视图— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 응답은 긍정적이고 관련 정보를 포함하고 있지만 문법 오류, 중복 표현, 비논리적 문장 연결이 눈에 띕니다. 구체적으로는 관사와 복수형 처리(“a pictures”), 불필요한 반복(“when I have my when I have my spare time”), 카메라를 어디서 샀는지에 대한 설명이 불분명하고 비문(“bought in application called Tongan and I”)입니다. 개선 방법: (1) 간결한 주제문으로 시작하고 최대 3개의 추가 문장으로 이유와 구체적 예시를 덧붙이세요. (2) 관사와 복수형을 정확히 사용하세요. (3) 링크 표현(For example, Also, In my spare time 등)을 사용해 문장 흐름을 매끄럽게 하세요. (4) 불필요한 반복을 제거하고 카메라 구매처 등 세부사항은 명확하고 짧게 표현하세요.

示例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. Photography is one of my hobbies, and in my spare time I often use a compact camera to shoot landscapes. For example, I like capturing city skylines at sunset because the light makes the buildings look dramatic.

建议: 답변은 양쪽을 선호한다고 말해 균형 잡힌 의견을 제시했지만 여러 문법 오류(중복된 단어 “I I”, 잘못된 단어 사용 “bills” 대신 “both”, 관사와 복수형 오류, 동사 형태 오류)와 어색한 표현이 있습니다. 개선 방법: (1) 주제 문장을 명확히 하고 이유를 두세 문장으로 구체화하세요. (2) 연결어(For example, Especially)로 이유와 예시를 자연스럽게 이어가세요. (3) 구체적 이미지나 예시(예: rooftops, mountain trails, skyline from tall buildings)를 넣어 설명력을 높이세요.

示例: I like both urban and rural views. Urban scenes appeal to me because I can take dramatic skyline shots from tall buildings, while rural areas offer peaceful landscapes and natural textures. For example, I often photograph city rooftops at dusk and mountain trails during early morning light.

建议: 의견은 명확하지만 문장 구조가 어색하고 반복(“we can, we can”), 문법 오류(“in especially in”), 부정확한 표현(“length size is quite small”)과 미완성 문장이 있습니다. 개선 방법: (1) 주제문으로 선호를 분명히 밝히고 이유를 1-2문장으로 구체화하세요. (2) 반복과 불필요한 단어를 제거하고, ‘거리/면적이 작다’는 의미는 ‘country is small’ 혹은 ‘places are close to each other’처럼 자연스럽게 표현하세요. (3) 구체적 예시(예: specific mountains, lakes, travel time)로 설득력을 높이세요.

示例: I prefer views in my own country, South Korea, because it has many mountains and lakes that are easy to reach. For example, I can visit a seaside village or a mountain trail within an hour from Seoul, so I often take photos during short weekend trips.

× One of my hobbies is taking a pictures and I'm very interested in photography.

✓ One of my hobbies is taking pictures and I'm very interested in photography.

The error is using the gerund 'taking' with a plural noun preceded by an extra article 'a'. Remove the indefinite article 'a' before the plural noun 'pictures'. Use 'taking pictures' after 'is' because 'is' + gerund functions as a noun phrase. Suggestion: say 'One of my hobbies is taking pictures.'

× So when I have my when I have my spare time I usually take a picture using my camera which I bought in application called Tongan and I.

✓ When I have spare time, I usually take pictures with my camera, which I bought through an app called Tongan.

The original sentence repeats phrases ('when I have my') and contains awkward word order and improper preposition use ('in application' and trailing 'and I'). Correct by removing repetition, using 'spare time' without 'my' twice, using plural 'pictures' to match habitual action, using the preposition 'with' for using a camera, and 'through an app' for how it was bought. Also remove the extraneous 'and I'. Suggestion: streamline sentences and choose correct prepositions.

× Actually I I like both bills including urban areas and the rural areas because I usually take a beautiful sceneries including both areas and especially in urban areas I try to taking a picture on the high building.

✓ Actually, I like both urban and rural areas because I usually take beautiful scenery in both. Especially in urban areas, I try to take pictures from high buildings.

Multiple issues: repeated 'I', incorrect noun 'bills' instead of 'both', wrong article use 'a beautiful sceneries' (mixes singular article with plural noun), incorrect gerund form 'try to taking' (should be 'try to take'), wrong preposition 'on the high building' (use 'from high buildings'). Correct by using 'scenery' as an uncountable noun or 'sceneries' rarely used; better 'beautiful scenery'. Suggestion: avoid repetition, match singular/plural and use correct verb forms 'try to take'.

× I like my country's view because in especially in South Korea, there are a lot of mountains and lakes.

✓ I like my country's scenery because, especially in South Korea, there are a lot of mountains and lakes.

Use 'scenery' instead of 'view' for general landscapes. The phrase 'in especially in' is redundant; use 'especially in'. Add commas for clarity. 'Country's view' is awkward; 'country's scenery' is more natural. Suggestion: remove redundant words and use appropriate nouns for landscapes.

× So we can, we can and also most people can go there easily because the length size is quite small.

✓ So we, and most people, can go there easily because the country's size is quite small.

The original repeats 'we can, we can' and uses awkward phrase 'length size'. Replace with 'the country's size' or 'the country is small'. Remove repetition and clarify subject. Suggestion: avoid repetition and use clear noun phrases like 'the country's size'.

× So I can easily.

✓ So I can go there easily.

This fragment lacks an object and is an incomplete sentence. Add the verb phrase 'go there' to complete the thought and match prior context about visiting mountains and lakes. Suggestion: ensure sentences contain a verb and object when needed.