自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Improve grammar, clarity and coherence. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct past-tense verbs and possessives, and avoid redundancy. Use one or two supporting details linked logically (for example using 'because' or 'and'). Keep to under five sentences. Be specific about who gave the bike, when, and what you did with it.

示例: Yes — I had a bicycle when I was a child. My parents bought it for my tenth birthday, and I rode it every day to visit friends and explore the neighborhood. Because it helped me gain confidence and independence, it became an important part of my childhood.

建议: Clarify your opinion with correct sentence structure and vocabulary. Begin with a direct topic sentence stating whether bikes are popular. Give one or two specific reasons using linking words like 'because' or 'however' and correct nouns (e.g., 'motorbikes', 'infrastructure'). Avoid filler phrases like 'from my perception' and ensure subject-verb agreement.

示例: I don't think bicycles are very popular in my country. Because our roads and commuting distances favour motorbikes and cars, most people choose those for speed and convenience. However, bicycles are gaining popularity in some cities for health and environmental reasons.

× When I was a child my parent washed me, bought it as a gift for my birthday and I as long as I remembered.

✓ When I was a child my parents bought it as a birthday gift and I remember it for as long as I can.

The original sentence has pronoun and subject issues: 'parent' should be plural 'parents' if both parents acted; 'washed me' is incorrect contextually and likely unintended, so it is removed; 'bought it as a gift for my birthday' is reordered to natural English 'bought it as a birthday gift'; 'and I as long as I remembered' is ungrammatical — corrected to 'and I remember it for as long as I can' to match present recollection. Suggestion: use correct subject number (singular/plural) and choose appropriate verbs; keep tense consistent (past action by parents, present memory).

× I use this a lot and it can be be an integral part of my childhood.

✓ I used it a lot and it was an integral part of my childhood.

The original mixes present tense 'use' with past 'my childhood' and repeats 'be' ('be be'). This is a sentence structure and tense consistency problem. The activity and its role both belong in the past, so change 'use' to past 'used' and 'can be' to past 'was'. Remove the duplicated word 'be'. Suggestion: ensure verb tense matches the time reference and proofread to remove duplicated words.

× I from my perception, I think Mari is not really popular in my country because it's we prefer something more flexible and faster like motorbike according to ours infrastructure.

✓ In my view, bikes are not really popular in my country because we prefer something more flexible and faster, like motorbikes, given our infrastructure.

The original sentence has several structure and word-choice problems: 'I from my perception' is ungrammatical; 'Mari' appears to be a typo for 'bikes' or 'they' — corrected to 'bikes'; 'it's we prefer' is incorrect pronoun and structure; 'like motorbike' should be plural 'motorbikes' to match general statement; 'according to ours infrastructure' is incorrect; correct phrase is 'given our infrastructure' or 'because of our infrastructure'. Suggestion: start with a clear opinion phrase ('In my view'), use correct subject nouns and plural forms for general statements, and use prepositions correctly ('given' or 'because of').