整洁— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers like "Umm", and add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. For example, briefly say how often and why you tidy to make the answer more informative.

示例: Yes, I enjoy keeping things tidy. For example, I clean my house every day because a neat environment helps me concentrate and feel relaxed.

建议: Provide a clearer topic sentence and more coherent supporting detail with linking words. Avoid excessive procedural detail; focus on habits or reasons. Use past tense consistently when talking about childhood.

示例: Yes, I used to keep my room tidy when I was a child because my parents expected me to. For example, they showed me how to dust and vacuum, and I learned to tidy my toys every day.

建议: Start with a full sentence as a topic sentence, then give one or two specific actions using linking words. Avoid repeating words and keep it under five sentences.

示例: I keep my study space tidy by always keeping cleaning tools nearby. For instance, I use a soft brush and a small vacuum to clear dust from the desk and keyboard every evening.

建议: Give a clear and natural opinion first, then support it with a specific and coherent reason. Use linking words (for example, because, therefore) and avoid vague or repetitive phrases. Keep sentences grammatically complete.

示例: Yes, I think being tidy is necessary because poor hygiene can lead to illness. For example, unclean homes can attract pests and spread bacteria, so regular cleaning protects health.

× I like to make things tidy and clean.

✓ I like to keep things tidy and clean.

The original sentence uses 'make things tidy' which is natural but 'keep things tidy' fits the context of habitual preference. This is not a strict grammatical error but a style/word-choice issue; using 'keep' better matches the question about maintaining tidiness.

× Umm therefore I clean up my house every day.

✓ Therefore, I clean my house every day.

Remove filler 'Umm' and use 'clean' rather than 'clean up' for formality. Comma after 'Therefore' improves sentence flow. The tense (present simple) is correct for habitual action.

× Yes, my parents taught me that I have to clean my room by myself, but they also taught me how to do it.

✓ Yes, my parents taught me that I had to clean my room by myself, and they also taught me how to do it.

When reporting past teaching, backshift the present 'have to' to past 'had to' (sequence of tenses). Also replace 'but' with 'and' because both clauses present complementary information.

× So in the first step we remove the dust and both vacuum and mop the ground.

✓ So the first step is to remove the dust and then vacuum and mop the floor.

Use infinitive structure 'the first step is to...' for instructions. 'Both' is unnecessary and 'ground' is unnatural; use 'floor'. Maintain present simple for procedural description.

× Always have cleaning tools in my office.

✓ I always have cleaning tools in my office.

The original lacks an explicit subject. Add 'I' to form a complete sentence and place adverb 'always' before the main verb for correct word order.

× First of all I have a brush, a dust brush to remove the dust on the surface and also have a small vacuum to clean up the the surface of the desk and the keyboard.

✓ First of all, I have a brush, a dusting brush to remove dust from surfaces, and I also have a small vacuum to clean the surface of the desk and the keyboard.

Use 'dusting brush' (or 'duster') and 'remove dust from surfaces' is more natural than 'remove the dust on the surface'. Add subject 'I' before 'also have'. Remove duplicated 'the the'. Maintain parallel structure and commas for clarity.

× I think it's absolutely correct.

✓ I think that's absolutely true.

'Correct' is odd in this context; 'true' or 'necessary' fits meaning better. Present simple 'I think' is appropriate for giving an opinion.

× And first of all, dirty conditions can make some diseases.

✓ First of all, dirty conditions can cause some diseases.

Use verb 'cause' rather than 'make' for diseases. Remove initial conjunction 'And' at sentence start for formality.

× That's problem for everyone and it can really be happening because in the past there's a lot of this because of a low quality hygiene and also.

✓ That is a problem for everyone, and it can still happen; in the past, there was a lot of this because of poor hygiene.

Original sentence has multiple issues: missing article before 'problem', awkward 'really be happening', unnecessary repetition of 'because', and 'low quality hygiene' is unnatural — use 'poor hygiene'. Use past tense 'there was' to refer to past conditions and restructure into two clauses for clarity.