视图— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and coherent: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid repetition and incomplete sentences. Also correct basic grammar (e.g., “calms my heart,” “pictures of different views”).

示例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. I especially like landscapes and cityscapes because they capture unique moods; for example, a sunset over the sea calms me and a busy street shows energy. Taking photos helps me remember places and relax.

建议: Start with a direct topic sentence, then give two clear supporting reasons using linking words (for example, “because” and “so”). Reduce hesitations and repetitions, and use specific vocabulary (e.g., ‘pollution,’ ‘open fields’).

示例: I prefer views in rural areas because they are quieter and more natural. For example, open fields and forests have less noise and pollution than cities, so I find them more relaxing and better for photographing landscapes.

建议: Be clear and logical: give a straightforward preference, then explain with one or two specific reasons and an example. Avoid unclear phrases and repetition. Use correct grammar when comparing ‘home country’ and ‘abroad.’

示例: I prefer views in other countries because they offer new scenery and culture that I can’t find at home. For instance, visiting coastal towns abroad introduced me to different architecture and coastal light, which inspired my photography more than familiar local spots.

× Yes I love taking pictures of the of pictures.

✓ Yes, I love taking pictures.

Redundant phrase and incorrect repetition. 'Taking pictures' is the correct verb + -ing noun phrase. Remove the duplicate 'of the of pictures' and add a comma after 'Yes' for clarity.

× I love taking pictures of different views because it suits my eyes like I want to have this the picture of this views and the other side yeah that's basically it.

✓ I love taking pictures of different views because they please my eyes; I want to capture these views from different angles.

Sentence is run-on and uses incorrect subject reference and plural agreement. 'It suits my eyes' should be 'they please my eyes' because 'pictures/views' are plural. 'The picture of this views' has article and plural errors; use 'these views' and 'capture' to convey taking photos. Use punctuation or connectors to avoid run-on sentences.

× It just calm my heart if I.

✓ It just calms my heart.

Incomplete sentence and subject-verb agreement. 'It just calm' requires third person singular verb 'calms.' Remove fragment 'if I' which is incomplete; provide a complete clause if intended (e.g., 'if I look at them'), but here 'It just calms my heart.' is complete.

× I prefer views in rural areas and because unlike in urban areas, areas there are a lot of people, a lot of buildings, there are a lot of, you know, smokes and it's not the thing that I want to see.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because, unlike urban areas, there are many people, many buildings, and a lot of smoke, which I do not want to see.

Unnecessary repetition of 'areas' and incorrect noun 'smokes' (use 'smoke' or 'air pollution'). The clause 'unlike in urban areas, areas there are' is ungrammatical; rephrase to 'unlike urban areas, there are...' Also use 'many' with countable nouns and 'a lot of' with uncountable nouns; 'smoke' is uncountable here.

× But in rural areas it's much more peaceful.

✓ But rural areas are much more peaceful.

Using 'it's' (it is) is less clear when referring to plural 'rural areas.' Use plural verb 'are' to agree with plural noun 'rural areas.' This is a subject-verb agreement/pronoun reference clarity issue.

× And yeah, it's, it's a good environment.

✓ Yes, it's a peaceful environment.

Repetition and filler words; tighten sentence. 'It's, it's' can be reduced to 'it's' and specify 'peaceful environment' to match prior contrast.

× To answer that, I think I would answer it that I would prefer views in other countries since I'm since I'm in my country, there are a lot of times that I could visit any places that I want to.

✓ To answer that, I would prefer views in other countries because, in my country, I can visit many places anytime I want.

Awkward phrasing and tense/modal misuse. 'I think I would answer it that I would prefer' is redundant; simplify. 'There are a lot of times that I could visit any places that I want to' is unnatural; use present ability 'I can visit many places anytime I want.' Replace 'any places' with 'many places' and correct word order.

× But in other countries there are just the I have limit like of course your capital is not is limited.

✓ But in other countries I have limits; for example, I cannot visit everywhere, and visiting capitals or major cities is limited.

Unclear quantifier usage and sentence fragmentation. 'There are just the I have limit' is ungrammatical; express idea that travel options are limited. 'Your capital is not is limited' is incorrect; clarify that access to every place is limited when traveling abroad. Use 'limited' appropriately and provide examples.

× So of course now great.

✓ So, of course, that's part of what makes it interesting.

Fragment 'So of course now great' is incomplete and unclear. Provide a full clause explaining the speaker's sentiment. Use commas for clarity and avoid vague filler words like 'now great.'