seedlings' 등으로 바꾸었고, 문장 끝의 불완전한 구문을 'through them'으로 마무리했습니다. 또한 시제를 과거형으로 통일했습니다.

× One of my favorite TV programs is National Geographic, which which show a lot of various scientific knowledge and wild animals through those programs.

✓ One of my favorite TV programs is National Geographic, which shows a lot of scientific knowledge and features wild animals.

관계대명사 'which'가 가리키는 단수 'National Geographic'에 맞게 동사에 -s를 붙여 'shows'로 고쳐야 합니다. 'which which' 중복을 제거하고 'through those programs'는 불필요하므로 깔끔하게 정리했습니다.

× And I'm, I'm really interested in polar bears these days.

✓ And I'm really interested in polar bears these days.

중복된 'I'm, I'm'을 제거했습니다. 현재 시제 표현 'these days'와 잘 맞습니다.

× Yes, they do, because I I know that Chinese people wanted to know a lot of informations and those country are concentrated to make intelligent people, especially about science.

✓ Yes, they do, because I know that Chinese people want to learn a lot of information and that the country focuses on educating people, especially in science.

여러 시제와 수, 단어형태 오류가 있습니다. 'I I' 중복 제거, 'wanted'는 현재 일반적 사실을 말하므로 현재형 'want'로 수정, 'informations'는 불가산 명사 'information'으로 고치고, 'those country are concentrated to make intelligent people'는 어색하므로 'the country focuses on educating people'으로 자연스럽게 바꿨습니다.