教师— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and fix verb forms (e.g., 'was' → 'is', 'that is' → 'which are').

示例: Yes. My favorite teacher was my high school chemistry teacher because he explained complex reactions clearly. For example, he taught me how to balance chemical equations, a skill I still use at work, so his lessons have been very practical.

建议: Give a direct topic sentence and one clear reason with concise language. Remove fillers and repeated phrases. Use correct tense and word order (e.g., 'what I have learned' and 'future generations').

示例: Yes, I would like to be a teacher if I have the chance because I find it rewarding to pass on knowledge. For instance, I could teach young students the practical skills I learned in university to help them prepare for careers.

建议: Provide a complete answer: name the teacher's role and one specific piece of advice they gave. Remove hesitations and finish the thought. Use linking words (for example, 'because' or 'so') to make it coherent.

示例: Yes, I remember a university professor who supervised scientific projects. When I was unsure about my career, he advised me to try internships in different labs so I could discover what I enjoyed and build relevant skills.

建议: Answer directly and briefly, then give one specific reason. Avoid vague statements like 'too far away' without clarification and remove fillers.

示例: No, I'm not in touch with my primary school teachers because I moved cities after secondary school. Since we lost contact and there was no reason to stay connected, I haven't tried to keep in touch.

建议: Give a clear topic sentence and two specific examples of help, using linking words like 'first' and 'also'. Correct phrasing (e.g., 'how to improve my exam results' and 'career guidance').

示例: He helped me in two main ways. First, he taught study strategies that improved my exam results, and also he gave practical career advice, helping me choose a field that suits my strengths.

建议: State your preference clearly, then support it with one or two specific reasons. Remove hesitations and repetitive phrases. Use comparative language correctly ('more than').

示例: I prefer my secondary (high) school teachers more than my primary school teachers because they provided career guidance and more advanced academic support that helped me prepare for university and work.

× I do have my favorite teacher in high school it was my chemistry teacher.

✓ I had a favorite teacher in high school: my chemistry teacher.

Run-on sentence and tense problem. Two independent clauses were joined without punctuation or conjunction, and the student switched awkwardly between present and past. Use past tense 'had' to match 'in high school' and separate clauses with a colon or period to make the structure clear. Suggestion: keep one tense and use proper punctuation to join related ideas.

× He taught me a lot of chemical equations that is useful for my knowledge and until this day I still use.

✓ He taught me many chemical equations that are useful to my knowledge, and I still use them to this day.

Subject-verb agreement and pronoun omission. 'Chemical equations' is plural, so use 'are' not 'is'. The clause lacks the object 'them' for 'still use'. Also use 'many' for countable plural nouns and 'to this day' is the correct idiom. Suggestion: match plurality, include pronouns for clarity, and use standard idioms.

× I think it's usable to use what I have learned from chemistry into workplace right now.

✓ I think I can apply what I learned in chemistry to the workplace now.

Awkward word choice and preposition use. 'Usable to use' is redundant and unidiomatic. Use 'apply' for using knowledge, 'learned in chemistry' is natural, and preposition 'to' (apply to the workplace) is correct. Also simplify tense to simple past 'learned' since referring to completed learning.

× I do want to be a teacher if I have the opportunity to do so because I think it's very inspiring to teach what have learned throughout my college and my university to and pass it along to, uh, future generation, umm, in, in the future.

✓ I would like to be a teacher if I have the opportunity because I find it inspiring to teach what I learned throughout college and university and pass it along to future generations.

Modal and tense issues plus word order. 'Do want' is emphatic but 'would like' is more natural here. 'What have learned' is incorrect word order and tense; use 'what I learned'. 'Future generation' should be plural 'future generations'. Remove redundant phrases like 'in the future' when 'future' already used. Suggestion: use natural modal 'would like', correct subject-verb order, and pluralize 'generations'.

× So I believe is what I want to do in the future.

✓ So I believe this is what I want to do in the future.

Missing subject. The sentence omitted the subject 'this', causing ungrammatical structure. Insert 'this' to clarify the referent. Suggestion: always include the subject of 'believe' constructions when referring to a clause.

× I do have a teacher that I still remember, uh, during university, uh, I was very confused on my career and I wanted, uh, to have some advice from my professors and one of the professors from, uh, scientific projects gave me some advice on how do I, uh.

✓ I have a teacher I still remember from university. I was very confused about my career and wanted advice from my professors, and one professor from a scientific project gave me some guidance.

Run-on, incorrect preposition, and incorrect question word order. 'Confused on my career' should be 'confused about my career'. 'How do I' is an incorrect word order inside a statement. Break into shorter sentences and use 'gave me guidance' for clarity. Suggestion: avoid run-on sentences, use correct prepositions, and use statement word order.

× I don't really, uh, still in touch with my primary school teachers because it's, uh, already too far away from, uh, my primary school and I, I'm pretty sure they already forgotten that I studied in my primary school, so I didn't, uh, keep in touch with my primary school teachers.

✓ I'm not really still in touch with my primary school teachers because it's been a long time since primary school, and I'm pretty sure they have already forgotten that I attended that school, so I didn't keep in touch with them.

Pronoun and tense errors. 'I don't really still in touch' misses the verb 'am'. 'Too far away from my primary school' is confusing; use 'a long time since primary school'. 'They already forgotten' needs present perfect 'have forgotten'. Use 'attended that school' for clarity and replace repeated noun with pronoun 'them'. Suggestion: include auxiliary verbs, use present perfect for past actions with present relevance, and use pronouns to avoid repetition.

× Uh, my favorite teacher helped me in some general advice on how do I improve my results in crisis and exams.

✓ My favorite teacher gave me general advice on how I can improve my results in crises and exams.

Incorrect word order for indirect question. In statements or reported speech, use statement order 'how I can improve', not question order 'how do I improve'. Also 'helped me in some general advice' is unidiomatic; use 'gave me general advice'. 'Crisis' should be plural 'crises' if meaning multiple difficult situations. Suggestion: use reported speech word order and choose correct verbs like 'gave'.

× And eventually, I think the most valuable thing, valuable thing that my teacher gave me is some career advice on how to, uh, what career I should be in the future.

✓ Eventually, I think the most valuable thing my teacher gave me was career advice on which career I should pursue in the future.

Redundancy and incorrect clause structure. Repeated 'valuable thing' is redundant. Use past tense 'gave' to match earlier past reference and 'which career I should pursue' is a clearer phrasing than 'what career I should be in'. Suggestion: avoid repetition, use precise verbs like 'pursue', and match past tense.

× I think I would like, uh, my secondary school teachers rather than my primary school teachers because, uh, I think, uh, they give more valuable advice when I was in secondary school instead of primary school and they helped me a lot, uh, in, uh, building a career in the future, so.

✓ I think I prefer my secondary school teachers to my primary school teachers because they gave me more valuable advice when I was in secondary school and helped me a lot in building my career.

Tense and quantifier/verb form issues. 'Would like' + 'rather than' is awkward; 'prefer A to B' is natural. 'They give' should be past 'they gave' to match 'when I was in secondary school'. Remove filler words and redundant 'in the future' when context is clear. Suggestion: use 'prefer A to B' structure and keep consistent past tense for past events.