学习— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and combine related ideas into fewer sentences. Start with a clear topic sentence stating your status, then briefly add one or two supporting details (when you will finish and future study plans). Avoid repetition (e.g., "admire and like"). Use linking words like "and" or "so" to connect ideas smoothly.

示例: I’m a public health student at Southern New Hampshire University and I’ll finish my degree in June 2026. After graduation, I plan to pursue a master’s in healthcare leadership because I want to manage a hospital in the future.

建议: Give a slightly richer answer by adding one specific detail about the university that is relevant to you (e.g., program format or a strong department). Use one sentence for location and another short supporting sentence with linking words like "and" or "which".

示例: I study at Southern New Hampshire University in the United States, in New Hampshire. It offers flexible online programs, which is why I chose it.

建议: Avoid minor grammar mistakes and redundancy. Use a clear topic sentence to answer directly, then add one specific reason with a linking word. Correct subject-verb agreement ("who want") and streamline repeated phrases.

示例: Yes, it’s a great place to study because it offers flexible online programs and strong support for international students, which suits busy learners like me.

建议: Be more precise and correct grammar. Start with a clear statement (Yes/No and why). Use one or two supporting details and link them clearly. Fix errors: "self-paced program" (drop extra word), "live instruction" not "life instructions", "on my own time" not "by my own time", and avoid repetition. Offer a specific change you'd like the university to make.

示例: Yes, I would. Because the program is self-paced, I rarely get live instruction, which can feel isolating. I would like more scheduled live sessions or group discussions so students feel more engaged.

建议: Make the sentence grammatically correct and concise. Use a clear topic sentence and one reason. Avoid repeating "in the future."

示例: I plan to pursue a master’s degree in healthcare leadership because I aspire to become a hospital manager.

× I am currently a public health student at Southern New Hampshire University.

✓ I am currently a public health student at Southern New Hampshire University.

No correction needed; sentence correctly uses present continuous to describe current status.

× I'll be finishing my studies in June 2026.

✓ I'll finish my studies in June 2026.

Both forms can be acceptable; however, using 'I'll finish' is more natural for a definite future time. Use simple future for scheduled completions rather than future continuous when referring to finishing at a specific time.

× After that, I'm planning to study a master's degree in healthcare leadership.

✓ After that, I'm planning to study for a master's degree in healthcare leadership.

The verb 'study' usually collocates with the preposition 'for' when referring to pursuing a degree. Add 'for' to form the correct collocation: 'study for a master's degree'.

× I really admire and like the path that I chose because in the future I plan to manage a hospital.

✓ I really admire the path I chose because in the future I plan to manage a hospital.

Using both 'admire and like' is redundant; choose one verb. Also, 'that' is unnecessary here. Simplifying improves clarity and style.

× I study at Southern New Hampshire University.

✓ I study at Southern New Hampshire University.

No correction needed; present simple appropriately states where the student studies.

× It's a university located in New Hampshire in the United States.

✓ It's a university located in New Hampshire, in the United States.

Add a comma for clarity between the state and the country. The articles are correct.

× I chose this university because it offers very flexible online programs and a strong support for international students.

✓ I chose this university because it offers very flexible online programs and strong support for international students.

'Support' here is an uncountable noun, so the article 'a' is incorrect. Remove 'a' to correctly use the uncountable noun 'support'.

× So yes, it's a very good place to study, especially for busy people who wants more flexible programs.

✓ So yes, it's a very good place to study, especially for busy people who want more flexible programs.

Subject-verb agreement error: 'people' is plural, so the verb should be 'want' not 'wants'.

× I would love to because the program that I'm studying is self-paced program which means that I don't get a life instructions from my instructor.

✓ I would love to because the program I'm studying is a self-paced program, which means that I don't get live instructions from my instructor.

Multiple issues: missing article before 'self-paced program' (use 'a self-paced program'); 'life instructions' is incorrect word choice—should be 'live instructions'; add comma before 'which' to separate the nonrestrictive clause.

× I usually finish my lectures by my own time at my own base, which is sometimes quite boring.

✓ I usually finish my lectures at my own pace and on my own schedule, which is sometimes quite boring.

'By my own time at my own base' is unidiomatic. Use 'at my own pace' and 'on my own schedule' as correct prepositional phrases and collocations.

× My future study plans is to pursue a master's degree in healthcare leadership because I aspire to be a hospital manager in the future.

✓ My future study plans are to pursue a master's degree in healthcare leadership because I aspire to be a hospital manager in the future.

Subject-verb agreement: 'plans' is plural, so the verb must be 'are' not 'is'.