自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Overall this is a natural and coherent response with good personal detail. To improve further, make your answer slightly more concise (avoid minor redundancy) and add one linking word to connect ideas smoothly. Also correct small grammar issues (e.g., “fit” → “fit my size” or “fit me”) and avoid dangling phrases at the end. Aim for 3–4 sentences that directly answer, support with one specific detail, and finish cleanly.

示例: Yes, I did. I got my first bike at 13 when I started secondary school because my parents wanted me to ride to school. It was a small orange bike that fit me well, so I rode it every day and felt really excited about it.

建议: Good content and relevant points, but the response has grammar and coherence issues and is slightly repetitive. Use clearer linking words (e.g., however, although) and correct verb tenses (e.g., “has started” or “has been encouraging”). Avoid filler phrases like “by the way” and finish the final sentence. Provide one specific example or statistic to strengthen your answer. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

示例: Bikes are popular in big Chinese cities because of frequent traffic congestion, and the government has encouraged cycling for commuting. However, in smaller towns like my hometown, cycling is less common because public transport is limited and distances can be long, so people still rely on cars or buses.

× I remember the first bike I got was at the age of 13.

✓ I remember the first bike I got was when I was 13.

The original phrase 'at the age of 13' is not wrong grammatically but 'when I was 13' is more natural in spoken English for describing the time someone received something. Use 'when I was 13' to match conversational past-tense narration.

× Back then I was about to start secondary school.

✓ Back then I was about to start secondary school.

No correction needed. Sentence correctly uses past continuous context 'was about to' to indicate an action in the past that was imminent. Keep as is.

× My parents thought I needed a bike to ride to school, so they took me to a bike store and I picked this orange one.

✓ My parents thought I needed a bike to ride to school, so they took me to a bike store and I picked an orange one.

Article use: 'this orange one' is acceptable, but 'an orange one' is more natural when introducing which bike you chose in past narration. The grammar error category applied is article/third-person selection context; the main change is article choice for naturalness while keeping past tense consistent.

× It's not a big bike but pretty much fit in my size, so I was quite excited to get it and rode it to school every day.

✓ It wasn't a big bike but it pretty much fit my size, so I was quite excited to get it and rode it to school every day.

Tense consistency and auxiliary: The narrative is in the past, so 'It's' should be 'It wasn't'. Also add 'it' before 'pretty much fit' for grammatical completeness. 'Fit' here is simple past and correct; ensure past-tense consistency throughout the sentence.

× I liked it.

✓ I liked it.

No correction needed. Simple past 'liked' correctly matches the past narrative.

× It's definitely a trend in big cities in China, by the way, which is my home country, because there are a lot more traffic congestion happening every day.

✓ It's definitely a trend in big cities in China, by the way, which is my home country, because there is a lot more traffic congestion every day.

Subject-verb agreement and wording: 'traffic congestion' is an uncountable noun and requires singular verb 'is' rather than 'are'. Also 'happening' is unnecessary; 'traffic congestion every day' is more natural.

× So the government had started encouraging citizens to ride bike to work and school.

✓ So the government started encouraging citizens to ride bikes to work and school.

Tense and noun number: Use simple past 'started' to match narration rather than past perfect 'had started' which requires a reference earlier in the past. Also 'ride bike' is missing plural or article; use 'ride bikes' (general statement) or 'ride a bike'.

× But in small cities in China, like my hometown, it can never become a phenomena because the public transport is not quite convenient, so.

✓ But in small cities in China, like my hometown, it can never become a phenomenon because public transport is not very convenient.

Pluralization and word choice: 'phenomena' is the plural of 'phenomenon'; here a singular 'phenomenon' is needed. 'The public transport' is better as 'public transport' or 'the public transport system'; 'not quite convenient' is awkward—use 'not very convenient'. Remove trailing 'so.' which leaves the sentence incomplete.