自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct tense and article errors (e.g., “in first grade”, “a brand-new bike”), and avoid redundancy (remove repeated words and phrases).

示例: Yes – I had a bike when I was in first grade. My father bought me a brand-new bike, and he patiently taught me how to ride it, which made me feel more confident. As a result, I was proud of myself for learning a new skill quickly.

建议: Make the response more direct and use clearer linking words. Use present simple for general facts and correct awkward phrasing (e.g., “it grants them the chance” not “is grant grants”). Provide one specific example or brief reason. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

示例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country. For example, when I go out for breakfast I often see many people cycling around their neighborhoods. This is because cycling is an easy way to get fresh air and stay healthy.

× Yes, I did own a bike when I was in my first grade and at at the time I was very excited because my dad just bought me a brand new bike even though I didn't know how to ride it yet.

✓ Yes, I owned a bike when I was in first grade, and at that time I was very excited because my dad had just bought me a brand new bike even though I did not know how to ride it yet.

The original mixes simple past with 'did own' which is redundant; use simple past 'owned'. 'At at the time' is a typographical error; use 'at that time'. Use past perfect 'had just bought' to show the purchase happened before the excitement. Use 'did not' instead of contraction for clarity in formal correction; maintain past reference for 'know'. Suggestions: use simple past for completed past events, and past perfect to sequence two past events when one occurred before the other.

× My dad had assisted me in the journey of learning, riding the bike immensely so that I can felt more confident and also proud of myself.

✓ My dad assisted me a great deal in learning to ride the bike so that I could feel more confident and proud of myself.

The phrase 'had assisted' is acceptable but inconsistent with surrounding simple past; using simple past 'assisted' is smoother. 'In the journey of learning, riding the bike' is awkward; use 'in learning to ride the bike'. 'Can felt' mixes present modal with past tense; use past modal 'could feel'. 'Immenseley' placement was incorrect; move 'a great deal' to modify 'assisted'. Suggestions: keep tense consistent, use 'learning to ride' for verb patterns, and use appropriate modal for ability in past ('could').

× Yes, I do think so because whenever I went out with my friends to have some sort of breakfast, I saw so many people cycling around their neighborhood.

✓ Yes, I do think so because whenever I go out with my friends to have breakfast, I see many people cycling around their neighborhood.

The question asks about a general current fact, so use present tense 'go' and 'see' instead of past 'went' and 'saw'. 'Some sort of breakfast' is wordy; 'have breakfast' is natural. 'So many' is informal; 'many' is preferable in this context. Suggestions: use present simple for habitual actions and general truths.

× I think one of the main reasons that people prefer cycling is that is grant grants them some opportunity to enjoy some fresh air and also improve their health.

✓ I think one of the main reasons people prefer cycling is that it grants them the opportunity to enjoy fresh air and improve their health.

The clause contains errors: duplicate 'is' and 'grant grants'. Use 'it grants' to refer back to cycling. 'Some opportunity' is vague; 'the opportunity' is clearer. Remove redundant 'also' when listing two coordinated outcomes. Suggestions: avoid repetition, ensure the pronoun correctly refers to the subject, and choose definitive articles for specific opportunities.