自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Improve fluency and grammar: remove repetitions, correct verb forms and tense, and organize into a clear topic sentence plus one or two supporting details. Use linking words (e.g., however, so) and be concise (max 3–4 sentences). Also give a specific time reference and a short consequence or feeling.

示例: Yes, I did. I had a pink bicycle with a princess picture on it when I was about seven. However, it broke after only ten days, so I was very upset until my mother bought me a new one.

建议: Clarify subject-verb agreement and vocabulary, and organize into a clear opinion plus two specific reasons. Use linking words (e.g., because, for example) and give a concrete suggestion. Correct phrases like “bike lanes” and “in my country.” Keep to 2–3 sentences.

示例: Yes, bicycles are quite popular in my country because many people use them for short trips and exercise. However, cycling in cities is difficult because there are few dedicated bike lanes, so it would help if local governments built more safe bike lanes on major roads.

× Yes I I did I used to have a pink bicycle as a child with the Princess printed on it but it happens to broke down in I feel like 10 days.

✓ Yes, I did. I used to have a pink bicycle as a child with a princess printed on it, but it happened to break down after about ten days.

The student mixes past simple and present forms incorrectly: 'it happens to broke down' is wrong. Use past simple 'it happened' for a past event and the base verb 'break' after 'to' (infinitive) or use past simple 'broke'. Also 'in I feel like 10 days' is informal and incorrect; use 'after about ten days'. Capitalization of 'Princess' is unnecessary here. Suggestion: keep verbs in past tense for past events and use correct infinitive or past forms: 'it happened to break down' or 'it broke down'.

× I was very sad back then and but my mom just bought just bought me a new one.

✓ I was very sad back then, but my mom bought me a new one.

Redundant 'just bought just bought' and mixing of tense/modal words. For a past event, use past simple 'bought'. Remove the extra 'just' and the extra conjunction 'and'. Combine clauses with a single 'but'. Also add a comma before 'but' to join two independent clauses. Suggestion: proofread to remove word repetition and keep simple past tense for past actions.

× Yes it does in my country most of the people like riding bike but it's very hard for them to ride around the cities because they're no there's no actually bike lens.

✓ Yes, in my country most people like riding bikes, but it's very hard for them to ride around the cities because there are no bike lanes.

Multiple problems: 'it does' is unnecessary and mismatches the subject. Use 'Yes, in my country' to answer. 'Most of the people' is awkward; 'most people' is natural. 'Riding bike' needs plural noun 'bikes' or 'riding a bike'. The clause 'they're no there's no actually bike lens' is ungrammatical: 'there are no bike lanes' is correct subject-verb agreement and correct noun 'lanes' (not 'lens') and remove 'actually'. Suggestion: simplify the sentence, ensure subject-verb agreement with 'there are', pluralize countable nouns (bikes, lanes), and avoid filler words like 'actually'.

× And it would be good if the countries add more some bike lanes in the street and Rd.

✓ And it would be good if the country added more bike lanes on the streets and roads.

Errors: 'countries' should be singular 'country' to match context; 'add' should be past-subjunctive/conditional 'added' after 'would be good if'; 'more some' is redundant — use 'more' or 'some'; 'in the street and Rd' is incorrect preposition and abbreviation: use 'on the streets and roads'. Suggestion: use correct conditional structure ('would be good if... added'), remove redundant quantifiers, and use correct prepositions ('on the streets').