整洁— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct minor grammar issues. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific supporting detail. Avoid redundancy ("tidy and clean"). Use correct verb forms ("make my home look", "I usually put my books on the bookshelf"). Add a linking word to connect support (e.g., "however" or "but").

示例: I don't enjoy cleaning, but I try to make my home look tidy. For example, I usually put my books neatly on the bookshelf; however, I only vacuum the carpet when guests are coming.

建议: Improve accuracy and word choice and avoid fillers. Begin with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two concise reasons. Replace awkward or incorrect phrases ("took greedy care", "doing those stuff") with natural expressions ("took great care", "doing those things"). Omit hesitation sounds ("uh").

示例: No, I didn't. My parents, especially my mother, took great care of the house when I was a child, so I rarely had to tidy my room myself.

建议: Be specific and use logical sequence with linking words. Avoid informal abbreviations ("1st") and explain frequency clearly. Start with a topic sentence, then detail your routine using linking words like "first" and "then". Correct informal phrasing ("a bit lazy") to sound natural but honest.

示例: I don't do a deep clean often, but I keep my study space reasonably tidy. First, I wipe the desk with a damp cloth, and then I vacuum the carpet about once a week.

建议: Avoid run-on sentences and negative-positive contradictions. Give a clear topic sentence, then two concise reasons with linking words ("first", "second" or "because"). Use neutral language instead of emotive words like "disgusting pests"; prefer "pests" or "insects". Keep sentences within five max.

示例: Yes, I think being tidy is important. First, it improves our mood and concentration; second, it reduces the risk of pests and helps keep the home healthier.

× I do like making my home to look tidy and clean.

✓ I do like making my home look tidy and clean.

The verb 'make' is followed by the base form of the verb, not 'to' plus infinitive. Use 'make + object + base verb' so 'make my home look' is correct. Suggestion: learn the causative structure 'make someone/something do' and avoid inserting 'to.'

× I usually collect my books on the bookshelf, but I hardly vacuum my carpet unless there are guests coming.

✓ I usually put my books on the bookshelf, but I hardly vacuum my carpet unless guests are coming.

The verb 'collect' is incorrect for placing books; 'put' or 'place' is appropriate. Also 'on the bookshelf' is okay but 'put my books on the bookshelf' sounds natural. 'There are guests coming' is wordy; use 'guests are coming.' Suggestion: use appropriate verbs for placement and prefer simpler present continuous for scheduled imminent events.

× No, I didn't, because my parents usually did the household chores for me, especially my mom.

✓ No, I didn't, because my parents usually did the household chores for me, especially my mom.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable in past tense. No correction needed. Explanation: 'Did' correctly indicates habitual past action; keep as is.

× She was a very hardworking woman and, uh, took greedy care to keep our house tidy so I hardly had to worry about doing those stuff myself.

✓ She was a very hardworking woman and took great care to keep our house tidy, so I hardly had to worry about doing those things myself.

'Took greedy care' is incorrect collocation; use 'took great care.' Also 'stuff' is informal and uncountable; 'things' fits better with 'those.' Add a comma before 'so' and remove filler 'uh.' Suggestion: learn common collocations (take great care) and use appropriate countable/uncountable nouns.

× As I said, I tend to be a bit lazy so I don't usually do much work to keep my study space tidy.

✓ As I said, I tend to be a bit lazy, so I don't usually do much to keep my study space tidy.

'Do much work to keep' is awkward; 'do much to keep' is more natural. Also add a comma before 'so.' The issue relates to verb phrase selection rather than inflection; adjust wording to fit common usage.

× I often just use a wet rag to wipe my desk 1st and then use the vacuum to clean my carpet.

✓ I often just use a wet rag to wipe my desk first and then use the vacuum to clean my carpet.

Use 'first' in full rather than '1st' in formal speech. Otherwise structure is fine. Suggestion: avoid numerals in spoken/written text; spell out ordinal words.

× Yes, I reckon being tidy is very important, although I don't always keep my room very organized, but being tidy can improve our mood and also reduce the chance of attracting some disgusting pests like cockroaches which helps keep our home healthier.

✓ Yes, I reckon being tidy is very important. Although I don't always keep my room very organized, being tidy can improve our mood and reduce the chance of attracting pests like cockroaches, which helps keep our home healthier.

The original sentence is run-on and uses contradictory conjunctions ('although' and 'but') together. Separate into sentences or use one subordinating conjunction. Also 'some disgusting pests' is informal; 'pests like cockroaches' is concise. Add comma before 'which' for the non-restrictive clause. Suggestion: avoid combining 'although' with 'but' and break long sentences into clearer clauses.