自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details with correct tense and reduced repetition. Use linking words like “and” or “so” sparingly and choose past tense consistently when describing childhood events.

示例: Yes. I had a bike that my mother gave me when I was seven. My brother and I rode it every afternoon after our nap, which created many happy memories. I still remember how excited I was when I first received it.

建议: Improve sentence clarity and coherence. Give a clear topic sentence, then support it with specific reasons and use linking words like “because” and “also” correctly. Avoid repetition and correct subject-verb agreement and tense. Mention one concrete example (e.g., cycling lanes added) to support your point.

示例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country. This is partly cultural, but their use also increased during the pandemic because people wanted safer, healthier transport. For example, many cities installed new cycling lanes, which encouraged more people to ride regularly.

× It was given by my mother when I was 7 years old and my brother, my brother and I are used to playing with it every afternoon after our afternoon nap.

✓ It was given to me by my mother when I was seven years old, and my brother and I used to play with it every afternoon after our nap.

The sentence mixes past simple and present-tense habitual phrasing. Use 'given to me' for correct passive verb object and 'used to play' (past habitual) to match the past timeframe. Also remove the repeated phrase 'my brother,' and use 'seven' for style consistency. Suggestion: Keep past reference consistent by using past simple and past habitual forms and correct passive construction (given to me).

× So it was a great memory and I remember we are so happy.

✓ So it was a great memory, and I remember we were so happy.

The clause 'I remember we are so happy' mixes past memory with present tense 'are.' The remembered event should be in past tense: 'we were so happy.' Use past tense to maintain temporal consistency. Suggestion: When recalling past events, use past tense throughout the sentence.

× I am so happy when I received it.

✓ I was so happy when I received it.

The sentence incorrectly uses present tense 'I am' with a past time reference 'when I received it.' Change 'am' to past 'was' to match the past event. Suggestion: Align the main verb tense with the time reference in the clause.

× Yes, bikes are popular because it's part of our our culture and and it was, we used it more during the pandemic because people are trying to be healthy and now we have this cycling lane and people are engaged to move.

✓ Yes, bikes are popular because they are part of our culture, and we used them more during the pandemic because people were trying to be healthy. Now we have cycling lanes and people are more engaged in cycling.

Multiple problems: 'it's' (it is) incorrectly refers to plural 'bikes' so use 'they are.' 'Our our' and repeated 'and and' are redundancies. 'It was, we used it more' mixes structures and uses singular pronoun 'it' for plural. Use past progressive 'were trying' or past simple 'tried' for pandemic context; here 'were trying' is appropriate. 'Cycling lane' singular should match general statement as plural 'cycling lanes.' 'People are engaged to move' is unidiomatic; use 'engaged in cycling' or 'more active.' Suggestion: Ensure pronouns agree in number with their antecedents, remove repeated words, keep tense consistent for the time referenced, and use idiomatic expressions like 'engaged in cycling'.