自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be direct and use a clear topic sentence, correct tense and word order, and avoid redundancy. Use 2–4 short sentences with linking words (e.g., “and”, “so”, “then”) and more precise vocabulary (e.g., “go shopping”, “groceries”). Also correct grammar: use past simple for past habits (I had / I rode) and correct verb forms (ride → rode, move → went).

示例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I rode it home from school most days, and then I would cycle around the neighbourhood with my father. We often went to local shops to buy groceries.

建议: Give a clear topic sentence, correct collocations, and more specific supporting details. Avoid filler sounds (uh) and incorrect word choices (use “commute”, not “communicate”; use plural agreement). Use linking words (because, so, for example) and provide one or two concrete examples or statistics if possible.

示例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are cheap and convenient. For example, many people commute to work or school by bicycle, and couriers use bikes for quick deliveries in crowded city centres.

× When yes I have a bike in my childhood I usually came from my school.

✓ When I was a child I had a bike; I usually rode it when I came home from school.

The original sentence has incorrect word order, tense, and verb forms. 'When yes I have a bike in my childhood' should be 'When I was a child I had a bike' (past tense and correct time expression). 'I usually came from my school' is awkward and missing the action with the bike; use 'I usually rode it when I came home from school.' Suggestion: place time expression first, use past tense for past situations, and include the correct verb for riding a bike.

× Then I started ride with my father and we move here and there to the shops to buy eating things.

✓ Then I started riding with my father and we moved here and there to the shops to buy food.

Errors: 'started ride' requires the -ing form after 'start' (verb + -ing). 'We move' should be past tense 'we moved' to match the past narrative. 'Eating things' is unnatural; use 'food.' Suggestion: after 'start' use the gerund, and keep past tense consistent throughout the story.

× Well, yes, bikes are uh very popular in my country because they are very cheap and convenient mode of transportation.

✓ Well, yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are a very cheap and convenient mode of transportation.

Missing article: 'convenient mode' needs an article 'a' before it. Also redundant 'uh' removed for clarity. Suggestion: use 'a' before singular noun phrases like 'a mode of transportation.'

× Many people use them to communicate to work or school uh bicycles for a quick deliveries in crowded city areas.

✓ Many people use them to commute to work or school, and bicycles are used for quick deliveries in crowded city areas.

Incorrect verb and preposition: 'communicate to work' should be 'commute to work.' The sentence also lacks proper conjunctions and has pluralization errors 'a quick deliveries.' Suggested correction separates ideas: 'commute to work or school' and 'bicycles are used for quick deliveries.' Use plural 'deliveries' without 'a.'

× Many people use them to communicate to work or school uh bicycles for a quick deliveries in crowded city areas.

✓ Many people use them to commute to work or school, and bicycles are used for quick deliveries in crowded city areas.

Subject-verb agreement: original sentence mixes subjects and verbs incorrectly. 'Bicycles for a quick deliveries' is ungrammatical; the verb 'are used' is required to link subject 'bicycles' to the action, and 'a' should be removed before plural 'deliveries.' Suggestion: restructure the sentence into two coordinated clauses and ensure verbs agree with their subjects.