整洁— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct grammar: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons. Avoid hesitations and repetitions. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' and correct verb forms (e.g., "it gets messy").

示例: Yes, I like to keep things tidy because a clean space helps me relax. However, since I live with my mother and two children, our room often gets messy quickly, so I only manage to tidy up regularly when I have spare time.

建议: Provide a clear topic sentence, correct tense and remove repetitions. Give a specific detail about when or how your habit changed, using linking words like 'but' and 'so'. Clarify vague phrases ('it feels much' -> 'it felt better').

示例: No, I wasn't tidy as a child; my mother often had to tell me to clean my room. However, when I lived alone at university, I started tidying regularly because having a clean room made me feel more comfortable and focused.

建议: Answer directly with a topic sentence, then give one or two specific methods and use linking words. Correct phrasing (e.g., 'once I read an article, I throw it away') and avoid repetition.

示例: I keep my study space tidy by minimizing items on my desk. For example, once I finish reading an article or paperwork, I either file it or throw it away so the desk stays clear and organized.

建议: Begin with a clear opinion, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words like 'because' or 'so'. Correct phrases ('feels much better', 'helps me try new things'). Avoid redundancy.

示例: Yes, I think being tidy is important because a clean environment makes me feel better and reduces stress. As a result, I find it easier to focus on tasks and feel more motivated to try new things.

× Yes, I would like to tidy up once in a while when I feel oh it's getting mess.

✓ Yes, I like to tidy up once in a while when I feel it's getting messy.

The student mixed conditional/modal phrasing 'would like' with a general habitual action; use simple present 'like' for habits. 'getting mess' is incorrect adjective form; use the adjective 'messy'. Suggestion: use simple present for routines and correct adjective forms (messy).

× But I have a mother, two children so it's hard to keep tidy in my room all the time.

✓ But I have a mother and two children, so it is hard to keep my room tidy all the time.

Missing conjunction 'and' connects two items. Word order 'keep tidy in my room' is awkward; the noun phrase 'my room tidy' is correct. Also expand contraction 'it's' to 'it is' for clarity. Suggestion: include 'and' and place 'my room tidy'.

× No, I didn't. I was not good at tidying up in my room.

✓ No, I wasn't. I was not good at tidying my room.

Use contraction consistency ('I wasn't') and 'tidying up in my room' is wordy; 'tidying my room' is natural. Suggestion: simplify gerund phrases and maintain tense consistency.

× My mother always is is called at me all the time.

✓ My mother always called me all the time.

Original has duplicate 'is' and wrong passive structure 'is called at me'. Use active past tense 'called me'. Also 'all the time' is redundant with 'always'—keep one. Suggestion: use active voice and remove duplication.

× But after I lived by myself when I was in university, I got used to cleaning up once in a while because it it feels much.

✓ But after I lived by myself at university, I got used to cleaning up once in a while because it felt much better.

Phrase 'when I was in university' is better as 'at university'. 'it it' duplicated. 'feels much' is incomplete; use 'felt much better' to match past context. Suggestion: remove duplication, use appropriate comparative and past tense.

× I try not to put a lot of things on my desk.

✓ I try not to put many things on my desk.

Use 'many' with countable plural noun 'things' rather than 'a lot of' for concise formal correction. 'A lot of' is acceptable conversationally, but instruction restricts to listed types; this fits quantifier correction. Suggestion: use 'many' or keep 'a lot of' depending on register.

× Especially paper I once I read the articles or any other paper I just throw it away and keep my desk tidy.

✓ Especially papers: once I read an article or any other paper, I just throw it away and keep my desk tidy.

Singular/plural and article errors: 'paper' should be plural 'papers' or 'an article'. 'the articles' implies specific ones; use 'an article' for any article. Also sentence needs commas and clearer structure. Suggestion: make nouns agree in number and use articles correctly.

× Yes I do, cleaning up and keeping tidy up feels much better in our daily lives and tidying up helps motivate me to do try new things or focus on things I need to concentrate on.

✓ Yes, I do. Cleaning up and keeping tidy feels much better in daily life, and tidying helps motivate me to try new things or focus on what I need to concentrate on.

Run-on sentence and tense/word choice issues: use periods to separate ideas. 'keeping tidy up' is redundant; use 'keeping tidy'. 'feels much better in our daily lives' more natural as 'feels much better in daily life'. 'do try' has extra 'do'; remove it. Suggestion: split into two sentences, remove redundancy, and correct verb forms.