音乐— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 문법과 표현을 더 자연스럽게 고치고, 중복된 단어와 애매한 표현을 제거하세요. 주제문으로 바로 답한 뒤, 한두 개의 구체적 이유나 예를 연결사로 이어 말하면 더 명확합니다. 예를 들어 ‘depends on my mood’라는 주제문을 말한 뒤 ‘for example’나 ‘for instance’로 구체적 상황이나 이유를 덧붙이세요. 또한 시제 일치와 관사 사용을 신경 쓰세요.

示例: It depends on my mood. For example, when I'm feeling down I prefer slow, sad songs because they help me process my emotions, while when I'm in a good or neutral mood I enjoy upbeat, happy music that lifts my spirits.

建议: 대답은 직접적이고 간결하게 하고, 이유를 말할 때에는 문법적으로 정확한 문장을 사용하세요. ‘reacts without emotion’ 같은 부적절한 표현을 피하고, ‘make me feel’ 등 개인적 경험을 나타내는 표현을 사용하면 자연스럽습니다. 또한 불필요한 중복(예: ‘more happier’)을 고치세요.

示例: Yes, definitely. Happy music usually makes me feel more energetic and upbeat because the fast tempo and positive lyrics boost my mood and motivate me.

建议: 시제와 문장구조를 정리하세요. 과거 경험은 과거시제로 통일하고, 불필요한 반복(예: 'our our')을 제거하세요. 또한 질문에 직접 답하고(예: Yes, I did), 한두 문장으로 구체적 활동(노래, 악기 연주 등)을 덧붙이면 더 좋습니다.

示例: Yes, I did. I took music classes in primary and middle school where I learned to sing and play simple instruments, and I always felt energetic and enjoyed performing with my classmates.

建议: 응답은 명확하고 논리적으로 구성하세요. ‘depends on’으로 시작한 뒤 연결사(for example, but)로 이유를 체계적으로 제시한 것은 좋습니다. 다만 동사 형태와 관사, 불완전한 문장(‘because it made me’)을 고치고, 문장 수를 3~4문장으로 간결하게 유지하세요.

示例: It depends on the task. For example, I avoid music when studying because it distracts me, but I often listen to music while cleaning my room or doing my makeup because it makes those chores more enjoyable.

× I think it depends on my mood.

✓ I think it depends on my mood.

The sentence is correct; no change needed. Use present simple 'depends' for general statements about habits or states.

× When I got sad in that timing then I would prefer to listen to sad sad songs and when I'm happier and just say so so mood then I would prefer listening to happy music.

✓ When I feel sad at that time, I prefer to listen to sad songs, and when I'm happier or in a so-so mood, I prefer to listen to happy music.

Mixing past 'got' with conditional 'would' and awkward phrases causes tense and structure errors. Use present simple 'feel' and 'prefer' to state habitual preferences. Replace 'in that timing' with 'at that time', remove duplicate 'sad', use 'so-so' for 'so so', and use parallel structure 'prefer to listen to'.

× Yes, I will say definitely yes, because when we listen to happy music, it reacts without emotion and it will make us more happier.

✓ Yes, I'd definitely say yes, because when we listen to happy music, it affects our emotions and makes us happier.

'Will say' is unnatural for giving an opinion; use 'I'd say' or 'I'd definitely say'. 'It reacts without emotion' is incorrect; music doesn't 'react', it 'affects' or 'influences' emotions. 'Will make us more happier' mixes future/modal and comparative incorrectly and has double comparative 'more happier'; use 'makes us happier'.

× When I was in primary school or middle school I have had some music class in the school and now I'm a high school student.

✓ When I was in primary and middle school, I had some music classes at school, and now I'm a high school student.

Mixing past 'was' with present perfect 'have had' is incorrect for finished past events; use simple past 'had'. Use plural 'classes' if multiple sessions, and 'at school' is the correct preposition. Add commas for clarity.

× Our our school doesn't have music class contain it and when I remind in middle school that having music class I felt very energetic and I love singing and playing instruments with the teachers.

✓ Our school doesn't have a music class now, but when I was in middle school and we had music class, I felt very energetic and I loved singing and playing instruments with the teachers.

Duplicate 'our' removed. Use 'a music class' or 'music classes' (article needed). 'Contain it' is incorrect—use 'now' or 'anymore'. 'Remind in middle school' is incorrect; use 'when I was in middle school'. Match past tense 'had' and 'loved' for past experiences.

× I think it depends on what task I'm doing.

✓ I think it depends on what task I'm doing.

Sentence is correct; present continuous 'I'm doing' is appropriate for conditional present situations.

× For example, when I'm studying I would not listen to music because it would affect my concentration.

✓ For example, when I'm studying I do not listen to music because it affects my concentration.

Using 'would' is inappropriate for habitual present actions. Use simple present 'do not listen' and 'affects' to describe regular habits and general truths.

× But when I'm doing the other tasks such as cleaning my room or doing makeup, I would just put turn on my phone and listening to music while I'm doing because it made me.

✓ But when I'm doing other tasks such as cleaning my room or doing my makeup, I just turn on my phone and listen to music because it makes me feel better.

Replace 'would' with simple present 'just turn on' for habitual actions. Remove 'the' before 'other tasks'. Use parallel verbs 'turn on' and 'listen' (base form), not 'listening'. 'Because it made me' is unclear and past; use 'it makes me feel better' to express effect in present.