音乐— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and confident: start with a clear topic sentence, reduce fillers, give one or two specific reasons and one brief example. Use linking words to connect ideas (e.g., because, whereas, so). Keep it under five sentences.

示例: I prefer listening to sad music because it is usually softer and calmer, which helps me relax after a long day. For example, when I study or unwind at night I often choose mellow piano or acoustic songs because they make it easier to focus and sleep.

建议: Answer directly then add a specific context: state the effect clearly, use a linking word for the supporting detail, and give one concrete example. Avoid repetition and filler words.

示例: Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel more excited. For instance, at parties or barbecues my friends and I play upbeat pop songs because they lift everyone’s mood and encourage people to sing and dance.

建议: Give a clear direct answer, then explain briefly why you haven't and what kind of class you would like in one or two specific sentences. Avoid unclear phrases and fillers.

示例: No, I haven’t taken any music classes. However, I would like to join a beginner guitar or vocal class in the future because I want to improve my singing and learn to accompany myself when I practice songs.

建议: Start with a clear topic sentence and give specific examples of activities and the effect of music. Use linking words and avoid repeating words. Keep it to two or three sentences.

示例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other things. For example, I play soft instrumental music in the morning while getting ready because it helps me relax and concentrate on my plans for the day.

× MMM actually I prefer to listen sad music umm, because they are uh, they are so soft and, and uh, I prefer to listen soft soft music and however, the happy music usually is very umm active, which made me.

✓ MMM actually I prefer to listen to sad music, because it is so soft, and I prefer to listen to soft music; however, happy music is usually very active, which excites me.

Missing preposition 'to' after 'listen' and incorrect plural pronoun 'they' for 'music' (uncountable), wrong tense 'made' should be present 'excites' to match general tendency. Suggestion: use 'listen to' with uncountable nouns and use singular pronoun 'it' for 'music'. Use present simple for habitual effects.

× Umm, yes, of course, happy music usually make me feel very excited umm.

✓ Umm, yes, of course, happy music usually makes me feel very excited.

Subject 'happy music' is singular/uncountable, so verb needs third person singular form 'makes'. Suggestion: use 'makes' for singular subjects in present simple.

× In addition, I usually prefer to listen happy music with my friend, such as a party or barbecue, and it can help us more energical, energetic and uh.

✓ In addition, I usually prefer to listen to happy music with my friends, for example at a party or barbecue, and it can make us more energetic.

Missing 'to' after 'listen'; 'friend' should be plural 'friends' when generalizing; 'such as' better as 'for example' for activities; 'help us more energical' is incorrect collocation—use 'make us more energetic'. Suggestion: use 'listen to', match plural nouns when general, and use correct adjective 'energetic'.

× No I have not been to any music classes but if I have a chance I hope I can join the music classes like most classes or some in in track enchantment glasses which make me uh, more arti art, more uh.

✓ No, I have not taken any music classes, but if I have the chance I hope I can join music classes like general lessons or some instrumental training which would make me more artistic.

'Have not been to' is acceptable but 'have not taken' is more natural collocation for classes; awkward phrase 'in in track enchantment glasses' unclear—interpreted as 'instrumental training' or similar. Also conditional should use 'would make' to show hypothetical result. Suggestion: use natural collocations ('take classes'), clarify intended activity, and use conditional 'would' for hypothetical outcomes.

× Umm, yes, umm, actually when I get up I usually umm, I usually umm, put the video to listen some music which is my daily routine now, and be in the addition, it can help me relax and umm more concentrate, concentrate on my schedule.

✓ Umm, yes, actually when I get up I usually play a video to listen to some music as part of my daily routine, and in addition, it helps me relax and concentrate more on my schedule.

Use 'play a video' rather than 'put the video'; need 'listen to' with music; 'in the addition' should be 'in addition'; word order 'concentrate more' not 'more concentrate'. Verb tense 'it helps' for habitual action. Suggestion: use correct prepositions ('listen to'), natural verbs ('play a video'), and correct adverb placement ('concentrate more').