自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more fluent, concise and complete. Start with a clear topic sentence, remove fillers (ums, uhs), correct grammar (use past tense consistently), and finish the sentence fully. Add one or two brief supporting details (who gave it, what kind of bike, how you felt) using a linking word to connect ideas.

示例: Yes, I did. I received my first bike for my twelfth birthday from my parents, and it was a red mountain bike. Because I loved riding it, I spent most afternoons practicing on nearby trails and felt very proud to have my own bike.

建议: Give a direct, current opinion and support it with specific reasons and clearer grammar. Use linking words (for example, however, because, therefore) and avoid repetition. Be specific about time frames and who you mean by “people.”

示例: They were very popular about twenty years ago because public transport and cars were less affordable, so many people used bicycles for daily travel. However, today their popularity has declined in cities due to better public transit and more private cars, though bikes remain common in rural areas.

× Yes I did umm, it was about on my 12 thir 12 birthday, uh, I got my first own bike umm. As my birthday gift from my.

✓ Yes, I did. It was on my twelfth birthday; I got my first bike as a birthday gift.

Errors: word order, article use, number form, unnecessary words. 'about on my 12 thir 12 birthday' is ungrammatical—use 'on my twelfth birthday'. 'first own bike' is unnatural; 'first bike' or 'my first bike' is correct. 'As my birthday gift from my.' is incomplete and redundant; simply 'as a birthday gift' or 'as a birthday gift from my parents' if specifying. Suggestions: use correct ordinal 'twelfth', remove filler words, use articles 'a' and 'my' appropriately, and complete phrases. Keep sentence simple and clear.

× In my country, about 20 years ago, it was very popular among the people because at that time the transport technology were not was not very. Developed so almost everyone.

✓ In my country about 20 years ago, bicycles were very popular because transport technology was not very developed, so almost everyone used them.

Errors: subject-verb agreement and sentence structure. 'it was very popular' is unclear—use plural 'bicycles were very popular' to match subject. 'the transport technology were not was not very. Developed' contains repetition and incorrect verb form; use singular 'transport technology was not very developed'. Also sentence fragments and punctuation errors; combine into one coherent sentence and include subject for 'used them' or similar. Suggestions: ensure subject and verb agree in number, avoid repeated verbs, use correct word order 'not very developed', and complete the idea (e.g., 'so almost everyone used them').