自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be concise and accurate: start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (tense and articles), avoid repetition, and add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Keep answers to no more than five sentences. For example, correct verb forms ('borrowed') and avoid repeating phrases ('we fell and'). Add a brief detail about the memory and its effect (feeling or consequence).

示例: I didn’t have my own bike as a child; I usually borrowed one from my cousin. We enjoyed riding together, and I remember once when we rode too fast and fell, which scared me but taught me to be more careful. That memory still makes me smile because we laughed about it afterward.

建议: Give a direct topic sentence, use correct tense and concise phrasing, and finish your thought with specific supporting details and linking words. Avoid vague endings. For example, state whether bikes are still popular now, then explain reasons (cost, convenience) and contrast past and present using linking words like 'however' or 'nowadays.'

示例: In the past, bikes were a common form of transportation because they were cheap and practical. However, nowadays many people prefer motorcycles or cars for speed and convenience, although bikes remain popular among students and for short trips in cities.

× I didn't have my own bike when I was a child.

✓ I didn't have my own bike when I was a child.

No correction needed; sentence is grammatical. (Included to show no article error here.)

× I only borrow.

✓ I only borrowed.

The context is past (when I was a child), so present simple 'borrow' is incorrect. Use past simple 'borrowed' to match the past timeframe. Suggestion: Keep verb tense consistent with the time reference; use past simple for past events.

× I only borrowed from my cousin.

✓ I only borrowed one from my cousin.

The sentence 'I only borrowed from my cousin' is missing an object for 'borrowed' which makes it unclear. Add 'one' (one bike) to clarify the object. Maintain past tense 'borrowed' to match the narrative.

× We, the both of us enjoyed riding the bike and I cannot forget that there is one time that we fell.

✓ The two of us enjoyed riding the bike, and I cannot forget one time when we fell.

Problems: awkward phrase 'We, the both of us' and incorrect time clause 'there is one time that we fell.' Use 'the two of us' for natural expression and 'one time when we fell' to refer to a past event. Also keep tense consistent: 'cannot forget' refers to present memory of a past event, so 'when we fell' is correct. Suggestion: Use natural subject phrases and 'when' for time clauses referring to events.

× We we fell and.

✓ We fell once and got a few scratches.

Original is incomplete and has a duplicated 'we'. Provide a complete clause describing result of the fall. Ensure subject-verb structure is complete and avoid repetition. Suggestion: Finish the sentence with a clause describing consequences or simply 'We fell.' if you want brevity.

× Way back then I can say that bike is the basic transportation used by the people in our society because it is just cheap or it is affordable.

✓ Back then I would say that the bike was the basic form of transportation used by people in our community because it was cheap and affordable.

Tense inconsistency: 'Way back then' refers to the past, so modal 'can say' and present 'is' should be shifted to past. Use 'would say' or 'could say' for reported opinion about the past, and 'was' for past state. Also use 'the bike' or 'bicycles' and 'form of transportation' sounds natural. Combine 'cheap' and 'affordable' more smoothly. Suggestion: Match verb tenses to the time frame and choose definite/appropriate nouns ('the bike' or 'bicycles').

× But as I observe today, most of the people here.

✓ But as I observe today, most people here use cars or motorcycles.

Original ends abruptly and lacks a main verb or completion. Provide a verb phrase to complete the sentence, matching present observation about today. Ensure subject-verb-object structure is present. Suggestion: Complete the sentence by stating what most people do now (use cars, prefer motorcycles, etc.).