音乐— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be careful with grammar, word choice and sentence length. Use one clear topic sentence, then one or two supporting sentences with precise reasons and correct pronouns. Avoid redundancy (e.g., "help me to" vs "help me") and incorrect phrasing like "more understood."

示例: I prefer happy, uplifting music because I usually start my day with cheerful songs that create a positive atmosphere and keep me motivated. However, when I'm feeling down, I sometimes choose sad music because it helps me release stress and process my emotions.

建议: Improve grammar and cohesion: use correct agreement ("lyrics are"), avoid run-on sentences, and use a linking phrase to connect ideas. Be specific about how music affects you and limit to two supporting points.

示例: Yes, happy music definitely lifts my spirits. For example, listening to my favourite singer, Justin Bieber, gives me energy and the positive, catchy lyrics motivate me to study and stay cheerful.

建议: Good structure and detail. To improve, make sentences slightly more varied and precise (use "play" instead of "on" for instruments) and add a brief linking word to show contrast (e.g., "however").

示例: Yes, I joined a school music class as an extracurricular activity where we learned to play a traditional instrument. Although I wasn't very good at first, the lessons taught me basic techniques and helped me develop a deeper appreciation for traditional music.

建议: Clear and concise answer. To make it even better, add a brief linking word and a specific example of an activity where music would distract you to make your point more concrete.

示例: No, I'm not a multitasker. I prefer to focus on one task at a time, so I usually only listen to music after I finish studying or working. For example, music distracts me when I'm reading complex material, so I avoid it to concentrate better.

× However, when I'm feeling down, I sometimes choose sad music too because they help me to let go of stress and more understood.

✓ However, when I'm feeling down, I sometimes choose sad music too because it helps me to let go of stress and feel more understood.

The pronoun 'they' refers to a plural noun but 'sad music' is uncountable or singular here, so use 'it' for agreement. Also 'more understood' is unnatural; use 'feel more understood' to include the verb 'feel'. Use singular verb 'helps' to match singular subject 'it'. Suggestion: Match pronouns with their antecedents and include a verb for 'feel more understood'.

× Yes, it lifts my spirits when I'm listening to my favorite singer Justin Bieber because it gives me more energy and lyrics is really good which gives me motivation to study and feel good.

✓ Yes, it lifts my spirits when I listen to my favorite singer Justin Bieber because his music gives me more energy and the lyrics are really good, which motivates me to study and feel good.

Multiple issues: use consistent tense and subject-verb agreement. 'I'm listening' is acceptable but simple present 'I listen' is clearer in habitual context. 'It gives' was unclear; replace with 'his music gives' to match referent. 'lyrics is' is incorrect because 'lyrics' is plural so use 'lyrics are'. 'which gives me motivation' is wordy; use 'which motivates me' for clarity. Suggestion: Ensure subjects and verbs agree in number and keep referents clear.

× I joined a school music class as an extracurricular activity where we learned a traditional musical instrument.

✓ I joined a school music class as an extracurricular activity where we learned a traditional musical instrument.

This sentence is grammatically correct in past tense; no change needed. Suggestion: None.

× I wasn't very good at it, but the lessons taught me basic skills on the instrument and made me appreciate traditional music more.

✓ I wasn't very good at it, but the lessons taught me basic skills on the instrument and made me appreciate traditional music more.

This sentence is correct; 'made me appreciate' appropriately uses the bare infinitive after 'made'. No change required. Suggestion: None.

× No, I'm not a multitasker.

✓ No, I'm not a multitasker.

This sentence is correct in present tense to express a general habit or preference. Suggestion: None.

× I prefer to focus on one task at a time, and I usually only listen to music after I finish.

✓ I prefer to focus on one task at a time, and I usually only listen to music after I finish.

This sentence is grammatically correct. 'I finish' appropriately refers to finishing a task. Suggestion: None.

× Background noise distracts me and prevents me from concentrating properly.

✓ Background noise distracts me and prevents me from concentrating properly.

This sentence is correct: present simple appropriately expresses general truth. Suggestion: None.