教师— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and grammatical: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details using linking words. Avoid filler words like “umm” and incorrect verb forms (e.g., “who teaches”).

示例: Yes. My favourite teacher is my high-school English and Art teacher because she makes lessons interesting. For example, she uses real-life projects and gives clear feedback, which helps me stay focused and improve quickly.

建议: Begin with a direct answer and provide specific reasons with better phrasing and linking words. Reduce repetition and correct collocations (e.g., “teach other people” → “teach others” or “share my knowledge”).

示例: Yes, I would like to be a teacher in the future because I enjoy helping others learn. For example, I like explaining concepts clearly and sharing my experiences so students can avoid common mistakes.

建议: Answer directly and give a concise reason with one clear supporting detail. Remove hesitations and correct tense and phrasing (e.g., “I was a very young child” and “who taught me”).

示例: No, I don't remember any teachers from that time because I was very young when I was in kindergarten and primary school. My memories from that period are vague, so I can't recall any specific teacher.

建议: Be clearer and more grammatical. Say who you are in fewer words and give a specific example of whom you keep in touch with. Fix grammar and word choice (e.g., “secondary school teachers” and “mainly”).

示例: No, I'm not in touch with my primary school teachers. As a high-school student, I mostly keep in contact with my secondary school teachers, especially my English teacher, who still gives me advice.

建议: Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific examples of help using linking words (e.g., “for example”, “she also”). Correct grammar (e.g., “is my English teacher”, “she gives me many examples”) and avoid fillers.

示例: My favourite teacher has helped me a lot. For example, she patiently explains difficult grammar points and gives many examples and practice exercises, and she also provides feedback on my writing so I can improve.

建议: Give a clear comparative answer with one concise reason and a linking word. Correct phrasing (e.g., “I prefer high-school teachers because...”). Avoid hedging and repetition.

示例: No, I prefer my high-school teachers because I remember them and they help me with subjects that matter for my future. For instance, my high-school English teacher gives practical tasks that prepare me for exams.

× Uh yes, I have a favorite teacher umm, who is teach English and Art for me at my high school.

✓ Uh yes, I have a favorite teacher who teaches English and Art at my high school.

The original sentence misuses the pronoun structure 'who is teach' and includes an unnecessary 'for me'. Use the relative pronoun 'who' with the correct third-person singular verb form 'teaches'. Remove 'for me' because 'at my high school' already indicates the relationship. Also omit filler words for clarity.

× Umm, I usually umm stay concentrate in her umm lessons.

✓ I usually stay concentrated in her lessons.

The verb phrase 'stay concentrate' is incorrect. Use the adjective 'concentrated' or the verb 'concentrate' with an appropriate structure: 'I usually concentrate in her lessons' or 'I usually stay concentrated in her lessons'. 'In' can be kept, but 'during her lessons' is also natural.

× Yes I do want because I love teaching others people from my knowledge.

✓ Yes, I do want to because I love teaching other people with my knowledge.

After 'do want' use an infinitive 'to' if followed by a verb; here the intention is 'do want to [be a teacher]'. The phrase 'others people' is incorrect — use 'other people'. Use 'with my knowledge' to express sharing knowledge.

× I want to share other about my experience and my umm learnings.

✓ I want to share my experiences and what I have learned.

'Share other about' is ungrammatical. Use 'share my experiences' and 'what I have learned' or 'my learnings' (though 'what I have learned' is more natural). Also pluralize 'experience' if speaking generally.

× Umm, I think, no, I don't because, umm, in, in my past, umm, I'm, I'm very, uh, young child.

✓ I think no, I don't, because in the past I was a very young child.

The sentence mixes present tense 'I'm' with reference to the past. Use past tense 'was' when referring to being a young child. Also 'in my past' is awkward; 'in the past' is better. Remove repeated fillers.

× So I can't remember anyone else that teach me in my kindergarten or my primary school.

✓ So I can't remember anyone else who taught me in kindergarten or primary school.

When using a relative clause about past events, use past tense 'taught'. Use 'who' rather than 'that' for people. Omit 'my' before 'kindergarten' and 'primary school' unless specifying a particular institution.

× No, I'm not. I'm actually I'm a high school girl so I just stay in touch with my umm, secondary school teacher and nearly is my teacher's dad who teach me at my school.

✓ No, I'm not. I'm actually a high school student, so I keep in touch with my secondary school teacher, and sometimes with my teacher's father who taught me at my school.

Use 'student' rather than 'girl' for neutral register. 'Stay in touch' is better as 'keep in touch'. 'Nearly is my teacher's dad' is incorrect; likely meant 'sometimes' or 'occasionally'. 'Who teach me' should be past tense 'who taught me'. Clarify relationship and tense.

× Uh, so my favorite teacher is English teachers and she's very friendly.

✓ My favorite teacher is an English teacher and she's very friendly.

Mismatch between singular subject and plural noun 'English teachers'. Use singular 'an English teacher' to match 'my favorite teacher'.

× She always helps me when I have a questions that I don't know how to do.

✓ She always helps me when I have questions that I don't know how to do.

Use plural 'questions' without the indefinite article 'a' because 'questions' is plural. Alternatively, 'a question that I don't know how to answer'. The verb 'do' is unnatural for 'questions' — use 'answer'.

× And she usually give me many sample, uh, to, umm, explain that, uh, phenomenon for me in the.

✓ And she usually gives me many examples to help explain the phenomenon to me.

Use third-person singular 'gives'. 'Many sample' should be 'many samples' or better 'many examples'. Use 'to help explain' for purpose and 'the phenomenon' without trailing preposition. Also remove the dangling 'in the'.

× Uh, no, I don't, uh, actually I don't know how to answer these questions because, uh, as I mentioned too, I don't, umm, remember anyone else that teach me in the, in the primary school.

✓ No, I don't. Actually, I don't know how to answer these questions because, as I mentioned, I don't remember anyone else who taught me in primary school.

Remove filler repetitions and use past tense 'taught' for past teachers. Use 'who' for people. 'These questions' is fine; punctuation and clause linking improved for clarity.

× So I think I should like high school for more.

✓ So I think I should prefer high school more.

The original 'like high school for more' is ungrammatical. Use 'prefer high school more' or 'like high school more'. 'Prefer' is followed by the object 'high school'.