视图— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers, and connect supporting details with linking words. Also use more precise vocabulary (e.g., “skyscrapers,” “city lights”) and keep answers to under five sentences.

示例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views. I usually use my phone, and I especially like natural scenery such as beaches as well as urban scenes with city lights and skyscrapers. For example, I often take sunset photos at the beach because the colors are dramatic.

建议: Give a clear topic sentence and finish your thought. Use linking words (because, so, therefore) to explain reasons and provide a specific example. Avoid repetition and grammatical errors (e.g., “an urban area,” “it gives a new experience”).

示例: I prefer rural views because I already live in an urban area that is crowded with buildings and people. Therefore, rural landscapes feel peaceful and different; for instance, when I visit the countryside I enjoy wide open fields and quiet villages that help me relax.

建议: Start with a direct answer and give specific reasons without repetition. Use correct names and forms (e.g., “Switzerland” not “Swiss”), and complete your sentence with a clear reason or example. Limit to a few concise sentences and use linking words (for example, because, such as).

示例: I prefer views in other countries because I find some foreign cities cleaner and more architecturally interesting than those where I live. For example, I admire the orderly streets of Japan and the historic architecture of Paris, and I also enjoy New York’s skyline because of its iconic skyscrapers.

× I like to take pictures with different views.

✓ I like to take pictures of different views.

Use the preposition 'of' with 'take pictures' to indicate the subject of the photos. 'With' is incorrect here because it suggests using something as an instrument rather than describing what is being photographed.

× Usually I use my phone to take pictures and my favorite views are scenery, especially beaches, uh and cities. City light, sky scraper.

✓ Usually I use my phone to take pictures, and my favorite scenes are scenery, especially beaches and cities, such as city lights and skyscrapers.

Use 'scenes' or 'views' rather than repeating 'views are scenery'. 'City light' should be plural 'city lights' and 'sky scraper' should be one word 'skyscrapers'. Punctuation and conjunctions are needed to join clauses smoothly.

× It will be rural areas because I live in a urban area and it's so packed with tall buildings, houses, people and when I travel especially to the rural area, it will it gives new experience and because of that I.

✓ I prefer rural areas because I live in an urban area and it's so packed with tall buildings, houses, and people. When I travel, especially to rural areas, it gives me new experiences, and because of that I do.

Use the article 'an' before 'urban' (vowel sound). 'I prefer' is more natural than 'It will be'. Plural consistency: 'rural areas' and 'experiences'. Remove duplicated words 'it will it gives' and add the object 'me' for 'gives me new experiences'. End the sentence with a complete clause 'and because of that I do' to avoid sentence fragment.

× For sure other countries because I live in Indonesia and the, the, the the city here is not quite clean and I love the view of other countries like Japan, Swiss, Paris and also I also like the city of New York 'cause they.

✓ For sure other countries, because I live in Indonesia and the cities here are not very clean. I love the views of other countries like Japan, Switzerland, and Paris, and I also like New York City because of its views.

Use plural 'cities' to agree with 'the city here' idea. Use 'Switzerland' (country name) instead of 'Swiss' (adjective). 'Paris' is a city name and should be listed similarly. 'New York City' is the usual form. Complete the final clause 'because of its views' to avoid a fragment. Remove repeated filler words 'the, the'.