自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be concise, use correct tense, and organize your answer: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid filler words and repetition.

示例: No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child. I always wanted one because I loved the idea of riding to the park, but my family couldn't afford to buy a bike at that time. As a result, I often walked with my sister instead.

建议: Give a clear topic sentence and support it with specific examples and linking words. Remove hesitations and use more precise vocabulary (e.g., ‘popular’, ‘common’, ‘recreational activity’). Mention reasons or trends briefly.

示例: Yes, bikes are very popular in the Philippines. For example, cycling became widespread during the pandemic as people looked for safe outdoor exercise, and many teenagers and adults joined local rides. I also took part in a bicycle event in Cebu, which shows how common it is.

× No, I don't have a bike.

✓ No, I didn't have a bike.

The question asks about the past ('when you were a child'), so the student should use past tense. 'Don't have' is present tense; change to 'didn't have' to match the time reference.

× I dream.

✓ I used to dream.

The student is referring to past habitual thoughts as a child. 'I dream' is present tense; use 'I used to dream' or 'I would dream' to indicate past habitual action.

× I always dream about having a bike.

✓ I always dreamed about having a bike.

Because the context is childhood, the action should be in the past. 'Dream' as present or present continuous is incorrect; use past simple 'dreamed' (or 'dreamt') to match the time frame.

× However, you don't have like enough budget in order to, in order like to buy, uh, you buy just for me or my sister.

✓ However, my family didn't have enough money to buy one for me or my sister.

Multiple issues: incorrect subject 'you' instead of 'my family', awkward filler words ('like', 'in order to') and incorrect tense. Replace with a clear past-tense sentence: 'my family didn't have enough money to buy one for me or my sister.' This fixes subject reference, verb tense, and removes unnecessary fillers.

× Yes, it's very popular here in the Philippines.

✓ Yes, it's very popular here in the Philippines.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable. 'It's' (it is) correctly refers to 'bikes' as a general topic. No change needed.

× It's like one of the most famous sports, uh, being played by by teenagers and adults.

✓ It's one of the most popular activities among teenagers and adults.

'Famous' is not the best word for frequency of participation; 'popular' or 'common' fits better. Also 'sports being played by' is awkward for cycling as a mode of transport or activity. Reword to 'one of the most popular activities among teenagers and adults' and remove filler words and the repeated 'by'.

× And during the pandemic, I also, uh, once participated in a bicycle event here in Cebu.

✓ And during the pandemic, I also once participated in a bicycle event here in Cebu.

This sentence is mostly correct but contains filler 'uh' and an extra comma. Use past simple 'participated' (already correct). Remove fillers and extra punctuation for fluency: 'I also once participated in a bicycle event here in Cebu.'