自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct some grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words (for example, 'because' or 'so') and avoid unfinished sentences. Also correct plural/singular and article usage (e.g., 'a regular bike with training wheels', 'my grandfather and my father').

示例: Yes. My first bike was a regular bike with training wheels, and my grandfather and father taught me to ride it when I was about five. Because I saw my older brother riding a bigger bike, I practiced quickly so I could use a larger one within a few months.

建议: Give a direct topic sentence then support it with a specific reason and an example. Use linking words such as 'however' or 'because' to connect ideas and expand slightly to reach a natural length (2–3 sentences).

示例: They are less popular now. Because public transport and cars are more convenient in cities, most people use bikes only for exercise or weekend leisure rather than daily commuting.

× My first bike was the regular bikes with the little wheels on the sides.

✓ My first bike was a regular bike with little wheels on the sides.

The subject 'My first bike' is singular, so the complement must also be singular. The original mixes singular 'My first bike' with plural 'bikes'. Use 'a regular bike' to match singular and use 'little wheels' (plural) for the two side wheels. Also remove unnecessary 'the' before 'little wheels'.

× And my grandpa and my dad, they taught me how to ride the bike.

✓ My grandpa and my dad taught me how to ride a bike.

The sentence is grammatically okay but has redundancy and article issues. Remove the unnecessary pronoun 'they' after the subject. Use 'a bike' instead of 'the bike' because it refers to riding in general, not a specific bike. This improves naturalness and clarity.

× And then of course I was seeing my brother using a bigger bike.

✓ And then, of course, I saw my brother using a bigger bike.

The verb 'see' in this context should be simple past 'saw' to describe a past observation. 'Was seeing' (past continuous) implies a continuous action and is unnatural here. Use commas around 'of course' for clarity.

× So I was in a rush to learn and to go move on to the bigger bikes, the one for the.

✓ So I was in a rush to learn and move on to bigger bikes, the ones for older children.

The original has awkward phrasing and an incomplete clause 'the one for the.' Use 'move on to bigger bikes' (parallel verb forms) and 'the ones for older children' to complete the idea and correct number agreement: 'bikes' (plural) pairs with 'ones' (plural). Also remove redundant 'to go'.

× Not so popular anymore.

✓ They're not so popular anymore.

This sentence is a fragment lacking a subject and verb. The question asks about bikes in general, so use 'They're' (they are) to refer to 'bikes'. This provides a complete sentence in present tense describing the current situation.

× Now bikes are more like a weekend hobby and it's not the main way to move around.

✓ Now bikes are more like a weekend hobby, and they are not the main way to get around.

Use 'they are' to refer back to 'bikes' instead of 'it's' (which is singular). Also 'get around' is a more natural phrasal verb than 'move around' in this context. The definite article use was incorrect because 'it's' implied singular; correcting subject-verb agreement resolves the issue.