视图— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Reduce hesitations and simplify sentences. Start with a clear topic sentence, give one brief reason with a specific example, and avoid repeating words. Also correct minor grammar (e.g., “their impressive sceneries” → “impressive scenery”).

示例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because I like capturing the atmosphere and light. For example, last month I photographed a seaside sunset to show the warm colors and calm water. Although my husband knows camera settings better, I focus on framing and choosing the best moments.

建议: Give a clear direct answer first, then provide two concise, specific reasons connected by linking words. Reduce fillers and correct grammar (e.g., “I'm leaving an urban area” → “I live in an urban area”; “going to the countryside helps me relieve stress”).

示例: I prefer rural views because I live in a city and need a break from urban noise. For instance, countryside walks help me relax and forget work stress, and the fresh air and open spaces feel restorative.

建议: Answer directly and use clear grammar and linking. State your preference (or lack of one) succinctly, then give a specific reason and an example. Avoid repeating words and truncating sentences.

示例: I don't really prefer one over the other because every country has its own beauty. For example, I enjoy my home country's mountains for their familiarity, but I also appreciate foreign cities for their architecture and culture, so I travel to enjoy different kinds of scenery.

× I enjoy capturing, umm, their impressive sceneries and the atmosphere.

✓ I enjoy capturing their impressive scenery and the atmosphere.

Scenery is an uncountable noun and should not be pluralized as 'sceneries'. 'Their' is okay if referring to places; removal of comma and filler words improves fluency. Use 'scenery' to refer collectively to views.

× But I'm not very skilled at technique.

✓ But I'm not very skilled at technique.

The original sentence is grammatically acceptable but awkward: 'at technique' is unusual. Prefer 'at photography techniques' or 'in technique'. Suggested clearer version: 'But I'm not very skilled in technique' or better 'But I'm not very skilled at photographic techniques.' This fixes precision rather than strict grammar.

× So, uh, I was posing whereas my husband took the shot.

✓ So I posed while my husband took the shot.

Use simple past 'posed' and 'took' for a completed action. 'Whereas' is used for contrast and is too formal here; 'while' indicates simultaneous actions. Remove filler words and unnecessary progressive aspect.

× I'm leaving an urban area so I prefer to visit a rural area.

✓ I live in an urban area, so I prefer to visit rural areas.

'I'm leaving' suggests departing; the intended meaning is residence, so use 'I live'. Pluralize 'rural areas' for general preference. Add comma after clause for clarity.

× Umm, going to countryside is help me to uh, relieve all the stress from kid from work and uh, just from the city.

✓ Going to the countryside helps me relieve stress from my children, from work, and from the city.

Use the gerund phrase 'Going to the countryside' as subject and match with singular verb 'helps'. Include definite article 'the' with 'countryside'. 'Help me to relieve' can be simplified to 'helps me relieve'. Specify 'my children' rather than 'kid'. Remove redundant fillers and reorder items for clarity.

× It's unfair to compare umm view is my country and the other country because umm it it views had its own beauty.

✓ It's unfair to compare the views in my country with those in other countries because each view has its own beauty.

Correct article use: 'the views in my country' and plural 'those in other countries'. Use 'compare X with Y'. Change tense to present simple 'has' for general truth and correct 'views had' to 'view has' or plural 'views have'. Remove duplicate filler 'it it'.

× So umm I traveling everywhere to stay and view, not because of the other view is better and then my views be I just want to.

✓ So I travel everywhere to stay and see the views, not because other views are better than mine, but because I want to.

Use present simple 'I travel' for habitual action. 'To stay and view' is awkward; use 'to stay and see the views' or 'to see the views'. Fix comparison structure: 'not because other views are better than mine'. Remove 'be' and complete the clause 'because I want to.' Adjust word order and remove fillers for clarity.