学习— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Your answer is informative but a bit long and slightly repetitive. Try to be more concise and avoid redundancy. Also, improve sentence structure and grammar for clarity. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

示例: I'm currently pursuing a master's degree in Business Management. I've had wonderful lecturers who support me by answering my questions. Although it's early, I've already started preparing my thesis and aim to finish it by the end of this semester.

建议: Your answer is clear and descriptive but could be more concise and better structured. Use linking words to connect your points and avoid repeating similar ideas. Also, use more precise vocabulary and correct grammar.

示例: I study at Spirits University in Trukia, which has a serene and beautiful location. It's conveniently close to many facilities that support students. Additionally, the friendly international student body helps address any student concerns.

建议: Your answer repeats phrases and is somewhat wordy. Try to avoid repetition and use clearer sentence structures. Use linking words to organize your ideas logically and be more specific about the amenities and fairness you mention.

示例: Yes, it is a great place to study because it offers essential amenities that support student success. Moreover, it provides equal opportunities for students from diverse backgrounds to excel academically.

建议: Your answer is incomplete and unclear. Try to complete your thoughts and avoid filler words like 'uh'. Use clear and grammatically correct sentences. Provide specific details about the changes you want.

示例: Yes, I would like the university to improve the meals provided in the dormitories because sometimes the food is undercooked or overcooked, which affects its quality.

建议: Your answer covers your plans well but could be more structured and formal. Avoid informal phrases like 'wanna' and use linking words to connect your ideas. Also, try to be more concise and clear.

示例: In the near future, I plan to find a job or internship to gain experience and save funds. In the long term, I hope to pursue a PhD and publish articles to strengthen my CV and improve my job prospects.

× I'm a student currently pursuing my master degree in Business Management.

✓ I'm a student currently pursuing my master's degree in Business Management.

The phrase 'master degree' is incorrect because 'master' should be possessive to indicate the degree belongs to the master level. The correct form is 'master's degree.'

× It has been an exciting journey, I met very wonderful lecturers and they have come a long way to help me pursue my dream.

✓ It has been an exciting journey; I have met very wonderful lecturers and they have come a long way to help me pursue my dream.

The sentence mixes present perfect ('has been') with simple past ('met'). To maintain consistency and indicate ongoing relevance, 'met' should be changed to present perfect 'have met.' Also, the comma should be replaced with a semicolon to separate two independent clauses.

× They have time to answer most of the questions that I have had and although it's too early but I have already started preparing my thesis and I'm working towards finishing my thesis before the end of this semester.

✓ They have time to answer most of the questions that I have had, and although it's too early, I have already started preparing my thesis and I'm working towards finishing it before the end of this semester.

The phrase 'although it's too early but' is redundant; 'although' and 'but' serve similar functions and should not be used together. Also, 'finishing my thesis' is repetitive; 'finishing it' is more concise.

× The university has a very beautiful location. It's at a convenient location and is close to most of the facilities that is gonna help any student achieve his dream of being a student.

✓ The university has a very beautiful location. It's at a convenient location and is close to most of the facilities that are gonna help any student achieve their dream of being a student.

The subject 'facilities' is plural, so the verb should be 'are' instead of 'is.' Also, 'his' should be replaced with the gender-neutral 'their' to be inclusive.

× In addition to these, it has a very friendly international students body that helps address any student issues.

✓ In addition to these, it has a very friendly international student body that helps address any student issues.

The phrase 'international students body' is incorrect because 'students' is plural but used as an adjective. The correct form is 'international student body,' where 'student' is singular as an adjective modifying 'body.'

× It sure is. It sure is. It's definitely a good place to study considering that they have all the amenities that are essential to help bring out the best in each student and they have a level playing ground which students which allows students from different backgrounds to have an equal chance of excelling in their exams and being the best out of themselves.

✓ It sure is. It's definitely a good place to study considering that they have all the amenities essential to help bring out the best in each student, and they have a level playing ground which allows students from different backgrounds to have an equal chance of excelling in their exams and being the best version of themselves.

The sentence contains a repeated phrase 'which students which' that is incorrect and redundant. It should be corrected to 'which allows.' Also, 'being the best out of themselves' is awkward; 'being the best version of themselves' is clearer.

× Of course, I would love if they could make just a little bit of changes in the students meal study provide for us at the dormitories, the meals which they provide as, uh, sometimes undercooked and at best they are overcooked and it's has given some very.

✓ Of course, I would love if they could make just a little bit of change in the students' meal study provided for us at the dormitories. The meals they provide are sometimes undercooked and at best overcooked, and it has caused some issues.

'A little bit of changes' is incorrect because 'changes' is plural and 'a little bit of' is used with uncountable nouns; it should be 'a little bit of change.' Also, 'students meal study' is unclear and likely meant to be 'students' meal study' or 'students' meals provided.' The sentence is incomplete and needs restructuring for clarity.

× In the near future, I just wanna find a job or an internship, get some funds and then in the long term I'm hoping to pursue a PhD hopefully after my PhD study, I would try my best to see if I can get some articles published to enhance my CV to brighten my chances of getting a very good job for myself.

✓ In the near future, I just want to find a job or an internship, get some funds, and then in the long term, I'm hoping to pursue a PhD. Hopefully, after my PhD studies, I will try my best to get some articles published to enhance my CV and improve my chances of getting a very good job.

'Wanna' is informal and should be replaced with 'want to.' The sentence is a run-on and needs to be split for clarity. 'PhD study' should be plural 'PhD studies.' 'Would try my best to see if I can get' is awkward; 'will try my best to get' is clearer and more confident.