自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g. “Yes, I had a bike when I was a child.”), correct tense and time expressions, reduce hesitations (ums/likes), and add one or two specific supporting details (where you rode it, who taught you, how you felt). Use linking words like “and” or “so” to connect ideas. Keep to a maximum of about 3–4 sentences.

示例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I got it about five years ago and my older brother taught me how to ride in our local park. At first I was nervous, but after a few tries I felt more confident and enjoyed cycling every weekend.

建议: Answer directly and support your opinion with clear, specific reasons. Avoid filler words and long unclear clauses. Use linking words (for example, “because”, “however”, “also”) to organize reasons: safety, convenience, weather, culture, infrastructure. Keep answers to 2–3 concise sentences and include one specific example or comparison.

示例: I don't think bikes are very popular in my country. Most people prefer cars because they feel safer and more comfortable, especially in bad weather; for instance, many families drive to work and school rather than cycle. However, cycling is becoming more common in cities with new bike lanes.

× OK, so, umm, yes, I've had, I've had a bike for the like five years ago and that was a very, you know, like a new invention for me because I've never, I've never ridden a bike before.

✓ OK, so, umm, yes, I had a bike about five years ago and that was, you know, a completely new experience for me because I had never ridden a bike before.

The student mixes present perfect ('I've had') with a specific past time expression ('five years ago'), which is incorrect; simple past should be used for finished past events. Use 'about five years ago' with simple past 'I had'. Also 'new invention' is wrong collocation for personal experience; 'new experience' is appropriate. Use past perfect 'had never ridden' to show the action occurred before getting the bike. Suggestion: use simple past for completed past time and past perfect to show earlier past events. Example improvement: 'I had a bike about five years ago, and I had never ridden a bike before then.'

× It was a completely new thing for me and I was very excited to try it.

✓ It was a completely new experience for me and I was very excited to try it.

This sentence is mostly correct but 'new thing' is informal and awkward; 'new experience' is a better collocation. Tenses are consistent (simple past) so keep them. Suggestion: prefer natural collocations: 'new experience'. Note: Categorized under Past tense issue because sentence refers to a past event and uses past tense correctly but needs lexical correction.

× No, not really. I believe most people would go for a car for transportation since like you could turn, they see all on and uh, it wouldn't really matter in the sense of like you're much, much safer because you know, it's a closed place and uh, you could always, uh, switch on your favorite music while it's driving, which is very, uh, great.

✓ No, not really. I believe most people would choose a car for transportation because you can turn on the air conditioning, it's a closed space so you are generally safer, and you can play your favorite music while driving, which is very nice.

Multiple problems: 'go for a car' is acceptable but 'choose a car' is clearer. 'since like you could turn, they see all on' is unintelligible and seems to attempt 'turn the A/C on'—this is a preposition/word choice issue (Incorrect use of prepositions and pronouns). 'it wouldn't really matter in the sense of like you're much, much safer' has pronoun and sentence structure issues; 'you are' fits. 'while it's driving' incorrectly uses 'it' for the driver; must be 'while driving' or 'while you are driving'—this is incorrect pronoun use and gerund form. Overall use simple present/modal: 'would choose' consistent for general preference. Suggestions: simplify sentences, use correct pronouns ('you' for the person) and correct verb forms ('play music while driving').