自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Use correct past tense and avoid redundancy. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Keep it within 3–4 sentences and correct repetitions (e.g., remove duplicate words like "at a park").

示例: Yes, I had a bike when I was about 13. I often rode it around my neighborhood to visit friends, and sometimes my family and I would take it to a nearby park for picnics. Because the park was close to our house, cycling there was quick and convenient.

建议: Organize the answer with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific reasons using linking words. Correct small errors ("bikes bicycle lanes" → "bicycle lanes") and avoid wordiness. Use a wider range of vocabulary (e.g., "prevalent", "infrastructure").

示例: No, cycling is not very popular in Indonesia. Mainly people prefer motorbikes and cars, and there is a lack of dedicated bicycle lanes in most cities. Consequently, cyclists must share busy roads with motorized traffic, which makes cycling risky and discourages many from riding regularly.

× Yes, I own a bike when I was around 13 years old.

✓ I owned a bike when I was around 13 years old.

The sentence mixes present simple 'own' with a past time reference 'when I was around 13 years old'. Use past simple 'owned' to match the past time frame. Suggestion: Use consistent past tense for actions that happened in the past: 'I owned a bike when I was around 13.'

× Sometimes I would go outside and use my bike to get around the neighborhood, but other times I would bring the bike with me to play with my family in a park at a park nearby our place.

✓ Sometimes I would go outside and use my bike to get around the neighborhood, but other times I would bring it with me to play with my family in a nearby park.

Problems: incorrect/redundant preposition phrase 'in a park at a park nearby our place' and repetitive article use 'the bike' after already mentioning 'my bike'. Fix by using the pronoun 'it' to avoid repetition and a single correct prepositional phrase 'in a nearby park' to indicate location. Suggestion: Replace repeated noun with pronoun and simplify location phrases: '...bring it with me to play with my family in a nearby park.'

× Unfortunately, that is not the case in our country.

✓ Unfortunately, that is not the case in my country.

The student refers to their own country; using 'our country' can be ambiguous when speaking generally. 'My country' is clearer and more natural in this context. Suggestion: Use 'my country' when referring to the country you belong to: 'that is not the case in my country.'

× People usually own their own motorbikes or cars, and we do not have dedicated bikes bicycle lanes in most cities in Indonesia.

✓ People usually own motorbikes or cars, and we do not have dedicated bicycle lanes in most cities in Indonesia.

Redundancy: 'own their own' is repetitive; use 'own' once. Also 'bikes bicycle lanes' repeats the idea and mixes forms. Use 'bicycle lanes' or 'bike lanes'. Suggestion: Remove repetition and choose one form: 'People usually own motorbikes or cars, and we do not have dedicated bicycle lanes...'.

× As a result, cyclists often have to share busy roads, motorized traffic, which can be dangerous and discourages many people from cycling regularly.

✓ As a result, cyclists often have to share busy roads with motorized traffic, which can be dangerous and discourages many people from cycling regularly.

The sentence incorrectly places a comma between 'roads' and 'motorized traffic', breaking the necessary prepositional phrase. It needs 'with' to link 'roads' and 'motorized traffic'. The structure 'which can be dangerous and discourages...' mixes a clause describing the situation; it's acceptable but ensure clarity. Suggestion: Use the preposition 'with' to combine objects: 'share busy roads with motorized traffic'. Also consider parallel structure: 'which can be dangerous and can discourage many people...' if you want parallel verbs.