整洁— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Improve fluency and remove fillers; use a clear topic sentence, correct grammar, and one or two supporting details with linking words. Avoid repetition ("I and I") and filler sounds ("umm"). Also fix tense/structure to be natural (e.g., "it makes my work more efficient").

示例: Yes, I usually keep my desk and folders organized. For example, I file documents by project so I can quickly find what I need, and this helps me work more efficiently.

建议: Provide a direct topic sentence about past habits, use past tense consistently, and give specific reasons. Avoid fragmented sentences and unclear pronouns. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to connect ideas.

示例: Not really. When I was a child I shared a bedroom and bathroom with my sister, so I couldn't decide how things were arranged. As a result, I rarely bothered to tidy the room since it wasn't solely mine.

建议: Use correct grammar (e.g., 'after I use it'), clearer phrasing ('designated place'), and concise supporting examples. Use linking words like 'for example' correctly and check article use ('a dictionary' or 'the dictionary').

示例: Generally, I keep my workspace tidy by giving each item a designated place and returning things after I use them. For example, I keep stationery in a small box and label the shelf where I store dictionaries.

建议: Give a clear opinion in the topic sentence and support it with coherent, specific reasons. Use proper grammar ('everyone has'), avoid vague phrases ('the massive'), and complete your examples. Use linking words like 'however' or 'for example' to make points logical.

示例: I don't think it's always necessary to be very tidy because everyone has different habits. For example, some people work better in a slightly messy space and my colleague can often find what they need on a cluttered desk.

× Guess I usually keep my desk and folders organized because I and I enjoy it because it can help me quickly find anything whenever I need it and umm, there will be more efficient when I work.

✓ I usually keep my desk and folders organized because I enjoy it; it helps me quickly find anything whenever I need it and makes me more efficient when I work.

The original sentence uses the incorrect pronoun phrase 'I and I' and has unclear subjects for later verbs. Replace 'I and I enjoy it' with 'I enjoy it'. Also 'there will be more efficient' is incorrect: 'makes me more efficient' correctly links the action to the speaker. Use a semicolon or shorter sentences to avoid run-on structure and remove filler words like 'umm' for clarity. Grammar problem type ID: 12

× Well, not really because I don't have my own. As a child I needed to share my bathroom with my sister so I can not uh decided anything. And make sure they are tidy.

✓ Well, not really because I didn't have my own. As a child I had to share my bathroom with my sister so I could not decide anything or make sure it was tidy.

The context is past; use past tense 'didn't have' instead of 'don't have'. 'Needed to share' is awkward for past obligation; 'had to share' is better. 'so I can not uh decided anything' mixes present modal 'can' with past 'decided'—use 'could not decide'. 'Make sure they are tidy' should be past: 'make sure it was tidy' or 'ensure it was tidy'. Remove filler 'uh' and correct agreement between tense and pronouns. Grammar problem type ID: 5

× Generally I try to keep my workspace tidy by giving each item a designed place and always returning things after I using it. For example, I keep stationery in a small box and put dictionary in label.

✓ Generally I try to keep my workspace tidy by giving each item a designated place and always returning things after I use them. For example, I keep stationery in a small box and put labels on dictionaries.

'Designed place' should be the adjective 'designated'. 'After I using it' incorrectly uses the -ing form after 'after I'; use the base verb 'use'. Also 'things' is plural so use 'them'. 'Put dictionary in label' is ungrammatical: likely intended 'put labels on dictionaries' or 'label the dictionary'. Correct noun/verb forms and preposition use. Grammar problem type ID: 8

× Well, I don't think so because everyone have their own habits and even the massive and some people can find something in a messy desk for them. From my colleague can immediately find what?

✓ Well, I don't think so because everyone has their own habits, and some people can find things in a messy desk. My colleague, for example, can immediately find what they need.

'Everyone' is singular and requires 'has' not 'have' (subject-verb agreement). Phrases like 'even the massive' are unclear and likely unnecessary; remove or replace. 'Some people can find something in a messy desk for them' is awkward—use 'some people can find things in a messy desk.' The final fragment 'From my colleague can immediately find what?' is ungrammatical; clarify to 'My colleague, for example, can immediately find what they need.' Ensure pronoun agreement and clearer word choice. Grammar problem type ID: 27